Having the sword of Damocles not hanging over my head all the time anymore because it came down full force, parting me from them, shattering me, is a relief, even if it’s a painful one.
Walking away is the only act of self-preservation I have left. It’s a silent scream into the void, a declaration that I, too, am hurting, that I, too, need to heal.
It’s time for me to face my own demons, to heal my own wounds, and to learn to live for myself once more.
They proved that they’re not gonna help me with that.
So I stride past the men who have found their way into my heart over the last few weeks. Past the man who saved me over and over again, the one who made me feel less lonely, and the one who challenged me and pulled me out of my numb hole.
I don’t even look their way, my eyes focused on Saylor as I walk up to him and open the door of the hospital room, stepping out into the sterile hallway.
The door doesn’t even fall shut before I hear them push out of the room too, all three of them calling after me.
“Siren, wait!”
“Shortcake, please!”
“Blue!”
I don’t even turn or slow my brisk walk as Saylor and I make our way toward the exit, only putting up my finger and flipping them off over my shoulder.
“The crazy one is done with you.”
I still see you in every sunset, in every starry night.
ONE
The air iscrisp and heavy as I make my painfully slow way over the parking lot to my van. I can’t seem to muster the energy to walk any faster, although every fiber of my being screams at me to flee faster from the wreckage I just caused and the men I just left behind.
“Shortcake!” The desperation in Hunter’s voice claws at my back, but I don’t stop, trying hard to outpace my crumbling composure. I’m on the cusp of breaking, the tears threatening to breach the dam of my eyelids at any second.
I need to get to my van and drive far away to somewhere I can let the façade crumble,a safe place to fall apart.
“Sloan, for fuck’s sake, stop!” Hunter’s plea is raw. “You know I can’t keep up with this damn leg.” His voice is strained, and he’s panting as he tries to catch up.
“Just walk. You don’t owe him nothing,” Saylor urges, but I pause and turn to face Hunter.
Better to set the boundaries right now.
He attempts to close the distance, but I raise a hand, signaling him to stay where he is. Letting him come near me is dangerous, even though I want nothing more than to jump in hisarms and let him soothe me. “Sloan, please, I need you to talk to me,” he demands, his face twisted with guilt and desperation.
“No,” I retort, my voice steady, although I’m shaking with emotion. “You don’t get to demand anything from me. I expected nothing less from North. Nash will do whatever his thundercunt of a big brother wants because he needs to be part of your bond so badly. But you…” I pause, feeling the tears I wanted to keep in spill down my cheeks, and my voice breaks as I finish, “… youpromised.”
And I believed you.
Every single word.
“Sloan…” His voice falters, his eyes glistening with tears.
“I hope you have a wonderful life, Hunter. I really do. You deserve it. But I won’t be a part of it,” I whisper, my voice barely audible. I don’t dare speak up, or my words will come out as sobs.
I turn away, not risking another moment, and resume my walk to the van. The absence of footsteps behind me confirms he isn’t following. It feels like another dagger piercing my already shattered heart, even though a part of me knows it’s foolish to hope he would still chase after me when, deep down, I don’t even want him to.
The dream is over.
The inevitable happened.
Just a few more minutes, then I can fall apart.
