I watch as CeCe places pictures she’s colored all around Summer’s apartment. Many of these I haven’t even seen before. She puts one on her coffee table, another on the TV stand and then I watch her place another one basically just in the middle of the floor. The last thing she pulls out of her purse is a string of beads and she reaches up, placing it next to the flowers.
“Okay.” She smiles, zipping her purse and walking toward me.
I take CeCe’s hand as we step out into the hallway, closing the door and locking it behind me.
Opening my eyes to everything wonderful that Summer is was a long time coming. I’m sure to everyone around me it was so fucking obvious. I just didn’t see it. I didn’t give her the chance. I missed it. People search their whole life looking for something I found two miles from where I grew up. Summer’s always been there. And I missed it once. I’m not missing it again.
Summer’s like that one random wildflower that starts to bloom surrounded by all the concrete on a sidewalk. She pops up, giving beauty and character among something that most people might deem ordinary. She took the shell of a man I was becoming and put some color back into my face. She brought joy into CeCe’s life.
She’s anything but ordinary.
“This is why I don’t listen to the radio,” I mumble to myself as I’m pulling into my parking spot after hearing the same ten songs on repeat all over different stations.
I had a quick Christmas dinner with my family today that I actually enjoyed. After dinner, my mom seemed genuinely interested in the fact that Chase and I were a couple. She asked me about his life and football, she asked about CeCe and my role with her. Ultimately, my role is to love her. I can do that as Chase’s girlfriend or even just as his friend. No matter what happens down the road between us, she’ll always know that. But I left my parents tonight feeling fulfilled, for the first time in a while, actually. It made me feel excited to eventually come back.
I rub my eyes as I’m walking down the hall to my apartment. It’s barely nine o’clock, but I’m completely spent. I ate so much food and then, of course, couldn’t leave without taking someleftovers home with me. Holiday leftovers are just different, sometimes they’re even better the next day.
When I walk into my apartment, I immediately laugh at my delusion. It smells like Chase and makes my head shake in annoyance at how quickly my mind wants to believe he’s here. I inhale deeply through my nose, laughing to myself again at how insane I probably look right now thinking I smell my boyfriend’s scent.
My overnight bag lands on my counter and I do a double take seeing a fresh bouquet of flowers with a note and a small bracelet next to it.
Bright red, pink, and purple flowers stick out of the vase and I walk closer, reaching for the letter. My chest instantly constricts.
Kincaid,
CeCe thought you’d like these flowers best. We miss you. I miss you. Let me know when you’re home safe so we can talk.
C
My eyes feel watery as I stare down at the note in his horrible handwriting. Next to the vase is a bracelet that CeCe must’ve made with the kit I bought her for Christmas. It has pink and yellow beads on it and then three letters together on the string. CSC. The tears that were pooling from his note bubble over onto the counter as I hold the bracelet in my hand and then slip it over my wrist.
I quickly tear through my purse to find my cell phone and head into my bedroom so I can text him. But something else inthe living room catches my eye. A drawing of three stick people sits on the coffee table. Two girls with yellow hair and a man with brown hair. That’s really all I can make out with everything else around it looking like giant blobs or just colored circles, but it’s my favorite drawing ever. I bring the piece of paper to my chest and notice two more as I’m walking to my bedroom. Both are pictures of unicorns that she colored. My hands feel like they’re shaking, but my breath nearly stops when I open my bedroom door and notice my nightstand.
Just in case you get home late and you’re tired.
The note is on top of my scrubs for tomorrow with some snacks sitting right beside it. I don’t waste another second before sending him a quick text.
Chase
Chase
Are you home yet?
I can’t believe you did all of this.
Chase
I’m on my way.
My hands cover my face as I stand there for a moment feeling so overwhelmed. I grab the water bottle from the nightstand to bring it to the refrigerator and when I open the door and see the groceries perfectly lined up I can’t help but laugh and then nearly cry again. I check my pantry and notice the labels are all forward facing on everything, too.
My head hangs in sheer disbelief that there’s someone who would take the time and effort to do something like this for me.
Chase didn’t have to do any of this. Hell, he probably shouldn’t have, considering I’m sure he’s still not supposed to be putting too much weight on his knee.
I can’t help but reminisce on how I got here. How I somehow went from being this girl who could never get it right. I was somehow always too much but also not enough for people. I wasn’t the girl that guys went the extra mile for. Not really, anyway. Most of the men I’ve dated in my adult life have gone on to find their wife after they broke up with me. Like I was a stepping stone. The fun before the commitment. I never in my wildest dreams thought I’d ever get a chance to show Chase that we could be more than friends. We got closer as we became adults. Life kept us in each other's circle and circumstances kept him as a constant person in my life. But it was always like the confidence I had with men didn’t translate with Chase. Over the course of the last month I feel like that’s changed. He’d neverseenme before. He never looked my way when I walked into a room or stared just as long, if not longer, than me.
I know he doesn’t want half ass people in CeCe’s life. He doesn’t want to have to question people’s loyalty or motives or whether or not they’ll let her down. I know for as long as he can he’ll want to protect her from all the bad stuff that life can bring. I know that trust and reliance are things that Chase struggles with still. But there isn’t a person in this world who can love either of them better than me. I’m sure of it.
