She melts against me, becoming soft in my hands and I step us back until her spine is pressed to the door and then lift. Her legs immediately go around my waist and she tilts to allow me to kiss her harder.
It’s like nothing has changed, no time has passed. We fit together, her and I, and while our puzzle is incomplete, a few pieces missing, the picture is still fucking beautiful.
I am going to fix this. I am going to fix us.
This is just the first step in that direction.
I gently pull away from the kiss, my heart thumping inside my chest like a freight train out of control and she follows, chasing the connection, her lips swollen and her eyes reddened by her tears. She blinks slowly, a little dazed until her eyes suddenly widen.
“Put me down,” She demands breathlessly.
I tighten my hold, “I really don’t want to.”
“It wasn’t a request,” She fidgets in my arms until I have no choice but to let her go, lowering her feet back to the floor before she sidesteps and wraps her arms around herself. My kiss still lingers on her mouth, her lips glossy.
But it isn’t want or need or love staring back at me, it’s betrayal and regret.
“I want to leave.”
“Savannah,” I plead.
“Let me go!” She yells, “Let me go, Killian,please.”
Swallowing, I take the few steps to the kitchen and grab the keys for the door, “Let me drive you home. Let me throw some clothes on and take you back.”
Her nostrils flare, “Fine.”
I throw the sweats I had on last night back on my legs and grab a tee before I walk her to the car silently, opening the passenger door for her to slide inside. She keeps her eyes averted and once I’m inside with her, she turns to the window, keeping herself as far from me as she can get.
She doesn’t remember it all yet. She doesn’t remember how she feels.
I pull onto the road and take her back to her house, the journey silent and tense and when I come to a stop outside her place she immediately reaches for the handle.
“Do not come here,” She says with her back to me, “I do not want to see you. I don’t want to speak to you. I don’t remember it all, Killian but I will and whether you regret not telling me or not, I cannot and will not forgive you for lying to me.”
Guilt churns through me, “Let me explain.”
She scoffs a laugh, “Would you have ever told me if I didn’t remember?”
I don’t want to lie to her, so I don’t speak at all.
“How do I know you won’t lie again?” She shakes her head, “I can’t trust you, Killian and that kiss? It was a mistake.”
She gets out before I can say another word and slams the door behind her, storming toward the house without even a backward glance. She gets the door open and is inside in the next blink, the door closed and likely locked behind her. My hands curl around the steering wheel, knuckles turning white.
So many mistakes, so many regrets, but finally giving into her isn’t one of them. I regret lying. Regret pushing her away, forcing us to be in the shadows, to love in secret but I’ll never regret giving her whatever is left of my heart.
I pushed her away thinking it would be best for her, that it could never be me because I was too fucking scared.
I’m a fucking coward.
But I need to fix this, and I know exactly where to start.
With a final glance at the house, I pull back into the street and I make my way to Sebastian’s house.
Chapter Forty-eight
Sebastian meets me at the door, a frown on his brow and a baby in his arms. He looks as if he hasn’t slept a fucking wink, and poor Hope is wailing as he rocks her and waits for me to make it over to him.
