“Hey pretty girl,” he murmurs softly.
“You said you’re allergic to cats,” I point out, my tone light.
“I am,” he says, looking up at me from where he’s still bent over, petting the top of her head.
Cordelia closes her eyes and lifts her head for more contact.
“But I’m not going to ignore her, am I?”
“If you say so.” A smirk tugs at my mouth as a silence settles between us.
Jett stands now and lifts our bags off the floor to take them into my bedroom next to the kitchen. By the time he comes back out, I’ve filled the kettle to make some tea.
He settles in on the couch as if this isn’t the first time he’s made himself at home here.
Once I flick the kettle on, I come to sit next to him. My couch is so much tinier than his, and I have to tuck my legs up if I don’t want to touch him. I don’t think I could handle touching Jett after the way I thought about him last night when I… touched myself. Just a graze of his skin against mine would set me ablaze.
My cheeks heat just thinking about it.
“You sure got raked over the coals today,” I say, hoping to take my mind off the memory.
“Those teens are nothing like the reporters I face at press conferences,” he chuckles.
I nod in agreement. Now I know first-hand how ruthlessthey can be.
“You were a lot more candid with them than you ever are with reporters,” I point out.
Jett turns to look at me now, his dark eyes pinning me. Not because of how intense they are, but for the fact that I want to bask in the warmth of his attention forever.
“I didn’t see a reason not to be,” he says. “You’ve softened me, Pops.”
“You said you were lonely. Is that true?” I ask.
It’s not the first time I considered that Jett has been changing before my very eyes. Letting me see a part of him that he never shows the world. But he’s been letting more people see the softer sides of him, too.
“Obviously I led afunlifestyle,” he replies with a shrug. He glances down into his lap, though. Not as nonchalant about the whole thing as he’d like to let on. “But it was starting to feel empty. I keep thinking about what you said, about wanting people to love you for who you really are. I’m not so sureIknow who I am anymore. But I think I’m starting to figure it out.”
“Do you think you might want a happily ever after, after all?” A spark flickers to life within me, a feeling I can’t make sense of. A feeling of excitement thinking Jett might want the same things as me. A happy ending I’ve only just started to let myself believe in again.
“Don’t go crazy, Pops,” Jett cautions, and the spark snuffs out. “I don’t know yet. Happy endings are scary. You set yourself up for a lot of loss and pain. I was young when my mom died, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t understand how her loss impacted everyone around me. My dad lost his soul mate, and he was never the same. Happily ever after is only happyfor now. It always ends somehow.”
My chest aches at the realization that Jett doesn’t avoid relationships because he doesn’t feel anything, he avoids them because he’sscared.
“That’s kind of the point, isn’t it? If it never ended, you wouldn’t appreciate what you have. It’s the knowing that nothing lasts forever that gives it meaning. Take my illness for example. I wouldn’t appreciate the good days without the bad ones. No rain, no flowers.”
Jett contemplates my answer for a moment, his mouth forming a tight line. Then, his expression shifts, like the very discussion of it is too heavy and he doesn’t want to hold it.
“I just think life is too short to be sad. Don’t get me wrong, I’m getting tired of the way things have been, never getting attached at all. I just don’t know what it means yet.”
I force a lighthearted smile.
“I won’t bother asking you what I was going to ask you, then,” I say, redirecting the conversation to something lighter, something that has been taking over every one of my thoughts. “Now that I know you’re not interested in meaningless sex.”
Somewhere between the other night and now, I’ve decided that if Jett is going to teach me about dating, I want him to teach me aboutallof it. He’s the safe choice for this kind of endeavour. Wren said so herself. No feelings. No strings.
But my palms sweat, because that means asking Jett Landry if he would take my virginity.
“You were going to ask me for meaningless sex?” Jett’s expression is shocked, but all I can think about is the slight part in his plush lips. The way I could lean over and kiss him right now. “That doesn’t sound like the Poppy I know.The Poppy I know blushed at the mention of masturbation.”
