I don’t miss the way her eyes heat as she tracks my movement.
“You better stop looking at me like that, or you won’t have time to finish your coffee.”
She giggles and sips her coffee again, licking her lips after she swallows. It’s fucking mesmerizing. Everything she does has me in a trance.
“So, tell me more about this private investigating.”
“Well, after I was removed from Kingston Prep, my father had me contained to the rectory working at Kingston’s churchin town. I realized that I wasn’t going to college. Not with this secret hanging over my family’s head and not with my family’s reach. So, I spent my free time digging, saving up enough money until I could leave. I found I had a knack for finding things no one wants found. One night, my father found me breaking into one of his warehouses, and I was hauled off to jail. After that, he cut me off, so I decided to take what skills I had with hacking into computers and digging up information and turn it into a business to help sustain my needs.”
“I can’t help but think back to what I remember you as, back at Kingston. Always lurking. You know they called you Kyle’s scary brother?”
“Yeah, well I can be if I try.” I know just how true that statement is, knowing how far I’d go to ruin my father and brother. To have the world see them for who they truly are. She might be looking at me with a misty expression, reminiscing on the good times, but my hands are far from clean. I probably deserve to rot right alongside my family, and I’d deserve every second.
“One more question.”
“Shoot.”
“Was I really your first?”
This is the moment I’ve been most nervous about. Wondering if she’ll want to run again after learning just how obsessed I’ve been with her. How there’s never been anyone else for me. I decide to rip the Band-Aid off and offer her the truth, just like I’ve been doing this whole time.
“It really was my first time.”
“Hmm. Could have fooled me.”
I smile at that. “Good. Then I guess all that studying paid off.”
“You really saved yourself for me?”
“I did. I’ve always known that you were it for me. Even back at Kingston. And now I’ve finally found you and claimed you just like it should be.”
She seems to let my confession sit for a minute in her mind, mulling over the implications of what that means while she sips on her coffee.
I decide it’s my turn to ask a question that’s plagued me since Kingston. “Have you… thought about me at all since school?” My knuckles crack as I try to appear unaffected though inside, I’m impatiently waiting her answer.
Her eyes slide over to take me in, and I don’t miss the way her shoulders tense. “Occasionally. More in a passing way wondering what everyone was doing, but I’d never allow myself to dwell on it for long. Thinking about Kingston for too long never ended up being good for me.”
I nod, already figuring that was the answer, but feeling deflated all the same. She might not have thought of me the way I thought about her, but I’d make sure from now on she would. I wouldn’t be Kyle’s weird brother. I’d be the man she’s always dreamed of.
“So… New York?” She asks after a few minutes, and I don’t miss the fear that’s laced on those three small words.
I nod. “New York.” Feeling the tiniest bit of hope that maybe she feels the intensity of what’s between us. That she’ll want me just as much as I want her. Then we can take down my piece of shit brother together.
She blows out a breath. “Okay.”
“Yeah?”
“I want to bring Kyle down. And if that means… going to New York, then I want to try. I can’t promise that I’ll be all that helpful, but with how angry I’m feeling, I think I can push through the anxiety. Sarah deserves to have me do this for her.”
“I’ll be with you the whole time.” I promise, wanting to let her know she’s not alone. Not anymore.
She smiles but it’s a sad smile. Like she hears my words but doesn’t believe them.
CHAPTER 21
HAZEL
27 YEARS OLD
