I exhale a deep breath. “You can drive me to Hannah’s so I can give her this box, but please don’t mention any of this to her. I don’t need her to have more of a reason to hate him.”
My fist bangs on the door of my sister’s apartment, hard and repeatedly, until I hear her yell from the other side that she’s coming. I didn’t tell her I was stopping by; she probably would’ve ignored my call anyway.
“What are you doing here? And why is he here?” Hannah asks as she opens the door. Her hand gestures up to Nate standing beside me like a vicious guard dog. Her fingers grip the corner of the door like she’s hesitant to open it all the way.
“Always a pleasure to see you too, Hannah,” Nate says with an overly exaggerated smile that makes him look like an absolute sociopath.
Hannah and I could pass for twins. She’s two years younger than me, but all of our dark features are the same. Her brown hair hangs over one shoulder as it’s spilling out of a ponytail. She looks like she hasn’t slept in weeks. Not sure what could be keeping her awake at night though, it’s not like she has a thousand things she’s worrying about constantly. I made sure of that. Hannah has never had to worry about a thing.
“These things were at dad’s, I thought you should have them,” I say, passing the box off to her and trying to muster up a smile as a peace offering.
“Did he die?” she asks coldly, her hair falling into her face as she leans forward, peeking into the box.
“What? Of course not. I was at his apartment… These things are yours. God, Hannah what the hell?”
Nate and I are still standing in her doorway like we’re unwanted salespeople. Hannah doesn’t have the commondecency to invite us in, but it’s probably better this way. Just drop the things off and leave.
I’ve had a hard time accepting the way my relationship is with my sister. I’ve tried, against my better judgment, to accommodate her, to go out of my way to be there for her and do things for her, but it’s never enough. She barely talks to me when we are in the same room. Her snarky comments and uninterested attitude make it hard to even be around her lately. I wish we were closer. When we were younger, she was at my side for everything. And one day, that just stopped.
“Oh. Okay.” She turns to shut the door, but Nate’s hand stops her.
“You can thank your sister for coming all the way over here to drop this stuff off to you. She could have tossed it all in the fucking trash. I know I would have.” Even when Nate has his own battles he’s facing, he’s never shied away from helping me with mine—even if they are incredibly less important than his.
Hannah rolls her eyes at Nate. “I probably will,” she says, swinging the door closed.
I’m completely shocked as I stand there in her doorway. The lock clicks after she closes the door in my face, and I’m dumbfounded by her reaction and that whole interaction. She’s so goddamn enraging and downright embarrassing. My jaw hangs as I look up at Nate shaking his head.
“You okay?” Nate questions as we walk back to his truck. “I hate that she fucking talks to you like that. Just know if she was a guy, I would’ve knocked her teeth in.”
A small laugh roars in my chest and I get in the passenger seat of Nate’s truck.
“I think it’s time I just really start taking Hannah for who she is and accepting it. I have to stop hoping that she’s going to change and just accept that she hates me. The worst part is, Idon’t even know why.” I stare out of the window as we drive back towards downtown.
“It’s her fucking loss, Mi. You know that, right? It’s her loss. Just like your mom. It’s their loss. Anyone who doesn’t see what a treasure you are has no right being a part of your life.” Nate reaches over the center console and squeezes my hand before whipping the truck around and my right hand instinctively braces the door.
“Where are we going?” The sleeve of my old NWU sweater is covered in snot and I look like hell, so a public outing really isn’t something I want at the moment.
“You need a milkshake.” He looks over and smiles at me, still squeezing my hand and for a moment, I just feel… relief.
I’ve had this fair idea planned all week. Something fun, lighthearted, an outing that I know will bring a smile to Nate’s face, so I’m not going to let my current situation in my personal life deter us from having fun tonight.
“The state fair? Fuck, I love you, Smalls.” Nate pumps his fist as I hand him the wrist band for our outing tonight. I lucked out that the fair is in town this week, and I know how much of a kid Nate feels like when he gets to ride those rinky-dink carnival rides and eat elephant ears for dinner.
“Bumper cars first. Come on, come on!” he shouts as we’re walking up to the gate to get in.
“Okay, my little legs are going as fast as they can.” I jog up beside him and he grabs my hand, pulling me up to him. I swear I’m looking at a seven-year-old in a twenty-seven-year old man’s body right now.
The happiness burning off Nate tonight is hard to ignore. He’s having fun, he’s cracking jokes, he’s talking to me about everything and anything. It feels so good seeing him like this. I’m no magician, I know this isn’t the fix to all of his problems. But between the river and this, it’s a start. It’s a place where he doesn’t have to be ‘on,’ he doesn’t have people commenting on everything he’s doing. No one is sitting there with a stats sheet telling him he went left when he should have gone right. I think the road trip is also going to help him a lot too. Being back with his family will bring a sense of comfort to him that I think he’s been missing for a while.
“Can we get on the Ferris wheel now? I’ve asked you thrice.” Nate stands in front of me, towering me. His blue eyes shining in the carnival lights all around us.
“I’m not a heights person, you know that. They freak me out.”
He pulls both of my hands into his. “Mia, if you think I’d ever let anything happen to you, then you must not know me at all. Come on, please.” He squeezes my hands and I cave to the sincerity of his words as he leads me to the line.
“I think I’m going to pass out. Vomit first, then pass out.” I’m gripping Nate’s arm like my life depends on it, and frankly, right now in my mind it does.
“Open your eyes, Mi.” His voice is softer, strong and low, but soft.
