Chapter Four
Lady Amelia Brimley
I took the last stair to the nursery, each footstep heavy. The afternoon had started out promising enough. Hide and seek had been fun and illuminating. My body still hummed with need at the memory of Oliver at my back and Noah touching my ankle.
Lately, I seemed to become more aware of Noah as a man than I had before, and it was very disconcerting. I was in love with Oliver. Had he been right to allow me the opportunity to meet other men for this very reason? I had enjoyed my season, and flirting with eligible gentlemen had been flattering. At seventeen, I had the entire glamorous world of London society before me. And then I lost my sister, and it all came crashing down.
Tears pressed at the back of my eyes and I willed them not to fall. Five years older than me, Sally was more of a mother to me than mine ever was. I’d never been close to my brother Albert, who currently lived in India with his wife’s family. I’d been shipped off to boarding school the first chance Mother had, and I hadn’t been there for Sally and the twins the way I had been for Ethan. Regret over the fact was a constant companion of mine. I opened the door and was met with two screaming children.
Caroline, the nursemaid for the twins, glanced over her shoulder, baby John in one arm, Sam in the other. Plump witha tender nature, the older woman had been with the family since Ethan was born. “Lady Amelia, I am afraid the twins have developed a fever.”
“Do they need a doctor?” Sweat traced a path down Caroline’s ruddy cheeks, her color high. Caring for two children at once had to be trying for a woman of her age, and Noah had hired Miss Penny to take charge of Ethan to relieve her burden. “No, I believe they’re teething.”
“Poor dears.” I moved to her side and lifted John’s chin. A line of droll glistened on his lower lip. He inhaled a shaky breath, and his little mouth parted. I caught a hint of white on his gums and pulled his lip down. “Yes, indeed. It appears as if he has a new tooth peeking through.”
After Ethan was born, I spent hours in the nursery with him. Sally had a hard delivery, and she kept to her bed for nearly three months. Her behavior had concerned me, but Mother said it was normal for a lady of her station to take to her bed after giving birth. I helped the nurse care for him while my sister rested. A stab of pain infiltrated my heart at the memory of Sally.
“Mama,” John scrunched up his little nose and threw himself out of Caroline’s arms.
“No, Amelia, not Mama.” I caught him, relieving her of the burden. If I were his mama, I would be sharing Noah’s bed. A flush stole up my cheeks and I tamped down the wicked thought. Oliver and I would one day have children, not Noah and I. I hugged John tight, inhaling the warm smell of baby, talc, and linen. Oliver’s proposal couldn’t come soon enough. Although there would still be the question of when we would wed.
“What is that ruckus?” Mother asked from somewhere behind me. I inhaled, trying to maintain a calm demeanor. Sneaking up on me was a common occurrence with her. She seemed to know my every move.
Every time I was alone with her of late, I lost control of my temper. Once I was married, I could move out of the house into my own. Except there would be an extended period in between before the wedding. I patted John’s back, trying to calm both of us.
“John is teething. I can only assume Sam is as well,” I said.
“Yes.” Mother took Sam from Caroline. He rested his head on Mother’s shoulder, his thumb moving to his mouth. Sam and John were twins but they weren’t identical. Sam had ginger hair while John was blond, rather like Sally and me. Mother cooed to him, the severe lines etched into her forehead fading. She adored her grandchildren and, although harsh with me, never raised her voice to them. I envied them. Being on the outs with her was tiring in the extreme.
“Caroline, would you fetch some whisky and a cloth.” Mother moved to the rocking chair by the window. “Amelia, come and sit. We need to talk.”
Dread settled in the pit of my stomach but I did what she asked. John had calmed down a bit, and from the weight of his limbs, he was relaxed. For the sake of peace, I should make up some excuse but I didn’t wish to disturb the child. The oak chair was from America and carved by Quakers in Pennsylvania. They were a gift from Oliver’s grandmother to our family.
Rain hit the windowpanes. The day had turned blustery and wet soon after we finished eating. My game of hide and seek with Ethan had to be postponed. “Where is Ethan?” I asked.
“He’s with his grandfather putting together a puzzle,” she said, leaning her head back.
My mother had been a great beauty in her day, but sadness had wiped away the joy she used to carry with her. She had adored Sally, and my older sister could do no wrong in her eyes. “Papa does love his puzzles.”
“Yes, he does.” Mother cleared her throat and began to rock, the floorboards beneath the chair emitting a soft popping sound. Sam sucked on his thumb, his ginger hair wet from his fever.
“Is Noah with him?” I asked, careful not to look at her lest she read my interest in him as more than sisterly. We weren’t related except by marriage, and my silly girlhood infatuation was just that, an infatuation. Oliver would be my husband soon, and I would appease my unladylike desires. At least, I prayed they would be.
The creaking continued. “No, I believe he and Oliver stepped out.”
“Oh,” I wasn’t sure why I was jealous, but I was. The two men hadn’t necessarily been great friends in the past. Of course, Noah had been out to sea for the majority of the time he’d been married to Sally, and Oliver had been at university. “I see.”
