The morning sun was shining through the front window as I shuffled around the kitchen. The coffee pot bubbled in the corner as its aroma filled the space around the three of us. I listened as Lennon talked to her sister about her plans for the upcoming week, and it was in this moment I realized what I wanted was to be doingthis every weekend. Every day. Any chance she’d allow, I wanted to be by her side.
It was easy and comforting, in a way. It was what all my deep-seated dreams were made of and I would give anything to prove to her that this, us, could work. I liked moving about her house, taking care of her. I liked hearing her laugh with her sister and the way she devoured the pancakes I placed in front of them. By the end of breakfast, I felt lighter than I ever had. This was what I wanted. I wanted a life with her.
I cleaned up the mess in the kitchen after I shooed Lennon away from the kitchen. She reluctantly left, leaving me alone with Abby.
“You should tell her,” Abby commanded, and my hands stilled in the soapy water. “You have real feelings for her, Theo. You wouldn’t have come back if you didn’t. You might think she knows or that maybe she’ll figure it out, but she needs to hear it. You know this about her.” My jaw tenses, grinding my molars together. “She’s not ready, Abby.”
“Says who?” she said firmly. Her eyes narrowed while redness bloomed on the tops of cheeks. “Let her decide for herself.” She didn’t wait for me to respond before she stood from the island top and stalked to the entryway. Her hand hovered over the door handle before turning back to me. “She’s not as fragile as you might think, and I promise it will be worth it.” She yanked the door open and disappeared out of the house.
Once the last of the dishes had been put away, I went to find Lennon. The living room was empty as I moved toward the backyard, until I caught a glimpse of her. She was sitting on the edgeof the pool, dipping her legs into the water. I pulled the sliding glass door open, and her head snapped up as the sound caught her attention. She gave me a small smile as I kicked off my shoes and sat down beside her. The water was cool against my skin, but it did nothing to quench the fire that started up every time I was close to her.
A soft sigh escaped from her chest. “It didn’t go well last night. The date,” she said as she lazily kicked her feet back and forth in the pool. We watched the ripples expand across the water’s surface for a few moments.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, not really.”
“Okay, Lenny.” I loved the way she smiled at the sound of her name on my lips.
The summer sun was beating down on my back, sweat began building under my shirt and dripped down my back.My head tilted backward to meet the sun’s rays as I closed my eyes. Abby said she needed to hear the words, and even though my stomach twisted in knots at the thought, I knew she was right.
“You know, I used to think of you like a sunny day.”
She scoffed at me. “Used to?”
“Yeah, used to. I always only saw what you wanted me to see, the happiness in you, even when you were sad. But now… you are so much more than just one thing, Lenny. You are captivating and moody and passionate and so perfectly you. I have seen more sides of you since Scotland than I ever let myself imagine, and now that I have the whole picture, I only seem to want more of you.”
I didn’t look at her, I couldn’t, but there was a sharp inhale from her.
“We all have cloudy days, Lenny, and just because you can’t always see the Sun doesn’t mean that it’s not there.”
It was quiet except for the cars honking in the distance and the children playing in the summer sun around her neighborhood. I started thinking that maybe it was too much or too real of a sentiment for her. I could be entirely on my own in my feelings, and this was the tipping point where she would tell me and would send me away.
“What if there’s more rain and clouds than sun? What if it gets to be too much for you and you drown in my downpour?” she whispered in a shaky voice. “What if I ruin you?” The quiet words tortured parts of my heart, the parts that always belonged to her.
There was no end to the amount of time I would spend waiting for Lennon. Even if it meant waiting for another lifetime entirely. She was worth every second of the constant state of longing I was in. I took her hand in between mine and held it for a moment. My thumb skimmed across the soft flesh before I replied.
“I’m not a fair weather type of man. Whatever comes, I will be right here with you. With an umbrella or a life vest, it doesn’t matter because no amount of rain could ever keep me from you,” I said, and there would never be words more true than those.
“How do you do that, Theodore?”
“Do what?”
“Make me feel like…” she trailed off, but her eyes searched my face as she looked for the answer.
This should be the moment I told her. Told her everything about why I left or the fact I never stopped caring for her. At the very least, I should have asked her out on an actual date. Before I could form the words, she’d turned back toward the pool. A second passed and her head came to rest on my shoulder. The heat of the sun felt cool in comparison to her body pressed into mine. It seemed unimaginable that there would ever be a time where she didn’t set my world on fire, but I welcomed the inferno, even if it meant I’d burn. Nothing else mattered because this moment—here with her—was enough.
twenty-one
Theo
My chair tilted backfrom my desk as I stretched my arms out in front of me. The glow of my computer screen was the only thing illuminating the dark room. I took a day trip to Preston Castle earlier, since the site was only a just under an hour from Fairvale and had returned home well after dinner.
My eyes were bleary, and they burned as I dug my palms into the sockets. The pictures started to morph into shapeless blobs about an hour ago, but I’d been pushing through in order to submit them to Archie for the upcoming deadline. Glancing at the clock, my stomach growled, reminding me I also hadn’t eaten in hours.
Pushing away from the desk, I set out to find my keys. It was only eight o’clock, and there was bound to be a taco truck set up in some parking lot close by. It took me about ten minutes to find a spot, and I silently thanked America’s need for food at any timeof day. The line was about five people deep as I waited to give my order.
My thumb swiped up on my phone as I scrolled through my emails when someone shouted my name. My head popped up, and I scanned the parking lot, looking for the source of the call, when my eyes landed on Abby and a blonde woman walking toward me as she lifted her hand up in a wave.
