Dean cleared his throat. “I guess sometimes vasectomies reverse themselves.”
Three weeks had gone by since the plan was set in motion, and they’d reached the point when the other members of The Vows had to be told about Elliott. The legal team at Full Moon Records was about to be served with the papers to have Mike’s royalties given to Claudia. The moment that happened, the rumors would start rolling.
So Dean had invited them to meet at his place to sign some paperwork. It was a chilly Monday evening, and he had a fire going in the ‘70s freestanding fireplace while the Miami Dolphins took on the Buffalo Bills on his wide-screen television.
Steven lit a cigarette, then took a long drag. “I can’t believe it. What are the chances?”
“Pretty slim,” Dean answered.
“Why would Claudia keep this from us?” Steven asked him.
“Who knows? I think she was in shock,” Dean said. “First she loses Mike, then she finds out she’s pregnant and she’ll be raising a baby on her own.”
Zane shook his head, his eyebrows knitting together. “My God, she’s been through so much.”
“I can’t believe it,” Rusty said, his voice cracking. “Just think. If Mike had known he was going to be a father…”
He didn’t have to finish the sentence. They all knew what he was thinking. Steven’s shoulders dropped, and he curled his head down. “Aww, fuck, man.”
Zane’s body went numb. It was one thing to lie to protect his family and the band, but he hadn’t expected his friends to react this way. The pain they were feeling was right there on the surface. He and Dean exchanged a glance, then Dean turned his head to stare at the fireplace. His anger toward Zane burned with the heat of the flames. But there was nothing Zane could do now except carry on with the plan. It was the only way forward. His guilt and the pain of losing Mike rose up to his chest. “It’s tragic, but there’s no sense in wondering what would have happened. Mike’s gone and nothing is going to change that. But at least a part of him exists, right?”
Rusty’s eyes filled with tears. He wiped them away and cleared his throat. “He would’ve loved having a son, wouldn’t he?”
Steven nodded, scrunching up his face. “He really would have. He’d have stayed clean and given that kid everything. It would have changed his whole life.”
Rusty shook his head and wiped his eyes again. “He’s going to miss it all. Every second of what should’ve been the greatest thing in his life.”
Zane kept his eyes on his bottle of beer, tugging on the bottom corner of the label to avoid seeing his friends in such pain.
Letting out a sigh, Rusty said, “And poor Claud. I’m such an asshole. I never even bothered to check on her once since the funeral. Not one time, and here she was going through all of this alone.” He looked at Dean, his expression desperate. “Tell me her mom has been here for her at least?”
Dean shook his head. “Not really.”
“Not even when she had the baby?”
“No,” he answered, his voice quiet.
“Well, fuck me, that’s awful,” Rusty said. “What women go through to bring babies into this world is… unbelievable, and to have to do it alone… Did you guys go see her after the funeral?”
Steven shook his head. “I thought about it, but it just felt too… hard.”
Rusty nodded. “Same. Zane? You?”
He sniffed, then said, “Yeah, I went to her place a couple of times, but not since spring. She didn’t look pregnant or anything.” Oh, he was a son of a bitch for that one, but all the best lies have some truth to them, and he was doing what had to be done for the sake of his family and the innocent men around the table.
Rusty’s eyes glistened. “You’re a much better man than me. I’ve been so caught up in my own head, I didn’t even think about her.”
A much better man than me. His words bounced around violently in Zane’s head, leaving bruises inside his skull. Bruises he deserved. Peeling more of the label, Zane said, “Nah. I’m not. If I were a better friend, maybe none of this would’ve happened.”
“Aww, dude, you can’t take that on,” Steven told him. “Mike’s troubles started back when we were kids. You got him out of that house. You and your parents. But the trouble followed him.”
Zane closed his eyes, wishing he could disappear. He needed to get away from his self-loathing. Away from the truth. But he couldn’t. He’d have to sit here and keep up the whole good guy facade, even though he had betrayed everyone at that table, on top of his wife, family, and his best friend.
The back of his neck was too hot, and he felt sick to his stomach. Suddenly he wished they had met at a pub. Being here in this room brought back a flood of memories that forced him to face his true nature. Or maybe it wasn’t who he had started out to be, but who he’d become.
FEBRUARY 24, 1982
ZANE
