Chapter Ten
Lady Amelia Brimley
I tightened the sash of my robe and stumbled out of my bedroom. My eyes were scratchy from crying all day. Unable to face my family on such a somber day, I spent the afternoon with three of my friends on the tennis court. The activity had helped ease my mind somewhat. Nothing short of having Sally back would erase the ache.
I wished I could roll back the clock and be at the track with Oliver and Noah. Mother had been home when we’d returned from Epsom Downs, and she’d given me the cold shoulder for two days, not an unusual occurrence for us. Between my lack of sleep from the night before and my time on the court, I was exhausted. Yet my mind refused to turn off. Mother’s suggestion about Noah had played a continuous loop in my mind until I wanted to scream from the sheer force of it. A throbbing began in my temples, and I ached to rid my thoughts of the notion. I would accept Oliver’s proposal, and Noah and I would continue on as we had. No matter what Mother desired.
I passed the short hallway leading to Noah’s suite. Before, I was in love with theideaof the dashing commander. Lately, I’d experienced a kind of ... physical pull toward him. A girlhood infatuation was one thing. Now, every time I was around him, my body hummed with some unforeseen energy. Mother’scomment brought home how much I’d started seeing Noah in an entirely different light.
The thick runner muted my footsteps as I approached the library. I was intent on finding a book—any book—to read that would occupy my mind. A light was still on in the blue drawing room adjacent to the library. I managed to avoid my mother most of the afternoon and yearned for the day I would have my own home. It all hinged on Oliver. I slipped inside the library and shut the door.
High windows let in muted light, and the smell of parchment and wax permeated the air. The room acted as my sanctuary, and I often tucked myself in the corner nook to avoid prying eyes. I headed to my reading nook and froze at the sound of the muted voices coming from the study.
The cracked open door revealed my father sitting at a long table doing a puzzle. My mother was at her needlepoint frame. I slipped closer, intending to shut the door when my mother spoke.
“Brimley, how can you sit there so calmly when Amelia’s life is ruined?” she asked.
Any desire to flee left me, and I cocked my head, intent on eavesdropping on their conversation. What had happened in my absence?
Father lifted his head, holding up a puzzle piece under a magnifying glass. “Amelia’s life isn’t ruined. Oliver simply said Lady Gwendolyn was sick and he couldn’t keep his appointment for tomorrow. It is a small delay, nothing to worry about.”
Oliver wasn’t coming? My knees weakened before I caught myself. It was a small setback as Father said. Guilt followed my selfish thoughts. Oliver’s grandmother was sick, and I wasn’t informed of the information because I was hiding.
“He might, but do you think the marriage is the wisest choice for Amelia?” she asked, stabbing the needle into the fabric. Herevery movement spoke of impatience. Any instant, she’d be on her feet pacing, something she’d done more so of late. “She is headstrong, and Oliver is no match for her. She needs a man of substance.”
“Oliver is a duke, and Amelia will thrive as his duchess. You are too hard on her.”
“And you have never been hard enough,” she shot back.
I rolled my eyes at the familiar bickering and stepped back, ready to make my exit. This latest crusade of hers baffled me. There was no higher honor than to marry a duke, yet no matter what I did, it was never enough for her. I squared my shoulders and exhaled. I was going to be a duchess, come hook or by crook, regardless of Mother’s opinion on that score. Mother had told me to take what I could and not to wait for anyone. The hypocrisy was outlandish. On the one hand, she expected me to comply with her wishes, yet on the other hand, she’d also encouraged me to take what I wanted. I still had a hard time reconciling that it was my mother who had given me such sage advice.
“He is nineteen and is still a boy. Amelia needs a sensible man like Noah.”
I pressed my lips together, the heat flooding my cheeks returned at the notion of marrying him. He was Sally’s husband. Correction, had been her husband.
“You want Amelia to choose Noah over Oliver?” Father lowered the puzzle piece, his broad forehead furrowed. By the look he cast her way, this was even too much for Father. “Have you gone daft? She’s promised to Lord Oliver.”
“And what if Oliver reneges on his promise? Amelia and Noah are always in each other’s pockets. What if he marries someone else and takes the boys with him? It’s been a year today since...since he was widowed,” she said, her voice breaking.
Father’s expression fell, and he lowered the piece. He stood, the legs of his chair scraping against the floor. “So that’s what this is about? You’re afraid of losing our grandchildren? What made you think that will ever happen?”
“Noah is young and will no doubt marry soon.” She jabbed her needle into the fabric. “She will wish for her own home, and the harridan will take my grandsons from me.”
“We will face that when the time comes,” Father said with a shake of his head, placing the piece of the puzzle in its place. “It is natural for him to remarry. Sally would have wanted him to be happy.”
“Oh...” She put her face in her hands and began to sob. “Oh, Brimley, I miss her so much.”
To see my stern mother so fragile cut right into my soul. I disliked her more often than not, but I couldn’t stand to see anyone in pain. With my hand to my mouth, I wanted to rush to my room and sob my sorrow into my pillow. Every month Sally’s passing seemed to fade into the redundancy of life. Guilt tightened my throat, and I forced myself to swallow. The pain of her loss hit me at the oddest of times. Sally had been taken too early. Even if she had lived to be seventy, the loss wouldn’t be any less intense.
“I know, my love. I miss her too.” His deep bass exuded assurance and infinite patience for his wife. Their marriage had been arranged by their parents, and although my mother could have said no to my father’s proposal, she chose to follow her parents’ dictate.
