“I’m staying at your apartment tonight. I’ll take the couch, it’s fine, but I’m not leaving you alone.”
“I’ll be fine, Mi. I promise.”
She’s already walking me to my truck and grabs my keys from my hand, hitting the remote start button on it as soon as we’re in range.
“And you aren’t driving my truck,” I add.
She gives me an unamused look as we approach the driver’s side.
“I wasn’t planning on driving, and also, it’s not up for debate. I’m staying over.” Her voice is soft and sincere, calming, but with a hint of authority. It’s what I need to hear right now. I just need to be surrounded by the sweet and soft voice of Mia.
She hops in the passenger seat and I put the truck in drive to get us back to my apartment. She’s not sleeping on the couch. She can have the bed, I’ll make it work on the couch if I have to, or we can try to share the bed, even though that’s something we’ve never actually done.
The truck is silent the entire drive. Mia doesn’t put on music, she doesn’t start a conversation, she just sits there, checking on me out of the corner of her eye every few seconds. I’m tempted to tell her to stop, but I know that’ll be a losing battle. Mia’s a helper to her core, it’s just who she is. She’s also stubborn as fuck, so telling her to do something that she doesn’t want to do is useless.
“Hi, Henny,” Mia greets Hendrix as we walk in and she grabs his leash, taking him out for a quick bathroom break in the dog park within my complex.
Having a few moments to myself, I hop in the shower. The warm water rolls down my back and I wince at the way my chest aches from the hit I took. A hit I needed though. My phone’s been blowing up for the last hour and I haven’t had the energy to check it. I didn’t say anything to the guys when I left the lockerroom, I just went right into the coach's office and then left the stadium. I glance at the mirror filling with condensation, and the Post-it note from Mia with a giant smiley face on it stands out. She left it there on my birthday three years ago and I never took it down. It’s way at the top, so I’m sure she had to climb on top of the counter to even get it there. It was one of twenty-four she put all around my apartment on my 24th birthday.
Mia’s always been the person who goes above and beyond, does the little things that most people would overlook, she pays attention to details and remembers even the smallest things about people. She texts my mom every time she hears a Celine Dion song because my mom mentioned one time how much she loves her. Just little things like that, it all reminds me why Mia’s my best friend and the best person I know. I have no desire to see or hear from anyone right now, except for her.
I hear the front door close and take that as my cue to turn off the water and get out. Mia’s standing in my kitchen, mashing up bananas and the oven is preheating as I walk out, drying my hair with a towel.
“Banana bread with walnuts and chocolate chips?” Hendrix wags his tail at Mia’s feet as I approach them both.
“As if there’s any other way to make banana bread.” She smiles, pouring a hefty amount of chocolate chips into the mixture.
“So, do you want to talk?” Her demeanor shifts once she places the bread in the oven and sets a timer. She pulls her hair up into a scrunchie and takes a seat on the loveseat across from me.
“I told Coach I need a break. I don’t know for how long, but there’s something going on, and I need to figure out how to control it before it destroys me. I thought I could handle it by just hiding it or running for my life every morning to try and sweat it out, but I’m going to have to face it and find a way tomanage it. So I’m taking a leave of absence from the team. They can’t have me out on that field when I know my mind isn’t right, my body isn’t right. I thought I could handle it, Mi… but I can’t. I’m just afraid it’s going to ruin me.” My hands run down my face and then I feel a hand on my thigh as Mia takes a seat next to me.
“Then we’ll figure this out.” Her tone is sure and sharp, like she’s already in problem solving mode. “Being afraid of something is usually all the more reason to face it. You’re tough and resilient, you know you belong on that field. Let me help you get back there.” She nestles her body closer to mine and I nod my head against her, wrapping my arms around her. Holding Mia like this feels… right. Like she’s just supposed to be right here, right now, and maybe always.
Texts from the guys have been sitting unread on my phone since I got home. I’ll want to talk to them about all of this eventually, at least give them some type of explanation, but I just don’t even know what to say.
Ford
Coach addressed the team. Nothing specific, but said you were taking some time. Here if you need anything, man.
Liam
We’re just a phone call away. Call anytime.
Chase
Prayers, man. Let me know how I can help.
Liam
Let Mia be there for you.
And I don’t mean that in any way other than let her help.
I know I lucked out when it comes to the people in my life, because fuck, I don’t always deserve all of their grace but they sure do show it.
“Abby texted me, they’re all thinking of you.” Mia places her phone down at the same time that I do.
“I don’t even know what the fuck to say to the guys. I let them down.”
