As we head inside, I head to the bathroom. I clean my teeth. I check my pits to make sure I don’t stink, then I tug my jeans down and wash my cock and balls, because fuck knows what the etiquette is when it comes to these things. I step out of the bathroom.
“You okay? You were in there a while. Was your food okay?”
“I’m fine. I just needed to… freshen up.” He chuckles and shakes his head. I walk over and sit beside him. And turn to look at him. “Do you think… do you want… would you…?”
“Jay, I love you, man, but maybe we should just call it a night. It's getting weird, and I don’t want things to get weird.”
He stands to leave, and I walk him towards the door. As I open it, I turn straight into him and kiss him like my life depends on it. I push him against the wall and slide my tongue over his. He initially stiffens, but after a second, he relaxes into it, and I whisper against his lips. “Stay.” I kiss him again. “Stay with me?”
He kisses me back and murmurs, “Okay,” into my mouth as I nip down on his bottom lip. He groans, and I take that as an invitation to kiss him harder, push him harder, and I lean into him against the wall, sliding my tongue over his.
“Jay.” He gasps out as I lean in closer. I have him pinned against the wall, and he’s panting. His chest is rapidly rising and falling, and just the way he says my name, all breathy and shit, does things to me. I want to fuck him right now.
I kiss him harder. “Stay,” I whisper into his mouth, and he closes his eyes for a second, taking a breath before opening them up and staring into my soul.
“Jay.” He gasps. “There’s no rush.”
“I’m not rushing.” I kiss him gentler this time. “I just don’t want you to go yet. Please?”
He nods and sags a little against the wall. I slide my hands up to his cheeks and look into his eyes. I’ve known him a long time, and I can see how scared he is.
“I’m not him,” I say with confidence. “I’m not keeping whatever this is a secret, Ryder.” I took you out tonight, I’ve already told Mum, and you can guess how that conversation went.”
“You told your mum?” He hangs his head. “What did she say?” he whispers.
“She asked me what took us so long?”
He huffs out a laugh and shakes his head. “She really said that?”
I nod. “Turns out the only one who didn’t see it was me.” I kiss him gently this time. “Yes, I’m confused and out of my depth, I wonder what the hell I’m doing, but not about you. I’ve always known I love you. I just didn’t realise in what way before. Come to bed with me.” I kiss him again. “Not for anything other than I want you there.”
He smiles and kisses me back slowly but surely, and I know we can make this work. I know I want him. I just need to figure out how to get him. But the way he’s looking at me now, I think I already know he’s mine, and at this moment, I’m sure he’s been mine since we were thirteen. I know if I want him; I just have to decide how soon I want him. I turn and walk towards the bedroom, reaching for his hand and tugging him along behind me.
I head into the bathroom and strip down, coming out in my boxers, and slide into bed. Ryder does the same and joins me, sliding down till we’re facing each other. “I had a really good time tonight.” He smiles.
I lean in and kiss him, pulling back. I nod. “Me too.”
He rolls over to get comfy, and I sigh a little. I know he’s trying to take it slow, but I’m wound up and almost frustrated, so I slide against his back and wrap my arm around him. “I’ll be big spoon tonight,” I whisper into his ear, sliding one hand under his neck and the other around his waist. I shuffle to get comfy, and he groans.
I smile into his shoulder and gently lay a kiss on it. He takes a deep breath, and I kiss his neck, and I grind into him a little, and he groans my name. “Jay, babe, please.”
“Please stop or…?” I kiss his neck again just under his ear, and I nip down gently in the same spot, then run my tongue across it, nipping at his ear lobe.
“Jay, babe, you’re making this really hard.”
I slide my hand inside his boxers, and I can feel the solid length bulging inside them. I run my hand up and down his shaft and run my thumb over the tip. He bucks into my hand, and I smile.
“I certainly am.” He groans but doesn’t stop me. I grind into his arse and twist my hand up and down his dick. It feels so soft as I run my thumb over his slit. He’s so wet, and I groan into his neck. “Fuck, you feel so good.”
“Jay.” He gasps, and I nip down on his neck, causing a fucking dirty groan to be ripped from him.
“You like it a little rougher, huh, beautiful?” I nip down again, and feeling his hard body against mine makes me feel almost feral.
I know I need to take it slow and ease in gentle, but I also know I’m gonna love not having to be gentle, I’m a big lad everywhere, and when I’ve been with women, they all seem to be petite things, and I have to hold back, be gentle, don’t mark them, don’t be too heavy-handed, but with him, god, I hope I won’t have tobe. I hope I get to be as feral as I feel right now. I want to rut and bite and slap, and fuck, if I don’t want to pin him down by his throat. My eyes flash. What if he wants to pin me down?
“Fuck.” I groan into his neck, and I grind against him. I bite down on my lip, trying not to cum in my pants, but I can’t do anything. My spare hand is trapped under him, so I stroke it across his chest and down to his nipple, pinching it between my finger and thumb.
“Fuck, Jay,” he gasps out as he bucks against me, and I grind into him harder.
