“Neither of the kids took him out when they got home from school?”
“Winnie had a grad meeting and Noah went to Liam’s. He’s having supper there.”
Clearly, they both decided to only let their dad know, which was a definite message to her.It’s the three of us now. Mom’s gone.Jessica sighed. “I’ll finish cleaning it up.”
“No need. I’m done.” He got up, took the bucket and cloth, and walked out of the room, his wordsI’m doneringing in the air. It had only been her first day at work, and he was already done.
Baxter stood on his hind legs and rested his front paws on her knee, whining about his horrible day alone. Jessica crouched down and scratched his ears, knowing this was just the beginning of the guilt trip she was about to take. “Sorry, buddy. We’re going to have to work out a schedule so that somebody comes home earlier every day.”
Mike disappeared upstairs and Jess got started making supper, without bothering to change out of her work clothes. Remembering her promise to still put dinner on the table every night, she started some jasmine rice in the rice cooker, then took out some frozen meatballs and added them to a skillet with some sweet and sour sauce and some canned pineapple. Next, she got started on a salad. It wasn’t gourmet, but it would be tasty and would fill them up.
While the meatballs simmered, Jess grabbed her laptop and her notepad and sat at the island transcribing her notes into a spreadsheet. But it was nearly impossible to concentrate with the deafening silence in the house. She was tempted to call Diana or her mom to tell them about her great day, but decided against it, knowing she wouldn’t get the reaction she was hoping for from either of them.
When supper was nearly ready, she texted Winnie to ask if she’d be home soon. A minute later, she got a terse reply:Having supper at Gina’s.
Jess opened a bottle of red wine and got out two glasses, hoping that a dinner with just the two of them might help ease the tension. When everything was ready, she called upstairs to Mike and plated the food. When he came down, he was dressed in sweats and a t-shirt, and looked slightly rumpled as if he had just been napping. She sat down at the table, expecting him to do the same, but he didn’t. Instead, he took his plate and his wine over to his recliner and turned on the football game without a word. Jessica brought her notes to the table and scanned them while she ate, doing her best to ignore the loneliness. When she finished cleaning up the kitchen, she made her way over to the couch and sat down, her wine refilled.
“Don’t you think maybe we should talk?” she asked Mike.
“About what?” he answered without looking at her.
“Well, obviously things are pretty tense between us and we promised each other we’d start talking things out instead of letting them fester.”
“Yeah, I was thinking about that. Pretty interesting timing on when you proposed that. About ten minutes before you blew up our life.” He paused, then added, “Convenient.”
“That’s not why I suggested it,” she said quietly.
“No?” he asked, glancing over at her with his jaw set.
“No. And I didn’t blow up our life. I’m finally trying to have one.”
“You had one. You just decided it wasn’t good enough for you.”
“Well, can you blame me?” she asked.
“Yeah, I can,” he snapped. “Everything was fine.Youwere fine, then one day you just decide that everything had to change overnight because you were, what? Bored?”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what? Tell the truth?”
“Don’t reduce this down to something stupid and shallow like being bored.” Jessica raised her voice, tears threatening to appear. “I’m not bored. I’m wildly unfulfilled. There’s a massive difference.”
Mike’s jaw dropped. “You’re wildly unfulfilled. Well, that’s nice to hear about the life we built.”
Her vision blurred and she cleared her throat. “Mike, this isn’t about you or our marriage. It’s aboutmeand what I’m doing withmy life. You’ve got a career that you love. You’ve got your own stuff. You play squash every week, you go to conferences and on golf trips with your friends. You use your brain forimportant things. I don’t get to do that. I’m stuck here planning meals and … and trying to get stains out of Noah’s shirts. Just try to put yourself in my shoes for one minute. Imagine ifIhad been the one going off to the office every day andyouwere the one here alone all day.”
“I wouldloveto have your life. Not having to get up at six every day and put on a stupid tie that feels like it might choke me, getting to decide what I’m going to do and what I’ll leave for another time. No deadlines, no asshole boss breathing down your neck all day, not having the kind of stress that comes with having to provide for four people,” Mike said, raising his voice. “Your life is a cake walk compared to mine. But you don’t want it? Fine. That’s fine, Jess. Go off and be someone new. Go have your wildly fulfilling life. Just don’t expect anyone else to be super thrilled about it, because you’ve up and changed everything on everyone who loves you.”
“You only think that because you don’t have the first clue what it’s actually like to be the mom. My time is not my own. And Idohave deadlines—every day, people expect to eat food and have clean clothes to wear. And then someone gets sick or they forget about the science fair and need me to rush around to buy supplies or…or Susan’s renovation isn’t done so I’m asked to host Thanksgiving dinner!”
“I said I would take care of that!”
“Oh comeon. We both know you can’t handle it so stop pretending.”
“You know what? I can handle it, just like I handled everything after your accident. So on Thanksgiving, I don’t even want you to step foot in the kitchen. I’ll do the whole damn thing from start to finish.”
“That’s ridiculous. It’s too much work for one person,” Jessica huffed.
