“The best thing that happened to me!”
“He’s not?” Jay asks.
“Not even close.” I grin. “Guess, guess what is?”
Jay thinks for a minute, biting his lip while he does. “The team, getting onto the team. That’s the best thing?”
“Nope, it’s up there, but not the best.”
“The new bike, that thing is sweet.”
“Nope.”
He sighs. “Of course, I’ve got it. Your mum and dad getting back together.”
He grins like he’s won the prize, and I shake my head.
He frowns. “Ah, the sponsorship deal? You’re gonna be walking catwalks like a right fitty.”
“Nope.”
“I give in.”
“Really?”
“Yup.”
I lean closer, tilt his gaze to meet mine and whisper, “It’s you.”
I crash my lips to his, and he gasps in shock, so I slide my tongue in and pull him against my body. I grip his arse and pull him tighter against me, he groans as he kisses me back. Fuck, he’s kissing me back. He slides his hand into my hair and pulls me tighter against him, and I slide my leg between his as I buck against him. I slide my hand down his body, over every tattoo and every plane of every muscle.
I slide my hand in the front of his boxer shorts. I grip his dick tight in my hand, and he bucks against me. I smile into the kiss. I slowly start to tease his dick in my hand, rubbing him up and down and sliding my thumb across the head. I grind against him, and he fists my hair.
Kissing me till we’re both gasping, he’s bucking and thrusting against my hand.
“Ryder,” he whispers out as his breath stutters and his eyes go wide as he cums. I slide my thumb through it and bring it up to my mouth, sliding it between my lips. I groan, and my eyes flutter closed. When I open them, Jay is staring at me with a dazed look on his face, and I lean in and gently press my lips to his.
“Sleep.” I smile against his lips. He nods and turns in my arms, and I pull him back against me.
When I wake up the next morning, I squeeze him tighter, and he groans. He shuffles back, and I’m sure my dick pokes him as he gasps and jumps out of bed. He stares at me for a second before disappearing into the bathroom.
“Fuck.”
What the fuck was I thinking? He’s my best friend, and I’ve fucked this up. It’s just… I’ve been in love with him forever, and he broke my heart when he turned me down when we were thirteen, and I never tried again. I’ve loved him as my friend, but last night… fuck, it was everything I thought I had with Arch, but more. He’s all I’ve ever wanted, but I know he’s not gay. I just … fuck, it felt like nothing I’ve ever felt before, and I’ve just ruined everything. What if I’ve just lost the one person who loves me unconditionally? I’ve screwed it all up, and when I normally feel like this out-of-control, Jay’s the one I go to, the one I trust with everything.
My mind is racing, and fuck… I need to… I need to fucking leave. I can’t have him walk back out of the bathroom with that look on his face, the one where he’s disappointed in me, the one where he flicks me the look, and I know I’ve fucked up and need to apologise, because I don’t think I can apologise. I love him. I always have. That’s why I never got close to anyone. Then Arch came, but he still wasn’t Jay.
I slide out of bed and fuck. My clothes are still in the bathroom. I open Jay’s wardrobe and grab a jogging suit. I pull it on and slide out of the room, slipping my feet in my boots. I quietly click the door shut behind me. I pull out my phone and go to text him, but I send a voice note instead.
Ryder:“Jay.”
My voice cracks, and I let out a sob.
Ryder:“Fuck, Jay. I’m so sorry, I’m so, so, sorry, please don’t hate me.”
I hang up and run home. I burst through the door, and Mum and Dad are sitting at the table having breakfast. Tears are streaming down my face, and Mum stands to greet me. I fall into her arms and sob. I feel Dad get up and hug us.
“I’ve lost everything, Mum.” I sob again. “I activated my dumb fuck switch, and I ruined everything.”
