“We’re not done,” He says.
“Yes,” I nod, “We are.”
Chapter Seventeen
Ifucked up.
I thought I was doing the right thing, giving her the space after turning up like that but I should have known that wasn’t the right move. And now she’s ignoring me but in a way that shows everyone else she isn’t. I mean she is talking to me but not engaging, laughing at the jokes I say but it’s so fucking fake it actually hurts.
She’s going through the motions, but I see that big fucking brick wall she’s built between us.
I fucked up and I don’t even know how to fix it.
What the fuck was I thinking?
How do I explain it to her!? That I need her to understand how dangerous being with me is!?
Savannah is here and she’s smiling, finally home after being on tour for months but I can’t even start to celebrate it with the crushing feeling in my chest. Willow excuses herself to the bar a moment later so I follow her, coming to a stop at her side as she waits for the server to finish with the client he is with.
“Talk to me, Willow,” I practically beg, “Come on, Red, we’re better than this.”
One groomed brow pops up, “I thought so too,” She agrees, “But then you ghosted me.”
“Fuck, Willow, I made a mistake! I thought I was doing the right thing! I thought that’s what you needed.”
“Needed?” She scoffs, “Why on earth would you think that’s what I needed?”
“Because I thought you might have second thoughts,” I say, “After I showed up like that.”
I need to fix you.
She doesn’t understand she will never be able to fix me. This is it. This is me. The bloody, brutal monster whokillspeople for a living. It’s not something I can or want to change.
She snaps her head back like my words are physical blows, “Second thoughts?” She hisses, “No, the only thing I was fucking thinking, Sebastian, is that you got what you wanted from me and decided you weregood. I thought that the months of friendship were nothing but a game to you to see how long it would take you to get into bed with me.”
Sickness rolls through me, “What the fuck, Red?”
“Don’t look offended, Bast,” She turns to the server, pretending I’m not even here when she orders herself, Savannah and Olivia some kind of cocktail I’ve never even heard of. Before the server can leave though, I order myself a drink and hand over my card to pay for the round.
“I don’t need you to buy the drinks,” She says under her breath.
“I’m aware,” I grumble.
Silence settles between us, and she watches the drinks being made intently, purposely keeping her eyes forward and away from me.
“If you think being away from you this week was easy for me, then you’re wrong,” I tell her when I can see the drinks are done and being placed on a tray, “I couldn’t fucking breathe.”
I leave her with that as I take the drinks and head back to the table, leaving her to stare after me.
It wasn’t a lie. Staying away from her was like purposely keeping myself under water until my lungs were screaming. She doesn’t understand how far she is under my skin, or how long she has been there. At first it was easy to pretend like she hadn’t stolen vital parts of me until I finally had the taste I was cravingand now it’s like living without air.
My smile is plastered on my face, my shoulders purposely relaxed as I hand Olivia and Savannah their drinks and place Willow’s at her empty place setting and pluck my whiskey off the tray. We’ve all already had dinner and after this round we’re planning on hitting the club now we’re all caught up.
Savannah has a light about her that I’ve always loved to see on her, but she looks like that after every show. She’s doing what she’s always dreamed of and even though it takes her away from my protection, I can’t be too mad about it.
But she’ll always be the little sister that needs to be protected from the world and everyone in it, including the very men that sit around this table and see her as a sister as much as she is mine.
Willow returns a few minutes later and plucks up her drink, moving around to the spare seat at Olivia’s side so she can join in on the conversation with the two girls.
