His baby face is gone. He looks like the Saylor laying in a hospital bed a few doors down, the Saylor who...
Oh my God.
“No!” I whimper, my voice trembling, tears filling my eyes once more. I pull myself free from Hunter’s grip, my heart pounding with the terrible realization. Without a word, I rip open the door, rush out of the room, and run down the hallway toward Saylor’s. Dread chokes me as I approach the door, and I hesitate for just a second before pushing it open.
Inside, I find what I feared the most—Saylor’s lifeless body, not breathing.
The heart monitor by his bedside is flatlining, beeping one steady beep.
“Help!” I cry out before I run up to his bed and start compressions. My arms are screaming at me, having already given all my strength to Nash while I kept him alive on the way back to the harbor. Saylor appears on the other side of his bed, looking down at himself with a sad expression.
“Get right back in your body!” I yell at him, and he brings his sad eyes to mine.
“I don’t think that’s how this works, Boo.” He smiles sadly at me just as North, Hunter, and the doctor rush into the room with two nurses in tow.
“Help, please! He just flatlined,” I plead to the doctor, not stopping my compressions even though I feel them growing weaker, making me panic even more.
My body can’t give out on me now.
“Unfortunately, he has an advance directive for no resuscitation,” the doctor informs me.
My frantic eyes go from Saylor to North and Hunter, “What the fuck is she talking about? Help him!”
“It was seven years, Sloan,” North tells me softly, stepping up to my side. “We decided it was cruel to keep him alive when he could go.”
My eyes go wide, and I’m panting while I yell, “That was before you knew he was still here! Before you knew there was hope. Now you know. Undo it!”
Hunter puts his phone to his ear, and North places a hand on my shoulder, but I shrug it off.
I don’t need reassurance, I need fucking help.
“Fucking do something!” I yell at him.
“Our parents are the ones who would need to do that.” North glances at Hunter, who’s still holding the phone to his ear.
Even in my panicked state, I understand that there is nothing I can do about this, but I can keep pushing, keep pressing his chest, and try to get him back to me.
They won’t help him, but I won’t stop until he’s back.
“Boo,” Saylor whispers from the other side of the bed. My eyes come up to his as tears stream down my face. “It’s okay. You can let me go. I told you I’m not going to go anywhere. Nothing will change. You can keep me.”
“No,” I reply defiantly, returning to what I’m doing.
Hunter is speaking, but I can’t make out what he’s saying while concentrating on not faltering.
I will do this forever if I must.
“Maybe my purpose was to help you today, to make sure Hunter didn’t lose any more of his family after he gave up so much for me. Maybe that’s what was left for me to do. Maybe my time here is just up.” Saylor tries to calm me down, but all he does is agitate me more.
“No! No! You want a fucking purpose? I’ll give you one! Live for me, be my purpose, and let me be yours,” I scream at him, thetears blurring my vision, but I still see his expression crumble at my words.
“Slo, you know I would if I could.” Saylor’s voice trembles, tears glistening in his eyes now too. “I told you I want nothing more than to be with you.”
“You want to have a life with me? Kiss me? Hold me? Then fucking live for me!” I yell, my voice breaking with raw emotion.
North puts his hands on my shoulders to pull me away from Saylor, whispering a soft, “Blue.”
Everyone in this room has to think I’m crazy, but for once, I don’t give a flying fuck.
