For the last few years, I’ve had to shut down, close off, ice over my heart to help resist the urge to contact my family and Vanessa. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be more than just an emotionless robot. Forgot what it’s like to live normally without being surrounded by so much death.
But I’m now back in Ravenpeak Bay.
“Vanessa is at the house,” I hear Maya tell Arryn and my head whips around at the sound of her name.
“She’s here?”
Maya’s brows lower, “Yes?”
I’m moving before another word can be said, legs eating up the gap between the docks and the house quickly, until I’m shoving open the door.
“Ness!” I call her name, something fluttering in my lower stomach at the thought of seeing her in the next few seconds, but only my echo responds. “Vanessa?”
Behind me, the rest of them come inside, “Kolt?” Tor finds me, “You okay?”
“Where is she?” I ask.
“Vanessa?”
“Yes, where is she?”
“Maya?”
But Maya shakes her head, “She was here a moment ago, perhaps she wanted to give everyone some time.”
I feel a set of eyes on me and turn to see Everett watching me, analyzing me. He always was good at reading people.
“Check at Ruthie’s,” He says, “She spends time there.”
Arryn grips his arm, eyes wide with understanding but he looks down at her and shakes his head, a silent conversation moving between them.
I’m out the door in the next breath, making my way towards Ruthie’s inn. Despite not being here in years I remember everything, the way to the diner and inn, the trail that leads to the cave, the docks. I remember it all.
When I push open the door to Ruthie’s, warmth and the smell of coffee greets me, the older woman sitting behind the reception desk with a newspaper.
“Hello, Kolten,” She smiles at me kindly. I’ve only met her once or twice, but she looks at me like I never left.
“Ruthie,” I greet, “Is Vanessa here?”
But the old woman shakes her head, “’fraid not.”
“Was she here?”
“Why are you looking for her?” She quizzes with a quirk of a brow.
I close the gap between us as if she has her hiding behind the desk, but it’s just Ruthie here and a few guests relaxing in the lobby in front of the fire. Behind the desk is a wall of picture frames, some shots of the bay and boats on the water, others the dramatic cliff edges that border this small town, but within the shots of the scenery other photos are scattered. Ruthie with her late husband in the top left corner, the image in black and white and so old it’s barely cohesive, another of Maya and Harper, and then Maya and Torin on their wedding day. I scan them all, almost missing the image of two women with blonde hair smiling back at the camera.
“Let me see that,” I rasp, unsure I’m seeing it correctly.
Ruthie follows my gaze and with a sigh, she takes down the picture, laying it gently on the counter in front of me.
My eyes aren’t deceiving me. That’s Vanessa and Imogen. Standing in front of the fire behind me, both beaming, their smiles bright and lighting up their eyes. And Vanessa is cradling her swollen abdomen, her baby bump large and round. She’s glowing. Happy.
Pregnant.
Something cracks inside my chest, fracturing and splintering into tiny little pieces.
She’s happy. She moved on.
