The way he is acting, I might as well do that right now.
“Reyansh,” I grumble. “Can you stop following me?”
I say as I sit on the corner of our bed. Both of our mothers decided that they were suddenly too tired to do anything—even talk or gossip—so they both retired to their room. Not beforegiving us a shove to talk. Something in me says they know what is up. They know there’s something brewing between us.
I am highly suspicious that the sole reason they are here is to fix us.
“No,” he smiles at me, and it makes me painfully aware of the fact that my husband is beautiful. Every inch of him is carved with so much detail and patience. It makes it really, really hard to dislike him. Hate is another story altogether.
No matter how much I bluff with myself, I know not a single cell in my body will ever be able to hate Reyansh.
“God, you don’t have to pretend right now, Reyansh,” I sigh, stretching my neck, aware of the way his eyes follow my every movement like a hawk. “Our mothers are asleep right now. You don’t have to act like you are obsessed with me.”
His eyes turn cold when I finish saying the painful words.
“I am obsessed with my wife,” he bites out, but the smile doesn’t leave his face. “I don’t need to pretend for that. Maybe you should stop pretending that you don’t see it.”
“See what?”
“That I am obsessed with you.”
I chuckle. “I see what is shown. Actions speak louder than words, Reyansh.”
He lowers his head, as if he can’t look me straight in the eyes because he knows somewhere I am right. His actions haven’t been enough to tell me what he feels.
“I know,” he presses a kiss to my bare feet, and I gasp. Out of everything, I didn’t expect him to do this. “I am sorry.” Another kiss.
“What are you doing?”
My eyes sting with the tears I am too chicken to let out. Not in front of him, at least.
“Kneeling at my wife’s feet so that she forgives me,” he whispers, his eyes glistening with tears. “I will do anything to earn your love and your forgiveness back. Just let me.”
I feel his tears on my feet as he rests his forehead on them.
And slowly, I find myself standing at the crossroads of our life again.
What the hell do I do?
Reyansh Carter
Aisha is still in my hold, her breathing almost shallow. I know this is all a lot for her. Today has been nothing less than hectic and chaotic for her. But this was all I could do to keep her with me, close with me for as long as possible.
I knew nothing I would say would be able to stop her from leaving other than the fact that our mothers would be visiting us. And I was right. She didn’t leave me. Yet.
“I know I have fucked up massively, Aisha,” I whisper in our silent bedroom, where the only sounds that can be heard are Aisha’s slow breathing, the clock ticking, and my honest words. “I know I have hurt you and disappointed you so much. But I also know that in the moments when I have let you down, in the moments when I haven’t been as present as I was supposed to be, and in the moments I was supposed to be a better husband, I have loved you. I never stopped, and it kills me to know that I made you feel like that. All I ask, all I am begging, is for you to give me one chance to fix everything.”
A startled hiccup from her makes me raise my eyes to finally look at her face. Tears that I know she had been holding back for so long stream down her cheeks, and my heart clenches in my chest. God knows how many tears I have made her cry over me. But not anymore.
Not now or ever.
“You can’t just say that, Reyansh.” Her words sounded just as vulnerable as she looked right now. So fragile. “You can’t just come after months and months of neglecting me and then say that you love me when you have made me feel so, so terrible. I have spent days and nights wondering what has happened to us. What I was doing wrong. Now you come and say that you love me when I have made up my mind that maybe this marriage wasn’t meant to last.”
Her words hit me deep in the parts of my heart that I never knew existed. If I could murder myself, I would have by now.
“Aisha,” I lick my lips, trying to get words out. But I know nothing I could say would soothe her wounds. “I don’t know what to say.”
She wipes harshly at her face, and I momentarily lean up to hold her hands, but she gets up, shoving me away. My face twists in pain that doesn’t even amount to what I have inflicted on her.
