“Baby, you’re not making any sense.”
“I got drunk, went to Jay’s, he got drunk with me, and I kissed him, we did… stuff, and when we woke up this morning, he freaked out, and… I left. I… I’ve lost him.”
“Baby, just give him time, okay? You two have been there for each other forever, and that doesn’t just go away because you kissed.”
“But I took it too far. I don’t think we will come back from it. I don’t think he will come back from it. I’ve ruined everything.”
They hug me tighter, but I know the damage is done.
Jay
Chapter 47
When I wake up the next morning, he squeezes me tighter, and I groan. I shuffle back, and his dick pokes me, and I gasp and jump out of bed, disappearing into the bathroom. I lock the door and start pacing. “What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck?”
I take a deep, shaky breath and look at myself in the mirror. My lips are slightly darker, bruised, maybe, and I have fucking stubble rash on my chin. I lean my hands on the side by the sink and close my eyes. Fuck, what the hell happened? One minute, we’re talking, and the next, we’re kissing and then the fumbling and… oh fuck. I pull my boxer shorts out and fuck, there’s crusted cum everywhere, and I mean everywhere. I stare down at it. I don’t think I’ve ever cum that hard, ever. What the fuck does that mean?
I can’t deal right now, so I step into the shower and scrub every inch of me clean. I close my eyes and rest my head on the side of the wall. I take a deep breath and try to unpack everything. I try to still my pounding heart and try to figure out my next move, but when I close my eyes, all I can see is him staring back at me. I can still feel the kiss of his lips against mine, and as I wash myself, it’s his hands I feel caressing me, stroking me, and I slide my hand over my dick. I’m hard, sofucking hard, and I want to feel his hands on me. I try to rationalise everything, and none of it makes sense, but then it makes perfect sense. I fuck a lot of girls; none ever stay, though. I don’t get close to anyone but Ryder. He’s my best friend, my person. I’m freaking out right now, but all I want to do is curl into his arms while he holds me and tells me everything will be okay.
I towel off and step out into the bedroom. But he’s gone. My shoulders sag, and I sigh out what the fuck have we done.
I pick up my phone to call him, but there’s a message.
Ryder:“Jay.”
His voice cracks, and he lets out a sob.
Ryder:“Fuck, Jay. I’m so sorry, I’m so, so, sorry, please don’t hate me.”
I squeeze my eyes closed, and a tear runs down my face. How could he ever think I hate him? I love him more than any other person in the world. I go to grab my favourite jogging suit, but it’s gone. I look back into the bathroom, and his clothes are there.
“Motherfucker. He knows that’s my favourite.” I throw on a different one, grab a bag, shove his clothes in, and head out to my car. I need to see him. We need to sort this out, whatever the fuck this is, but whatever happens, I cannot lose my best fucking friend. I refuse to!
Ryder
Chapter 48
I’m still hugging Mum and Dad, and I’ve almost stopped sobbing. There’s a knock at the door, then it swings open, and he strides in. He glares at us all, then frowns. “You took my favourite jogging suit.”
I look at him and frown back. “What?” That’s not what I was expecting to come out of his mouth. Mum lets go of me, and Dad steps back.
“My favourite jogging suit.” He points. “You took it.”
“You came to get your jogging suit back?” I cross my arms over my chest and look at him, really look at him. I’m fucking confused. He drops a bag on the counter and then looks me up and down.
“It doesn’t go with your boots; you look a twat!”
I let out a huff and turn and look at Mum and Dad. He shakes his head and leaves the room, and Mum just shrugs and grabs the washing basket, heading out the back door.
“So, you came to tell me I look a twat?”
“Yes!” He smiles proudly. “And to give you this.” He steps forward with his hand clenched and holds it up towards me, stepping closer. I reach out to take it from him, but he lifts his hand higher and slaps me around the face. I gasp in shock.
“What the fuck?”
And then he steps forward again. “And to give you this.” He grabs the front of my shirt and drags me to him, crashing his lips to mine. He wraps his arms around me and grabs me tighter against him. I slide one hand tentatively behind his back and run the other up to his face. I don’t know whether this is the start of something or the end of everything, and if this is goodbye, I need him to know I love him.
When we break away, breathless, chests pounding and pulses racing, I ask him, “What does this mean?”
