It’s a calculated risk, but one I have to take if I’m going to escape. Pushing off with all my weight, I sprint, bare feet slapping against the hardwood floor and vision dotting with black spots. Pure instinct and adrenaline take over as I fight back the clutches of a panic attack that swirl around my chest. I can feel it climbing my limbs and settling around my throat as I frantically race towards my freedom.
Not now, I think as I manage to clutch a knife from the butcher block, before I’m being shoved against the wall. Hard. My hand raises, slashing at my attacker.
“I can’t believe I let you fuck me.” I rage. Everything inside of me feels a tsunami of emotions. Anger, betrayal, fear. I feel it all. Mixing into an amalgamation that begins to register in my psyche as needing to black the fuck out. I’m close, if I can just make it to my car, maybe I can start over and the panic will subside.
It’ll be harder without my things, but I’ve done it before. Just like the day I ran from Kingston.
“Stop flailing that thing around and listen to me.”
“Why the fuck should I?” I make another slash in his direction, aiming for his face. Maybe I’ll be lucky enough to scar the other side. My body is still clamoring in the midst of fight or flight, threatening to have me rendered useless, and completely at his mercy.
“Because you’re in danger.” He says, dodging my weak attempt to attack him, easily. In all my running, I should have made more time to learn how to defend myself, but I was too busy fighting with my own mind in order to survive.
“Yeah, from you! You threatened to release my secrets! What the hell do you even know?”
He shakes his head, arms up in surrender. Moving in close enough that my blade touches his throat.
“I know you didn’t do what you think you did.” He comes closer again, and I press into his flesh. Knife to Adam’s apple, drawing a bead of blood that slithers down his scruffy neck.
“How could you possibly know that?”
“I saw you. That night. Ten years ago, I saw what really happened.”
I study him, trying to remember. Trying to grasp onto something tangible, but come up empty. That night has been plaguing me for years. What memories I do have are sparse. Just wisps of what I’ve managed to piece together. The articles, the documentaries, the news, they all agreed.
“Th-they said it was me.”
“Because Kyle said it was.”
I blink hard, trying to fit this new piece of information into my brain. I’ve gone years believing the worst about myself. Thinking that somehow, in the gaps of my mind, I’d caused Sarah to go missing. Everyone said so. My own mother even believed it, without concrete proof.
“Are you telling me, that I didn’t kill Sarah?”
He pauses and sighs. “That’s what I’m telling you. I had to find you before he did. He’s been after everyone since that night. I found a file in his office. River? Matty? They all had Xs on theirs. They’re dead. He had them killed, and you’re next.”
My eyes dart between his. His expression seems… earnest.
“How do I know you’re not just fucking with me? Having some fun before you place a big fat ‘X’ on my file for your brother?” My chest feels tight. My skin sweaty.
“You can’t. You’ll just have to trust that I don’t want to hurt you. I want your secret shared because, it’s one that could put Kyle away forever. Behind bars or six feet beneath the earth, exactly where he belongs.” The spade throbs on my skin and it all clicks together why he would choose such a design.
A spade for Ace. I should have known it was him then.
“Why not just kill him already if you hate him so much?”
“Because he deserves to suffer for his crimes. And there’s nothing better than him having to see everything being ripped from him. His status. His money. The lies he’s created to manipulate his life at the expense of others. Messaging you the way I have been, was a way to get close to you. To learn about who you are now and find out what you remember. You deserve to know the truth, Hazel. Even if that truth scares you.”
I blink. I have been scared.
And on the run.
Hiding.
Feeling like I’m trapped in a whirlwind of trauma that’s sunk its teeth into me and refuses to let go.
“Why? Why would you even care enough to come and find me?”
“Because Hazel. You’re mine. We belong together. I’ve been looking for you since you escaped Kingston. After you left, the police had nothing to go on. They let me and my brother go, and Sarah’s disappearance was pushed off for years. But I never forgot about you, Hazel. I never stopped searching.”
