No one knows. No one will understand.
Ruthie’s dark brows tug low, “Kolten? Kolten Avery?”
I nod.
“Okay…” She urges for me to continue, to explain, her eyes flicking between me and my son before she settles on his face and looks. Like really looks.
I swallow, my stomach a mess of knots as I watch realization dawn on her face.
“Kolten is his dad,” She gasps.
“Shh,” I hush quickly, “Please don’t tell anyone!”
“What? Why not? How did this happen!?”
“I just…” How do I explain this?
Ruthie blows out a breath, “Ness, I’ve known you your whole life,” She softens, adjusting Ethan, “You wouldn’t do this without a reason.”
“What do I do?” A single tear rolls down my cheek, “He wasn’t supposed to come back.”
“Breathe, Vanessa,” She calms, “You’ll know what to do when you do.”
“I need to go home,” I open my arms for my son, “I need time to process this.”
“You can’t hide from him forever, Ness,” She warns me, “It’s a small town. Secrets don’t stay in the dark for very long. I don’t know how I missed it before, but Ethan looks like Kolten. With him here, people will see the resemblance.”
“I know.” I swallow. “I can’t face him yet, Ruthie. I just can’t.”
I make it home, closing and locking the door behind me before I place Ethan down in his play pen and then just stand there. His father is here. The father who doesn’t even know he exists.
On the mantel, above the dark fireplace the little carved moon and star sits in the center. I never had the heart to throw it out, even when I became so angry at Kolt, I physically hated him. Even when I cried, and I screamed that he was gone, and I was doing this alone.
I held that carving in my hand every time my anger came out, I held it until it cut into my palms, and I cried myself to sleep too often holding it.
But I never got rid of it.
I let it haunt me every day. I let it hold my secrets.
But now he’s here and my secrets aren’t going to remain that way for long.
Chapter Twenty-two
The air is cold, a wind coming off the ocean to nip at the bare skin on my face and hands. Maya, Torin’s new wife hugs him tight, and Everett keeps Arryn close.
I had my freedom now, thanks to the deal I made with Malakai Farrow, but I had to wonder if the bridges were too far gone to remake.
“Hello,” Harper, Torin’s stepdaughter greets me with a rosy cheeked smile, “I’m Harper.”
“I know.”
Her brows tug low, “Who are you?” She asks.
“Kolten. Torin’s older brother.”
She gasps, “I haveanotheruncle!?”
“I guess,” I swallow.
