There’s a soft knock at my door, stirring me out of my thoughts and I nearly trip over my own two feet to open it.
When I pull the door open, Chase is standing there in a dark green t-shirt with a backward baseball hat perfectly placed on his head. His soft brown eyes are glued to me the second he sees me and his lips curve into the sweetest smile.
“Hi.” His chest exhales as he stands in the hallway.
I suck in a jagged breath. “Hi.”
We both stand there for a moment, stuck in a pause.
“Can I come in?” His jaw twitches as I nod my head and he pulls me gently toward his body. His arms wrap around me tightly as he steps into my apartment and I kick the door closed with my foot.
He doesn’t say anything as he hugs me, and usually that would prompt me to fill the silence. Say something to encourage a conversation. But all I need right now is to be in his arms. I squeeze him tightly, pulling his chest closer to mine until I hear the rumble of his chest and he pulls away slightly.
“God, I fucking missed that.”
My head tilts slightly before resting back on his chest as we still stand barely ten feet in my apartment. “Missed what?”
“Hugging you. Being hugged by you. It’s…” He stops himself, shaking his head, but I urge him to go on with a wide eye.
“What?” A childlike giggle leaving my chest.
“You hugged me before I left for college like you thought you’d never see me again.” He hums, pulling a piece of my hair between his fingers. “You do that. You hug people like it’s the last time you’ll get to hold them. Every tense feeling I have disappears when you hug me, Summer. Any stress or frustration, annoyance even. It’s like you fucking squeeze every bit of it out of me.” He laughs, slowly walking with his arm around me to the couch.
“Oh, the Chase hug.” I pull a pillow onto my lap as we both take a seat.
“What?”
“That’s how I hugyou.”
His forehead creases as he stretches an arm over the back of the couch.
“You’re going to think it’s silly…but—” I sigh, taking a deep breath. “You’ve always been so out of reach. You were always around, but never quite close enough. We saw each other almostdaily. And we talked often, but it was never… I don’t know, Chase. It was never enough for me. I always wanted more. A five second hug is all I could get and I took every second of it.”
“God, I’m sorry.” His eyes meet mine, shining like gold as he holds contact.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for. Honestly. I was a kid; you didn’t look at me as anything other than that. I can’t fault you for that.”
“Then at least let me apologize for the other day. I was a dick and didn’t need to be. I was pissed about fucking up my knee. I tried to tell myself that if I would have done more recovery on it and better workouts instead of spending time with you that it wouldn’t have happened. But that isn’t true. You were trying to help and I—”
“I forgive you,” I cut him off. I can see in his body language, in his eyes, how much this is bothering him. Even when I’ve made it clear that I’m not upset about it. “You know, we’re not so different, Chase.” I motion my fingers between us.
“Kincaid, we’re the definition of opposites.” He stretches his leg and lightly rubs his knee.
“On paper, sure. You’re boring and I’m a delight,” I joke, earning a laugh. “You think you’re a burden if you ask for help. You think that as long as the people around you are happy and fulfilled, that you don’t need to be. You show up looking like an absolute beast on the field, dripping in confidence, but when you’re one on one you show tenderness and vulnerability. I know Kristen made you feel like her leaving was your fault. I know you feel responsible in a way that CeCe is growing up without her. You’re lonely, but you don’t want anyone to know. You think you’ve become too hardened for someone to love you. You don’t want to let people in—and not just romantically, but in general—because people leave. And people die. And that part of life really sucks.” My eyes well up as I try to get the last bit out. “I’m alot like you, Chase. I’ve known it for years. But you just started getting to know me.”
“Not noticing you sooner is one of my biggest regrets. I promise you that.”
I wipe a lone tear that trickles down my cheek at the same time his hand reaches for my face, cupping my cheek in his warm hand.
“And I annoy you, I challenge you… I know that. I’m all over the place.”
“Then annoy me.” He moves closer. “Challenge me. Take me with you wherever you go, Kincaid. Because this—” He moves his hand down my cheek, toward my neck and onto my chest, stopping over my heart. “This is right. This is where I want to be.”
His lips press against mine in a soft, slow motion and warmth spreads through my body as I take his face in my hands.
“You love my daughter,” he says when he pulls away. “You’ve loved her since the moment she was born. All I’ve ever wanted is for her to be around people who love her. People who protect her. That she can rely on. People…womenshe can admire. For a long time, I thought what I was giving her was enough. But she always needed more. She needed you, Summer. And I need you. We both need you,” he says, grazing his fingers over the bracelet on my wrist. “I love you, Summer Rose.” His hand tucks a piece of hair behind my ear and he touches the tattoo on my skin there. “We both love you.”
“You have no idea how long I’ve wondered if I’d ever hear you say that,” I whisper with my face inches from his. “I’ve loved you since I was sixteen, Chase. I never stopped.” He pulls me toward him, planting a kiss on my lips and breathing life back into my chest. With each sweep of his tongue I can feel my heart growing ten sizes.
