“No. It’s not happening again.”
“What? He kissed you knowing how you feel about him without the intention of doing it again? I’m going to kill him.”
“No, no. It wasn’t like that,” I assure Abby. “To tell you the truth, I understand where he’s coming from. Of course I want to keep kissing him, but we both just got swept up in the moment, in the atmosphere of no power and the middle of the night and rain outside. It was literally the perfect recipe for a midnight one-time kiss. If this would’ve happened at sixteen, or twenty, even… then yeah, I would’ve been upset, I think. But sometimes, a kiss is just a kiss and doesn’t mean there’s going to be more.”
“Blink twice if you’re secretly hooking up.”
“Mia!” Abby says through a laugh.
“What? I don’t believe for one second that they’re just never going to kiss again.”
“We did talk about the kiss. He told me he wanted to kiss me again, but doesn’t want himself to kiss me.” I chuckle. “He did admit that, at least. But he laid out his reasons why hecan’t.” Isigh. “I don’t know, but Chase is one person I never want to force things with.”
Mia scoffs and reaches for the door knob when we all leave her room. “Yeah, but… ugh, you’resupposedto end up together.”
There’s a thrill that feels like it’s running rampant through my body when I wake up this morning. My bed is cozy and warm, the blinds are closed, but a small speck of sunlight is peeking through casting just the right amount of light across my bedspread.
It’s been weeks since Chase and I have kissed. Weeks since I got to experience everything I ever dreamed of since I was a teenager. A first kiss is often full of awkwardness and hesitations, too much overthinking and uncertainty. But with Chase it felt like home. His embrace felt like something I’d been wrapped up in long before our kiss. It wasn’t any of those things that a first kiss can often be and I can’t help but wonder if he also felt like that with me, too.
We’ve worked out a pretty good schedule in the last few weeks with me helping with CeCe a few times a week and then Abby helping when she’s available. There’s only a couple more months left in the season—if they make the playoffs, that is. Otherwise, this will be over after Christmas. I can’t see that being the case, though. Despite the fact that the team isn’t playing great, I don’t think I’ve ever seen them end a season after the regular season. There’s always been playoffs.
As I stand in front of the mirror in my bathroom getting ready, I take an extra second to stare at my body clothed in only a bra and underwear.
So it might look a little more pear shaped than before, and I may desperately need some sunshine to put some color on my pale skin, but there’s still so much to love about what I see. The roundness of my face is where endless smiles take place for little kids who need them. My arms that feel a bit flappier have helped countless people in and out of beds and wheelchairs. My hips take up more space than I remember this time last year, but the curves onmybody show young girls that it’s okay to have them ontheirs.
“Where are the mashed potatoes?” Liam’s voice is the first thing I hear when I walk into Nate and Mia’s for Friendsgiving this afternoon.
CeCe—along with Nate and Mia’s twin boys—is in the living room with the television on and tons of toys scattered around the room. I can see straight through giant sliding glass doors to the deck out back and spot Ford, Chase, and Nate all seated around a table. Liam’s voice still carries through from the kitchen where it sounds like he’s making Abby and Mia crazy with questions and opinions on things.
“Can you just go outside?” Mia finally snaps, playfully pushing his arm out of her way.
“Hello,” I say as I’m walking in and Mia’s giving me aget him out of here lookwhen I put my bag down.
“Add pecans on top of that.” Liam points as I grab his arm, pulling him with me.
“It’s Mia’s first time hosting this, leave her alone and let her do it. She’s excited and you’re stressing her out.” I open the door as Liam laughs.
“Yeah, you know. I realized I went too far when I told her the turkey needed more thyme on the top.”
My eyes roll, and I practically shove Liam’s giant frame through the door, closing it behind him. But before I turn back around to the kitchen, a pair of light brown eyes latch onto me.
And Chase stares at me like I’m the main course and he wants nothing more than to dive in.
Summer’s ring covered fingers toss Liam out like an old rag on the deck, and I’m glued to the light green dress shaping her figure. It loosens along her hips and flows down to just above her ankles, but the top is open exposing her collarbones as it hangs off her shoulders. Her lips part slightly when her gaze catches mine, but she quickly gives me a friendly smile before turning around and walking away. Lately, she’s the one who’s much more eager to break any eye contact we make, something that feels so ass backward from what I’ve always known.
“So that’s why the whole patch of grass needs to be dug up and we’ll just replace it with rubber mulch or something easy for the kids,” Nate says, and I’ve completely forgotten what the hell we were talking about.
“Swing sets are a bitch to put together, though. Are you going to hire someone?” Ford asks.
“Yeah, all of you. Pizza and beer as the compensation.” Nate tips his glass of iced tea in our direction, and Ford laughs louder than necessary.
Abby walks outside with a tray of appetizers, placing them in the center of the table as six little feet follow her outside and their grabby hands reach for the chips and cheese.
“Don’t fill up on this stuff, though. Mia has made a whole spread in there, and you allwilleat it.”
Mia insisted on doing the Friendsgiving cooking this year. Nate said he tried to have everyone bring a dish, like a potluck, rather than having his pregnant wife do all of the cooking but I guess she was adamant.
“Even if something sucks, you eat it,” Nate adds on to Abby’s comment.
