Lennon had been acting weird, or weirder than normal, all week, and it was putting me on edge. She suddenly burst through my bedroom door and had all but shoved a gift onto my lap. She sat by my side as I began to unwrap the present, her body buzzed with excitement next to me. When I pulled the final piece of tissue paper out and my eyes snapped to hers as she watched me with careful eyes, chewing on her bottom lip.
“What did you do, Lenny?” I whispered as I carefully removed the camera from the box, cradling it like it was a newborn.
Lennon and I had been wanderingdown Main Street one day when I saw it sitting in thewindowof one of the consignment stores and I knew I wanted it. No rhyme or reason, but it felt like it was calling to me.Forthelast six months, I puteverydollar I earned aside to saveupfor a Pentax 67 camera; it was all I talked about.
It was the most expensive item someone had ever given me outside of my parents, and it all started to make sense. Lennon picking up extra shifts, the odd jobs I would find her doing when calling to see if she could hang out. She had been saving just as I had been, to purchase something that I had desperatelywanted.
Tears pricked my eyes as I pulled her in close and wrapped her in my arms. I buried my face inher curls, breathing deep in an attempt to control my emotions.
“Thank you,” I said, as my voice cracked with emotion.
I came back to the forgotten camera, turning it over in my hands, still in utter disbelief that this wasactually mine. Standing from the bed, I placed it on my shelf not wanting to accidentally break it and turned to see her lay back on the bed. Her wild curls fanned out around her head as she smiled up at me. She was beautiful, and she was mine.
There was no way I could ever repay her for this, but I knew I would spend my life trying to.
I crawled over her body and peered down at her, sweeping my eyes over her face. “One day, I’ll take you all over the world. I’ll get to take photos while you explore all those castles you like.” For whatever reason, it was all she talked about, castles and fairytales. We spent more time watching happily ever after movies than anything else.
“You’d do that for me?” she asked. She pulled me down to her and held me tight, and I spoke the only words that meant something to either of us.
“Anything for you.”
I brought my focus back to my task, thinking of the memory. That one phrase had been everything to the both of us at one point. I told her I’d do anything for her before I told her I loved her. Notmuch sooner, but it did come first.
It was a simple phrase that we would exchange, and often it outweighed a declaration of love. For us, 'I love you' was a given—the words resonated every day. But it was the abundance of sheer devotion we shared that morphed into the phrase 'anything for you'. Simple, but everything to us. To me.
The Lennon I remembered was like a bright summer morning—she radiated happiness and warmth. I sought any excuse to be near her, anything that would allow me to bask in her rays of light. She was the sun and the center of everything I was. Seeing her today was like waking up and realizing my dreams of her have only kept me halfway satisfied.
Turned out everything I thought I remembered, I had forgotten. Like the precise shade of blue her eyes were in the morning or the way the wind would tinge her cheeks a dark pink when it’s cold. If I had remembered everything, I don't think I could've stayed away from her for so long.
Years passed us, but I had always kept her close in some way or another. Not in a creepy, I’m stalking you type of way, but social media made it so simple to keep up with someone’s life when you’re stuck on the outside.
The rest of the afternoon seemed to drag on. It was odd the amount of emotions that swirled inside of me as I walked through the city to meet Lennon for dinner. Excitement at being able to lay my eyes on her again, fear of maybe having nothing in common with her at this stage in our lives, and this dinner ended up beingthe last that I’d see her. I’d be lying if I didn’t mention the desire that sat at the base of my heart.
The one that surprised me the most, though, was the guilt. I knew that she was married and that her husband had died only a couple of years ago. The way her eyes dulled when I asked who she was here with wasn’t lost on me, but I saw an opportunity to spend more time with her and I took it without a second thought. It was selfish, but worth the risk.
It was that thought that had my stomach churning as I waited in front of the restaurant for her. Being early was a mistake; every minute that passed, doubt began to creep in that she wouldn’t show or that maybe I hallucinated her this morning.
I was a few moments away from scheduling a doctor’s visit to have my head checked when I saw her. She powered her way down the street, her face set with determination as she weaved in and out of people. God, she was breathtaking. Her dark hair fell in waves around her face and down the white sweater she wore. And the jeans, even from a distance, I could tell that they are practically molded to her legs.
I gulped down the nerves, the sudden lust and the indescribable feeling that this was the first day of the rest of my life.
Catching her line of sight snapped me out of the haze that was spreading through my head from the sudden onset of too many emotions. I popped off the wall I was leaning against to meet her as she crossed the street.
“You came. I was beginning to think I had conjured you up like a dream this morning.” I tried to cover the relief in my voice, andit was nice to see the way her body relaxed once she was standing in front of me. Then she smiled, and I knew I was already willing putty in her hands.
“Not a dream, just me, Theodore.”
There was a sudden urge to tell her that they were one and the same, but I bit back the words. I was trying not to be a creep and that, while true, would toe the line.
She turned her head towards the restaurant and her eyes widened slightly at the signage. If I knew one thing about Lennon that would never change, it was that she loved pizza. The second the question left my mouth this morning to ask her to dinner, I knew exactly where to take her.
“Oh, they have pizza,” she exclaimed.
“Some things never change, do they?” I smirked as Lennon rolled her eyes, and we walked into the restaurant and the waitress led us to our table.
Lennon rocked from side to side in her seat before she peered over her menu at me. Her eyes roamed over my face, the small movement sent flames up my spine. I would've given anything to know what was going through her head.
Was she nervous? Did she wish she never said yes to dinner?Maybe she was picking out the differences that time notched in my face. A small smile pulled at the corner of her lips as a wistful sigh escaped her mouth.
