“Oliver has nothing to do with my desire for you. This is between us.” Many a night I dreamed of being held by Noah, even more so of late.
“I am very desirable,” he teased.
Shaking my head, I slanted my lips over his and kissed him with zeal, each caress firing my need. He glided his tongue along mine as he rolled my nipple between his fingers. I whimpered,grinding my pelvis against his arousal. The attraction that dogged my every thought of late rushed through me like a raging river, and I melted into his arms. There was no gentle coaxing in his kiss but a raw and elemental need. I clung to his nape as his tongue plundered my willing mouth. I was daring in my inebriated state. Oliver left me in a vulnerable position, and I ached to be cherished, if only for a few hours. Noah had a way of making me feel special.
Heated lips drifted from my mouth to my throat, nibbling on the sensitive flesh until goosebumps broke out across my skin. “You are very desirable.”
“As are you, sweet Amelia, and tempting, too tempting.” Noah slipped his palm along my thigh where my nightgown had ridden up my thighs. He allowed his hand to slide up the skin of my leg. I wrapped my arms more fully around his neck, my knees weak. His mouth playing over mine; he glided a fingertip through the damp curls of my pussy and flicked the swollen nub. I bucked beneath his touch, my head falling back. The night rail slipped off my shoulders to expose my breasts. He skimmed his mouth down my arm, all the while watching my face. I should have been embarrassed, but I wasn’t. I met his regard and sucked in a breath as he brought my nipple into his mouth. Lust blackened his stare. A sense of pride enveloped me. Noah’s desire equaled mine. It was written on every nuance of his face. Air pushed from between my lips, and I cried out as an intense sensation exploded from within.
I fell back to earth, my body sated. Gentle hands cradled my back, the press of his mouth along the column of my throat adding to my sense of well-being. I reached between us, unsure what to do but wishing to pleasure him nonetheless.
He grabbed my wrist to stop my momentum. Strain pulled at his mouth, the skin over his cheekbones taut with unfulfilled desire. “I...”
I recognized that look. Noah was a kind and giving man who often sacrificed his own needs for others. I was ashamed to admit I rarely pushed back. Tonight I wanted to see his needs met like he’d met mine. I explored the bulge between his legs, my fingers finding his length. He settled his palm over my hand, indecision flittering across his forehead. “Amelia—”
“I wish to please you like you pleased me,” I said, nibbling at his strong chin. When he didn’t answer right away, I squeezed his erection with more pressure, earning a growl from him.
“You try my patience,” he said on a harsh whisper that lacked bite.
“I could say the same thing about you.” I continued to stroke him, exploring the length beneath the fabric. My brashness astounded me, yet it was also empowering. “Would you like me to stop?”
“No,” he said, shaking his head, amusement mingling with lust. With quick work, he released his cock from his trousers. Having three nephews, I was no stranger to the male anatomy. However, Noah wasn’t a boy. He was a man with a man’s needs.
Soft skin over hard flesh met my exploring fingers. Uncertainty continued to plague me, and I tugged at his earlobe with my teeth. “Show me what to do.”
His chest rising with need, he settled his hand over mine, guiding me on how to pleasure him. His desire radiated outward, scorching me with the force of his need. Desperate eyes met mine, and he pressed coaxing kisses over my mouth. My pussy kindled to life. Noah seemed to read my mind, for his talented fingers found my nub once more, circling it with precision. A tangible bond had been forged between us over the years, but it had taken an unexpected turn tonight. I worked his cock the way he showed me, my body on fire in the throes of ecstasy. Something intense flared between us, and I waspowerless to stop it. He jerked beneath my hand, groaning while he found fulfillment.
Satisfaction rushed through me, and I held him tight while he shuddered in passion’s throes. My heart swelled even more with love for him, words I dared not utter. Content for the moment, I lay panting. The silence that fell was somehow comforting.
Noah rose and retrieved a wet cloth from the washstand. He cleaned off my hands and then himself before tossing it aside and rejoining me. He rolled me onto my side and tucked me into his body. A sharp object cut into my arm.
I reached under to recover a jack from a child’s game. “I believe this belongs to Ethan,” I said on a yawn, resting my hand on his chest, my chin cradled in my fist. “I daresay it is the object which almost crippled me.”
He took it from me and inspected the sharp metal, a sleepy smile on his kiss-swollen lips. “He is fond of leaving them in the most unfortunate places. I, myself, have stepped on toy soldiers, blocks, and, oddly enough, rocks. My son seems fond of collecting them. Of course, you knew that.”
“Yes, I am aware of his peculiarities. Once the twins leave the nursery, I am sure you will be subjected to more of the same from them. They idolize their older brother.” Like I had idolized my older sister. My earlier euphoria faded.
“You’re frowning again.” He brushed his knuckle down my cheek and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “You really need to stop obsessing over Oliver’s proposal. He gave his word, and he will keep it. You must be patient a little while longer.”
“What if I no longer wish to marry Oliver?” I blurted out before I could halt the question. A blush raced its way along my neck. I really shouldn’t have indulged in that last glass of sherry. It stripped me of more than my inhibitions.
Worry lines formed between his eyebrows. “That’s preposterous. Of course you will marry Oliver.”
“It is not written in stone. I do have other options.” I wanted to finish my thought before I lost my nerve. The time was near to find out once and for all if Noah and I had a future, and words seemed to fail me. I awkwardly cleared my throat and pushed through my sudden bashfulness. The time for shyness had long since passed. I was lying half-naked with him, his clothing askew. “Oliver isn’t my fiancé, not in the technical sense. Mother thinks, well, Mother thinks that you, well, you and I might, um, well, we might make a match.”
The nerves in my stomach returned twofold while I awaited his response. I was heartened when he didn’t order me to leave the room or push me off him. He stared at me for a long moment, his expression shuttered.
Dread replaced my hope, and I wanted to take the words back, yet they hung in the air between us.
“Your mother hasn’t been in her right mind since Sally’s death. While I am flattered, I think you’re allowing what happened between us to cloud your perspective.” He exhaled a long breath and, curling his arm, placed it behind his head. His hair was in disarray, one dark lock falling across his forehead.
Anger flamed inside me, and I sat upright, glaring at him. “Do not patronize me, Noah. I am not a child who is easily tricked. While I enjoyed our interlude, physical passion is only part of the reason I even mentioned Mother’s comment.”
He rolled to his side and fixed his trousers before he stood. One large hand clasped mine, taking it between his palms. Earnest eyes met mine. “I never meant to imply that. But let’s be realistic. By your own admission, you have been in love with Oliver for ages. He loves you, in that you must believe. As I said before, I have no intentions of marrying again to you or anyone else.”
“I see,” I said. I cinched the waist of my robe and squared my shoulders, embarrassment burning my neck.
Noah cupped the side of my face and lifted my chin, misery etched into the tired lines around his mouth. “It isn’t personal. I love you, I will not lie and say I don’t, but I can never allow myself to fall in love with you or any other woman.”
