“Your dad?”
I almost blurt out something about his disapproval of me pursuing someone outside of our faith, but if anything, my dad would be more likely to chastise me for that thought before saying anything bad about Claire.
“I’m not sure he’d understand this time,” I reply instead.
“As much as it pains me to admit it, Blake and JD would probablybe good at talking you through this kind of thing,” Landry continues, surprising me again.
“You know, apart from the confessional, having to clarify exactly what Claire and I have and haven’t done in bed is probably the second-to-last thing I want.”
“All right, then. Whatdoyou want?”
I want Claire, and I want it to be okay for me to have her, I think.
“I want to do the right thing. But I’m tired of being lonely.” It’s not the whole truth, but it’s close enough for now.
He purses his lips as he considers. “I guess you still want the same thing you’ve always wanted—a wife.”
“Right, and this situation isn’t helping.”
“Isn’t it?”
I turn to glare at him, not expecting something so deep to come out of this. “I don’t know. I’ve been looking for a wife for the past two decades, and I’ve never been this reckless with anyone else.”
“Because you like her,” he says the words slowly, and my cheeks heat when I consider how naturally my body reacts to hers, how easily I fall under her spell, even when she’s not trying to draw me in.
“I’m probably just confusing lust for something more. A good marriage should be based on love, honesty, and trust. The physical part isn’t all that important … right?”
“You might think that, but you’ve never made love to your soulmate and fallen asleep beside her, secure in knowing you get to keep her for the rest of your life,” he replies with a smirk. “I’d say it’s all pretty important.”
“What the hell did Daisy do to you, man?” I ask incredulously.
His smile widens. “She insisted on loving me when I thought I was unlovable. She made me feel safe for the first time in my life and taught me how to manage my emotions. And then I taught her a few things about feeling good, too.”
I roll my eyes. “I know I’m supposed to be happy for you since you’re sohappy. But it’s still a strange combination of surreal and gross to hear you brag about your sex life when it includes my sister, even if you are married.”
“And maybe it even hurts a little because you didn’t think you’d be the last one left unmarried?” he asks hesitantly.
My chest tightens. I hate being jealous, and I hate even more that I’m not only envious of the people I love most, but that I can’t stop myself from feeling so bitter about it all.
“You’re getting pretty observant,” I say after a while. “I’m not sure I like it.”
“I’m just recycling some of my own crap that came up in therapy now,” he admits. “Long story short, loneliness will make you say some petty shit before you even realize you’re thinking it.”
I grunt in response and return to staring at nothing and despising myself. I’m basically pre-Daisy Landry now.
“So?” He cocks an eyebrow expectantly.
“So what?” I grumble, still resentful of the way we’ve seemingly swapped roles in the past few months.
“Are you going to talk this out with Claire and admit how much you like her? Should I challenge her to a duel and force her to marry you, since she’s already compromised your virtue?”
“Are you done?”
He tilts his head from side to side as he considers. “Almost. I was already saving a couple of digs after the way you looked at her earlier this afternoon, but it all makes sense now. You can’t stop thinking about what’s hiding under that Carhartt getup, can you?”
“She’d beat you in a duel, you know,” I growl when he triggers an inconvenient mental image of Claire stepping out of her chest waders and leaving herself in her underwear on this very porch.
“I don’t doubt it,” he says with a light laugh. “Seriously, though, I know you well enough to fill in some of the blanks here. It’s not like you’d just jump into bed with a stranger.”
