“No.” I turn her around, see the tears in her eyes. “No. You’ll never lose me. I just…want him. I need him.” I don’t want to waste one moment of my time with him because there’s still a part of me that expects to lose him.
“You’re in love,” she says.
I nod. “So fucking in love.”
She wipes at her tears. “That’s good. Don’t believe in it myself, but I’m happy for you. I know I’m a fuckup, Shai. The best thing I could have done for you was give you up, but I kept you, and I know that ruined your life—”
“No,” I cut her off. “I wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere but with you.” And as shitty as my life has been, that’s true. No matter what, I love her, and I always will.
“I’m glad you’re happy.” She finishes drying her tears, pretending she’s unaffected. “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. I’ll always be fine.”
“Mom, I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving you. This is normal, right? Isn’t this what children and parents do? I’m supposed to meet someone and spend more time with them.” But then, I’ve never really had normal, so what do I know?
“It is.” She smiles, but something in her expression tells me she doesn’t believe me. “It’s normal.”
“I’m serious.”
“Pack your stuff. Go home to your guy. He’s really hot. I’m jealous.”
I roll my eyes but crack a small grin. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Shai.”
Mom slips out of my room, I pack some things, and then, like the shitty son I am, I leave. When Ollie asks me if we’re going shopping, I tell him I’ll order the food online and have it delivered. I’m scared if I see her, I won’t have the guts to leave.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Rory
We’re outside TheDove. Axel, apparently, has found himself an extra side-gig—running guns through the hotel, which we never agreed to let him do. Everything he does needs to go through us, and he owes us a percentage of his profit, so this new venture means he’s stealing money from us. That shit doesn’t fly. He should know better by now.
“I can’t believe this motherfucker thinks he can pull one over on us.” Cillian releases the magazine from his gun, studies it, then slides it back into place.
“Do we get to kill him?” I ask, leg bouncing. Cillian reaches over and puts his hand on my thigh, the two of us in the back seat, Tiernan and Dean in the front.
“You can have him,” Tiernan tells me—a concession because of our conversation earlier. I fucking hate what he told me, but I get it. If there’s one thing I’m not delusional about, it’s my lack of control, or the fact that if anyone even looks at Shai wrong, I’m killing them. Slowly. Huh. I guess that’s two things.
“Thank fuck,” I say, checking my gun.
We went to Boston earlier today, dealt with some shit there and had a meeting with Conan and Rian. Conan isn’t a social person, yet somehow he knows everyone and has eyesand ears everywhere. He’s the one who heard about the shit Axel has going on, and after a lecture from Daddy Rian about us getting our shit together and watching Axel better, he let us go back to Ashford.
It’s evening now, and while in any other situation we’d wait until later for something like this, it’s The Dove, so we don’t have the same concerns here we might have somewhere else.
“Just don’t kill him right away. I need to fucking talk to him first,” Tiernan orders.
“Ugh. I hate it when we have to talk to them first. It’s so boring.”
Dean laughs, Tiernan cocking a brow at him like,Jesus, not you too.
“I just want to fuck shit up and go home,” Dean says.
“Of course you do.” Cillian laughs.
“Kill the fucking cameras,” Tiernan orders, and Dean pulls out his laptop and gets to work. It’s wild the shit he knows how to do. He doesn’t seem the type who’d know computers as well as he does, but his skill has definitely come in handy.
Dean does whatever the fuck he needs to do, hacking into their system, and then slams the laptop closed. “Fucking amateurs.”
Tiernan pulls out from where he parked, having kept his car hidden. It makes me wonder if this is where Shai parked the night he held his gun in my face and threatened me. Hell, that’s probably the night I fucking fell for him. My dick stirs just thinking about it.
