Chapter Twelve
Lady Amelia Brimley
“Will you marry again?” I angled my head and studied his handsome face, anxious for his answer. Mother’s words in the nursery haunted me. The wine and my overly tired mind dulled my nervousness, and my head swam in a pleasant fog, making me bold. My body was hot with expectation. After leaving the library, I snuck into Sally’s room in search of her journal. I hadn’t been successful in my search. It was possible that Noah had the diary, but he’d never said anything about it if he had. I could ask him outright, except he wasn’t supposed to know the truth.
And neither was I.
Yet I did.
He lifted a sardonic brow, his long lashes framing his tawny irises. The wineglass dangled between his lean fingers, his long legs stretched out. The tweed trousers pulled tight at his thighs, enhancing the muscles. “Why would you ask that?”
“Because Mother said you might find a wife and move to your estate with your family.” Everything inside me rebelled at the notion. It was a real possibility, however. I studied his face for a long moment. Would I have the nerve to ask him if he’d consider marrying me? Mother had indicated I should take control of my own destiny.
“Well, your mother is mistaken.” He turned his head, his profile to me. A muscle jumped under his skin, the shadow of his beard adding to his masculine appeal. “There is no need for me to get married again. I have three boys, plenty of heirs for a titled gentleman.”
“What about your own happiness?” I asked, disturbed by his determined expression. “Sally wouldn’t wish for you to be miserable.” Like she had been in the end.
His full lips twisted in a parody of a smile. “I am happy, Amelia. Well, as happy as any man of my station.”
“What about the boys? They will need a mother,” I said. Although I was their aunt, the twins already called me Mother. I loved them with my heart and soul, and if I married Noah, it would be a smooth transition for them.
“They have a mother. Well, had.” His smile dimmed, and he shifted in his seat. Sorrow darkened his expression. “I’ve done my best to tell them stories of her every day. Never fear, they will never forget her. Nor will I ever forget her.”
An uncomfortable silence fell between us; the ghost of my sister’s thoughts resided in the journal. By all rights, I should tell Noah of its existence. If it contained what Mother indicated, he would be torn apart by the real reason for her death. The tears I’d shed while my parents spoke of her shame haunted me. I climbed to my feet, less than steady. I hadn’t eaten dinner, and I rarely imbibed in drink. “I had best go.”
“Yes, I think that’s wise,” he said, coming to his feet.
Part of me ached to linger, but I had overstayed my welcome. I stepped around one of the side tables and cried out as a sharp object dug into the soft sole of my slipper. Foot lifted, I reached for the offending object, teetering to the right.
“Amelia.” Noah rushed to my side as the room tilted. I tried to catch myself before I fell. Noah’s strong arm caught me around the waist. My momentum dragged us down to the floor.He rolled at the last second, cushioning my fall with his body. I lay half-sprawled across his torso, the breath knocked out of me. I stared down at his shocked countenance, awareness rushing through me. The few times Oliver held me in his arms, I had wanted to press myself closer to his hardness. I was chest to chest with Noah, my nipples constricting from the contact. The surprise in his eyes shifted to another emotion that rocked me to my core. Desire. He desired me.
“Are you hurt?” he asked.
“No, I am not hurt.” I leaned down, my eyes locked with his fevered stare.
“Amelia, I think it would behoove you to leave before you do something you regret.” The husky quality to his voice made my toes curl.
He made no move to release me, despite his words.
“If I left, I would regret it more.” Mouth parted, I tilted my head in invitation, my knees coming to rest on either side of his hips. Heart hammering in my chest, I danced my lips over his, the heat of his breath caressing my skin. I’d kissed Oliver before; thus, kissing wasn’t new to me. “A kiss. That is all I am asking for, a kiss,” I said against his warm mouth.
“You are asking a lot of me.” Noah hesitated, not pulling away but not returning my kiss either. His warm palms settled on either side of my shoulders, blocking me from coming closer. I skimmed the tip of my tongue between the seam of his lips, aching to taste all of him.
His stiffened hands relaxed, and he curled his fingers, drawing me tighter to his body. I settled more fully onto him, my arm moving around his neck. Hard thighs cradled mine, and I growled in my throat. Oliver had never held me with such intimacy, nor had he truly instigated any physical contact. It had been by my urging he’d even kissed me at all. I pushed aside the disturbing epiphany. “No doubt I am asking a lot of you. Youcan’t deny that you desire me. Even an innocent like me can feel your excitement.”
His entire frame stiffened at my observation, incredulity etched in the lines between his brows. Laughter escaped me, and I tugged at his earlobe with my teeth. “Have I shocked you?”
“I will not lie and say no,” he said, the raspy quality of his voice adding to my growing need.
“No. Just because I am an unmarried woman doesn’t make me innocent of the ways of men and women. I have eyes and ears. It is no great mystery if you know where to look.” I glided one hand down his arm and, clasping his hand, placed it on my breast. “I ache for you to touch me.”
His fingers caressed my nipple through the heavy fabric. “I can’t bed you, Amelia. It wouldn’t be right.”
“I’m not asking you to bed me. Surely there are other ways to find pleasure,” I said, my face flaming at my bold manner. Mother told me to take what I wanted. Somehow I don’t think she meant it in this context. I kissed my way along the underside of his jaw, my body melting into his hard one.
“There are, but none of them are any more acceptable than bedding you would be,” he said on a husky laugh. Instead of fighting me, he tugged at the strings of my neckline. A sense of rightness overcame me at his acquiescence. The fabric gave under his fingertips. Cool air touched my skin, and I was willing to give him free rein to explore my breasts. “Are you sure you’re not seducing me to get back at Oliver?” he asked.
