Fuck.
I shake my head, trying to get his whispered words out of my thoughts.
Not the time, Sloan.
Never again.
North appears hurt, with confusion in his eyes as he tries to understand my reaction. “You’re not getting it?—”
I interrupt him, my anger flaring even brighter. “No,you’renot getting it. I don’t give a fuck about your money.”
Saylor shakes his head, clearly unimpressed with North’s actions. “Idiot.”
“You may not give a fuck about it…” North pleads, “… but you need it to fix your van or rent an apartment. Youneedmoney. I have money. You need help, and since you helped us, I want to help you.”
“You want to give me one hundred thousand dollars for helping your son?” I ask in disbelief, my voice laced with frustration.
Does he really think money is the way to thank me for that?
“Is it not enough? Fuck, you’re right… wait.” He pulls out his checkbook and a pen. “Tell me how much you need. You want to punish me? Take all I have. Hell, I’llgiveit to you,” he urges, writing down a number on the check withwaytoo many zeros.
I reach out and snatch his pen, setting it down on the table. “I don’t wantanymoney from you.”
North, despite my resistance, still doesn’t back down. “Okay, then here…” he reaches into his pants pocket and produces his car keys, “… take the car. You like it better than you like me, after all.”
His words trigger a flood of memories, and my heart aches with a dangerous mix of hurt and longing. “I don’t want your damn car either,” I spit out, a lump in my throat making it hard to swallow.
I’d love to drive a car like that, but not like this.
“Pulling out the big guns. The wrong ones, but the big ones still.” Saylor shrugs, not helping at all.
“What do you want then, Blue?” North pleads, his voice filled with desperation. “Name it, and I’ll give it to you. You want your job back? You have it! Want to have the guestroom in my house? It’s yours! The whole damn house? Take it! You can have everything I own because it means nothing if you look at me like that.”
“Like what?” I ask, my voice cold, my body trembling with pent-up emotions.
“Like I broke you,” North whispers softly, his face displaying a mix of regret and sorrow.
Saylor snorts, unimpressed with North’s dramatics. “Self-centered much?”
I scoff, my bitterness taking over. “Don’t overestimate yourself, North. I was broken long before I even met you. Nowleave.”
A few hours later,after saying goodbye to Mac, Tally, and Tim, who came to pick up his wife, Saylor and I make our way tothe van. I wave at them as they drive off, feeling a deep sense of relief.
All I want to do now is change out of these jeans and bury my face in my pillow. I’m not physically tired, but emotionally, I’m exhausted. It seems like this has become my permanent state now.
“We should do something fun,” Saylor suggests. “You only ever sleep and work. That’s not good for you, and it’s boring as hell. I bet you’re not tired anyway after you napped all day.”
I consider his words. “Sure, I’m down. What do you want to do? A little poker round?”
Saylor’s eyes light up. “Get ready to lose.”
I snicker as we round the van, only to stop in my tracks when I find North sitting on the cold asphalt, leaning against the side door, eyes closed. I contemplate just getting in through the driver’s door, leaving him sitting there. He’s obviously drunk, with an empty whiskey bottle laying on the ground beside him, his legs stretched out before him, and his suit as disheveled as the man wearing it.
“Holy Jesus,” Saylor breathes out as he spots North too.
I look up to the sky, taking a deep breath. “What have I done to deserve this?”
“Blue!” North slurs as he turns his head to look at me.
