“Is it so awful to like those things? Do you know how many women would kill to have my life? I’m married to one of the most talented, most influential rock stars on the planet. He’s written songs about me. People all over the world sing along to lyrics aboutmy eyes. Do you know how addictive that is?” Sienna asked. “I can have anything I want whenever I want it. I don’t have to lift a finger. I do, but I don’t have to. And I never have to think about how much anything costs because I can just buy it. There’s no waiting. No budgeting. Not even any asking. I go get it.”
“Sounds like a dream life if not for all the infidelity.”
“You can’t erase twenty years of wonderful over one mistake.”
“A mistake or a choice?”
“It’s complicated. They were both grieving.”
Kylie stared at her for a moment before saying anything. “It seems to me like you want him back, Sienna, and that any price is worth paying for you to keep him.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No, it isn’t. You could be successful on your own, you know that, right?”
“At what?!”
“So many things. You’re a great cook. You’ve got a real eye for design,” she said, glancing around the kitchen. “And you’re beautiful and warm.” She snapped her fingers. “You’d be amazing on TV. One of those home decorating shows…”
“Blech, no thank you.”
“All right, how about designing for clients? Or you could come work with me. There are literally a thousand careers you’d absolutely kill at.”
“Thank you, but if I wanted a big, shiny career, I could’ve had one all along. Zane would support that. This isn’t about money or becoming a career girl. I’ll never want for anything even if I do divorce him. And a career isn’t a replacement for a husband you’ve built a life with.” Sienna took a deep breath. “This is about deciding whether or not to give my marriage another chance.”
“I’m simply trying to open your mind to all of life’s possibilities. This could be a fresh start for you. A chance to go in a completely different direction.”
“I don’twantto go in a new direction. Ilovemy life,” she answered. “We have a family together. We’ll forever be tied by that. And frankly, any new direction would be terrifying. I’d be all alone. He’ll get Kitty and the guys and all our other friends because they’re all part of the industry. I’d have no one.”
“Bullshit. You’ll have me. And you still have other friends out there. Other moms and the people in the charities you work with.”
Sienna closed her eyes. “It all sounds unbelievably lonely. And too hard.”
“It’ll be both for a while, but it could also be wonderful. Exciting. You could meet some new man who will treat you right.”
Shuddering, she said, “I don’t want a new man.”
“Fine, no man then. That’s probably the first good decision you’d be making. But I promise you, if you decide to end it, you won’t be alone. You’ll have support.”
Fresh tears slid down her cheeks. The thought of letting go—really letting go of Zane forever—sounded impossible.
Kylie reached out and put her hand on Sienna’s. “He doesn’t deserve you. He never has. And if you let him come back home, you’re doing it knowing that he’s going to do it again. Maybe not for a while, but he will.”
“He might not. The way he’s begging and pleading certainly makes it seem like he’s willing to change.”
Kylie gave her a hard stare before answering, and when she did, her words cut Sienna to the quick. “Did you ever wonder if he maybe begged Angela too?”
FOURTEEN WEEKS BEFORE THE CONCERT
“If I knew where the good songs came from, I'd go there more often.” ~ Leonard Cohen
DECEMBER 16TH, 1996
ZANE
“That makes no sense,” Steven said, looking from Dean to Rusty to Zane. “Mike had a vasectomy.”
Rusty shook his head. “Yeah, there’s no way this could be Mike’s baby.”
