I scrub my hand over my face. “No. That’s not what I meant.”
“Oh, do I love this,” Cat chuckles.
I freeze. “What?”
She waves her hand at me. “This. You’re normally so put together and - smoldering - but today, I get to see the Ruffled Ryker. I didn’t think it was possible to throw you off balance.”
“I get off balance all the time,” I shrug. “It’s how you restore the balance that makes a difference.”
She considers that for a minute. Her eyes roam over my face, then down to my tattoos. Cat focuses on the ink on my right pec. Her eyes narrow. She leans forward and pokes it.
“This looks familiar. And don’t lie to me about it either,” her eyes narrow. “I know your tells. You lied about this. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. But don’t lie to me.”
I grab her hand and kiss the inside of her wrist. “Okay. I won’t lie.”
“Tell me.”
I sit up and punch my pillow a few times before placing it between my back and the headboard. I’m stalling. I know it. But, I want to revel in this perfect moment a little longer before I blow it all to Hell.
Cat senses a shift in my mood and sits up next to me, pulling the sheet around her breasts and tucking it behind her.
My hand traces over the tattoo in question. “I grew up in South Dakota. My father was Sioux, so we lived near his tribe. My mother descended from a long line of Aztec warriors. If she hadn’t met my father in college, her parents would have arranged a marriage for her.”
Cat hisses. “What. The. Fuck?”
I shrug. “That was more than sixty years ago. Things were different then.”
“Still,” Cat shakes her head but motions for me to continue.
“An important rite of passage for my mother’s family is a vision quest. When kids reach a certain age, they go off into the wilderness to fast and pray for life guidance. We do this alone.”
“What’s a certain age?”
“I was thirteen, but most boys go between 12 and 15, depending on the tribe.”
“You went into the wilderness, alone, at the age of thirteen?” Cat’s mouth is wide open.
I shrug. “Yes.”
“Your parents let you?”
I snicker. “Not exactly. It was a source of many fights between my parents. My mother insisted, this was their family’s way, and if my father didn’t appreciate this, then she’d take me back to her tribe.”
“I think I’m going to like your mother,” Cat smiles at me.
A familiar ache tugs at my heart. “You would have. And she definitely would have loved you.”
“Past tense?”
“She died not long after my quest.”
The fight goes out of Cat, and she leans back against the headboard. “I’m sorry. You sure you want to talk about this?”
I nod. “The only other person who knows is Evelyn.”
Cat stiffens next to me.
I grab her hand in mine. “I’ll get to that part.”
