“So my wife and I enjoy partaking in the sacraments, particularly the renewal of our marital vows,” JD says with an unapologetic shrug. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“But what makes you think the rest of us want to hear about it, particularly your kid?” Landry fires back.
JD crosses his arms and stares Landry down. “First of all, you ought to know by now that we’re all just competing to see who can get under your skin the fastest by oversharing.”
Landry aims an incredulous look at Blake, and I barely manage to stifle a laugh. “Come on, man. That’s Lo’s thing, being purposefully crude in front of you,” Blake adds matter-of-factly, and Landry lets out a defeated grunt.
“Second of all,” JD picks up where he left off, “whether you believe me or not, one of the biggest reasons Ten and I chose to wait was to set a good example for Ethan. Despite feeling totally unequipped for the job most days, it’s still my responsibility to teach him about sex and every other uncomfortable topic. Tenley and I want him to get the right message, but it’s not easy with the rest of the world telling him he deserves instant gratification. The only way we can compete is by reinforcing the idea that it’s better and more fulfilling within the right context. And I can’t promote marital intimacy without bringing it up every so often.”
I have to admire JD’s confidence. He believes he’s doingthe right thing, regardless of his motivation, and he’s less bothered by someone questioning his follow-through than his reasoning. I thought I shared the same convictions before, but maybe I’ve forgotten the point of all this …waiting. Sure, avoiding sin is important, but I haven’t exactly been treating sex the way JD’s describing it, the way I explained it to Claire a while back.
I know the purpose is to offer myself to my spouse in the same way Christ did for mankind, freely and completely, but I haven’t beenactinglike I know that. Instead, I’ve been afraid to grow, trying to bypass temptation instead of getting better at resisting it. Which means I’ve been holding back with Claire because I’m too much of a coward to face my attraction head on.
It’s no wonder she can’t bring herself to trust me with her heart when I’ve been too scared to give away my own.
“Plus, we’ve already learned not to take ourselves too seriously,” JD adds. “I mean, Ethan’s seventeen years old, and he obviously understands what’s going on. So I might as well turn the awkward moments into either laughable or teachable ones.”
“Yeah, well, what’s your excuse?” Landry turns to Blake after stewing over JD’s answer and probably realizing it makes too much sense.
“We all know my sense of humor rarely makes it out of the gutter. But also, my wife likes being reminded that she’s irresistible, and she especially likes it when I declare that I’m happily detained in front of everyone else. And I like what she likes,” Blake replies smoothly.
He’s got a point, too. But the way I’ve been acting so hot and cold toward Claire while I’m struggling to overcome temptation has left her believing it’s my attraction to her that bothers me and not my weakness in general.
“Listen, boys,” Blake begins again when he sees us looking thoughtful. “Women need a lot of reinforcement. They don’t compartmentalize shit the way we do. It’s all connected for them, so they start to question how much we love them as soon as there’s a small argument or we come home in a bad mood after a crappy day at work. It’s important that we give them that reassurance, not only ofour love and loyalty, but of our physical attraction to them. I tried going easy on that last part before, thinking I was being respectful. Turns out, it made Loren doubt how much I wanted her. You gotta find that balance, the sweet spot between ‘I love you more than life itself’ and ‘I’m constantly thinking about you naked.’ And make sure she knows there’s nothing you wouldn’t do to make her feel good.”
JD clears his throat, and I laugh to myself when Blake adds, “As long as it’s both unitive and procreative, of course.”
“Sorry, I stopped listening when you mentioned thinking about my sister naked,” Landry mutters under his breath.
“That’s rich coming from the Big Bad Wolf himself,” I reply, and Landry’s eyes widen.
“How’d you know about that?” he asks quickly.
“There’s a reason I run off to Claire’s all the time. You have very thin walls, man,” I say with a grimace. “And I don’t even want to know why the shower’s been covered in body hair lately.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Blake chimes in. “Have we just learned that Landry Reed is an undercover freak?”
“Unlike some of you, I don’t feel the need to share the details of my love life with the class,” Landry grinds out, his eyes narrowed at Blake. Meanwhile JD’s face reddens with the effort it’s taking him not to laugh.
“Bull,” I call him out under the guise of a fake cough. Landry looks betrayed, but I continue, anyway. “You and Daisy both don’t seem to mind rubbing your wedded bliss in my face. Not to mention, Claire’s going to feel like crap when she hears about how you’re trying to …”
I let the rest of that statement hang in the air once I realize what I’ve done.
“What do you mean by that?” Landry asks quietly.
I cringe and rub a hand over my face. “Forget it.”
“We both know that doesn’t work with me,” he replies.
Even though I know he’s right, I still hesitate to divulge the rest, especially in front of the others.
“Daisy already told me you were trying for a baby, but I’mworried about how Claire’s going to take the news. She’s had some fertility-related issues in the past, so it’s a sensitive topic for her. But it doesn’t mean we’re not happy for you guys or we won’t be hoping and praying it goes well for you. It’s just hard not to feel sorry for ourselves, I guess.”
Landry nods. “I’m sorry, man.”
“Don’t be. You didn’t know,” I reassure him with a pat on the shoulder.
“Daisy must not know, either. I’ll mention it to her, so we can be more mindful around Claire,” he promises, and I can’t be the only one impressed this time.
