“Here, I’ll take that bag for you,” Moira says, and I hand it over. “Why don’t you boys get to know each other while I make dinner. After we eat, we’ll bring some over to your mom. How does that sound?”
“I tried to cook, but I burned myself. What do you have to eat? I like cereal. And candy. Do you have a TV? I like video games too.”
She chuckles. “You can have cereal for breakfast. We’ll have something with a little more sustenance for dinner. Where did you burn yourself?”
I show her, and she leads me into the bathroom, where she puts cream and a bandage on it, Cillian watching from the doorway. She tells us we can play now, then leaves us to it.
“What do you want to do?” Cillian asks.
Nothing. Everything. How am I supposed to know?
This boy is weird…and nice. I should want to throw rocks at him too, but I don’t.
“What do you like to do with your other friends?” he asks.
I eye him, refusing to look away, not wanting him to think I care. “I don’t have friends.”
“None?”
“Never and I don’t need them.”
Angry for a reason I don’t understand, I turn and walk away. I sit on the couch, arms crossed, determined not to wantto talk to him—this boy who has friends and parents who are nice and who is nice to me.
I’m surprised when he sits beside me. “I’ll be your friend.”
“What if I don’t want you to?” But I do. I want it so much.
“Too bad. I’ve already decided I am.”
And he does become my friend.
He introduces me to Tiernan and Aislin. They’re his cousins. I don’t have any of those, but eventually they feel like they’re my cousins too.
Moira gets my mom out of bed and gets me enrolled in school. She tells the people there to put me in Cillian’s class, and they do, just like that.
Any time I don’t act right, when I don’t do the things the other kids do, I watch Cillian, learn from him, try to copy his behavior. When I get in trouble in class, when the teachers get mad because I go through all the kids’ cubbies or make a mess in the room, Cillian helps. When I can’t control my anger or do bad things I know I’m not supposed to do, Cillian helps with that too.
I feel guilty when I stay at his house too much, leaving my mom alone. Moira, along with Tiernan’s mom, Fia, try to be friends with Mom, but it’s not always easy to get her out of bed. My mom gets mean to them when they try, and that makes me mad at my mom. I don’t want to be mad at her.
Sometimes I’m out of control, and when the school sends notes to my parents because I’m fighting or causing trouble, Moira or Fia handle that.
And when I get lost, sad like my mom or wild like my dad, it’s Cillian who settles me down—talking to me, playing the piano for me, being my friend. My person.
CHAPTER ONE
Rory
Thanksgiving
Third year at Ashford
Sometimes I can’thelp watching Cillian with his boyfriend, Ollie.
It’s Thanksgiving, and we just ate at Rian’s, who’s the new leader of our organization. Everyone is standing around bullshitting, talking about sex, drugs, money, and mayhem—my favorite things. A tray with coke sits on the coffee table, and while at any other time I might partake, I don’t touch it today. I just…watch Cillian and Ollie.
He’s Cil’s kitten.
My bunny.
