27 YEARS OLD
This place feelsfull of ghosts and despair. Even after all this time, it still smells the same, unlocking a batch of unwanted memories as I follow closely sandwiched between the imposing group of men. The air reeks of sweat and old paper. These dimly lit hallways echo with our steps as I’m dragged into one of the rooms they always used to beat the good into students.
As if such a thing can be done. Beating only causes trauma and irreparable harm. But the men in charge who’ve made the rules of Kingston don’t care about that. They only care about asserting their dominance and being obeyed. Giving the illusion that treating children the way they do will result in some fucked up utopia that gets on their knees to pray for Jesus, while simultaneously reinforcing their hatred for anyone that thinks or acts differently than they deem appropriate.
“Here. Put this on.” An old uniform is shoved into my arms by one of the men and the door is closed behind them, leaving me to change into the scratchy clothes.
I take my time peeling the skirt on over my legs and fixing the top over my body. It’s an instant transformation, making me feel like I’m seventeen all over again. Insecure, frightened, and anxious are all emotions that flood my overwhelmed psyche.Being in this room with a moment alone makes all the events of the day crash down on me and my heart rate responds in kind. Kicking up into a galloping cadence and pounding hard against my rib cage.
Head spinning, I breathe my way through the rising panic, trying not to spiral into the what if’s. But the pull is too strong, and the anxiety takes the wheel plunging me into an all out attack that rolls through my entire body.
I don’t have time to get myself together or let it run its course because the door opens back up and Kyle steps into the room and smiles.
“It’s been such a long time, Hazel. But then, maybe not. It was you that night? That fucked up my face?” It’s amazing how he can sound so friendly and threatening at the same time. A true politician through and through. He reaches for me and grabs my wrists, duct taping them together.
“It was me.” I manage to say through chattering teeth. The shakes have me in their grip, muscles spasming without my permission.
He smiles at me, though there’s no joy or life behind it. The expression is practiced. Reflexive. Just muscles pulling skin into what he thinks makes him palatable. It’s downright frightening, sending a cold tendril of fear skating down my rigid spine.
“Come, I have some place I want to show you.”
He grips me by the arm, fingers digging into my flesh as he pulls me up onto unsteady feet. I’m still neck deep in a panic attack, or I would head butt his stupid face.
Fuck this anxiety for being so goddamn inconvenient. It makes me think of the nickname Ace gave me. A little doe.
Easily frightened and frozen when presented with danger.
Maybe I am useless prey. Always meant to end up back here to face the fate that should have claimed me all those years ago.
“A lot of changes have been implemented in this place since you left.” His voice carries along the empty corridor. The armed guards are nowhere to be found, and that unsettles me. He must not want them to see what he’s got planned for me. “Dr. Ostroff has resigned. And Pastor Charles has passed on. But I’ve been able to transform it into it’s true potential. Still, I have a lot of plans for the future. The students are off on holiday break, I know we didn’t have those, but I wanted them to have some sense of normalcy before we break them in.”
God, this guy loves the sound of his own fucking voice. It’s like he’s not really talking to me, but just talking for hell of his own amusement.
The only piece of clothing I wasn’t provided was a pair of shoes, so my bare feet are left to slap along the stained tile as he drags me further along. We pass old classrooms and the row of lockers where it’s clear they’ve repainted over the graffiti I’d found shortly after Sarah’s disappearance. I’d only attended school one day before I begged my parents to let me be homeschooled. Without solid proof of my involvement, I’d been let go by the police with the understanding that they could come back and question me at any time.
But as the days passed, no body turned up.
Cadaver dogs were called out to the woods, and then around the school grounds, but nothing was ever found. Learning the sheriff was somehow invested in the Dansbury’s political motives now made a little more sense. Why would you want something like evidence to incriminate your chosen candidate?
My mind snags on the camera I’d had in my pocket when I was lost in the woods. They never did say if it was found, and now I wonder if the police had it destroyed.
We pass every room until we come to the exit. Snow falls in fat chunks just outside, blanketing the ground in a brilliantglittery white. The sun is just beginning its descent in the sky, and I wonder if I’ll ever see another sunset in my life.
“Let’s go.” Kyle opens the door and pushes me out into the cold.
“Where are we going?” I ask, barely able to speak. The panic has a firm grip on my body, squeezing my throat in a way that makes me think I’m having difficulty breathing.
“Somewhere we’ve both been before.”
He leads me down a trail, trees looming above us like gnarled hands reaching up into the sky. Their leaves have long abandoned their branches leaving them bare save for a thin layer of snow that coats their bark.
“You know, I never could figure out how you clawed your way out of that hole. I thought for sure you were done for once I covered both your bodies. I never dreamed that you’d come back like a fucking zombie, intent of ruining me and my reputation.”
“You killed Sarah. And your baby. Then framed me for it.” I counter, anger boiling in my blood.
“She killed herself by threatening to shackle me to some bastard child I’m not even sure was mine. You were just collateral damage.”
I reel back, but his grip holds sure. “Fuck you.” I seethe.
