“Hey, you’re not supposed to be holding back right now,” I scold him playfully. “You didn’t hear me complaining when your popsicle fingers started crawling around in my shirt.”
His smile grows cockier. “Oh, I heard you, Blondie.” Then he leans down and nips at my bottom lip. “But it didn’t sound like you were complaining.”
“Then why’d you stop?” I muse.
“I have to stop at some point, don’t I?” I’m sure the question was meant to be rhetorical, but the way he brings his lips back to that sensitive spot near my ear makes me think he wants an answer.
“No one’s stopping you, Landry,” I breathe. “In fact, I’d rather you didn’t.”
But my response has the opposite effect, because he pulls away and stares down at me, looking confused. “Is this all you want from me, then?”
I blink up at him. “No, of course not.”
His chest heaves as he continues. “But I haven’t even told you how I feel.”
“I think I know,” I say, giving him a soft smile.
“No,” he replies, shaking his head. “You don’t understand men at all, how easy it would be for me to go through with this, especially if Ididn’tcare.”
“You’re not like that, though,” I say quietly. “I know you, and you could never?—”
“You don’t know anything,” he cuts me off and moves to sit back on his heels. “You have no idea what I’ve done or what I’m capable of. The only kind of sex I’ve ever had is the detached kind. And I’ve told you over and over again that I don’t buy in to love or marriage. What did you expect?”
I tug my sweatshirt down and rise up on my elbows, my face heating up. “I guess I was hoping you’d feel something different with me.”
He looks away. “Yeah, well, I told you I’d never live up to your expectations,” he mutters to himself. “Come on. It’s late. And there’s not going to be any snow. You should get back to bed before you catch something.”
“No.” I frown. “I’m not ready to go yet.”
He blows out a breath. “Suit yourself then. I’ll see you in the morning.” Then he actually gets up and walks away, leaving me alone at the edge of the woods, just as the first few snowflakes fall.
CHAPTER 38
landry
“So,um, how long are we pretending I didn’t hear you creeping back in at two in the morning?” Rowan asks as he makes his bed.
“Indefinitely,” I growl from across the room.
“You and Daisy didn’t go off together to talk things out?”
I shake my head. “We did. But she didn’t take it very well.”
“What do you mean?”
“Does it look like I want to relive that conversation right now? Sometimes I wonder whether I’m really the one who can’t read people,” I retort angrily, but Rowan only crosses his arms and continues staring expectantly.
“If you really want to know,” I concede after a while, “I tried letting her down easy, like you suggested. I gave her all the reasons why we couldn’t have a romantic relationship, but she shot each of them down.” I leave out the accidental make out session for his sake, but just thinking about kissing Daisy admittedly makes my stomach dip. I clear my throat, hoping he can’t read my thoughts on my face. “I’m afraid I only made things worse.”
“Come on, Landry,” Rowan scolds me. “That’s not what I meant when I said you’re too far in to keep leading her on. You were supposed to realize how much you actuallydolike her and tell her you wanted to be together for real!”
I frown. “Oh. Well, that’s not exactly what I got from our conversation.”
“Gah, for one of the smartest people I’ve ever known, you can be so dense sometimes, man.”
“I’m sorry,” I mumble, staring down at my lap. Then I glance up at him. “You know what, maybe you’re the one who should be apologizing this time.”
“Me?”
