“I’m sorry,” Sophie said.
“It’s okay. I’ll survive, but…do you think you’d have time to stop by for a few minutes before we head to the Sapphire? I just really need to see you, and today’s going to be crazy.”
“Yeah, I can do that,” Sophie said. “Around nine?”
“Perfect.” Jules felt something loosen inside her at the knowledge that she would have at least a few minutes alone with Sophie today. She ended the call to hop in the shower, needing to be ready to go before Sophie arrived. The hot water felt so good, washing away yesterday’s sweat and nerves, reviving her for the day ahead.
Afterward, she dried her hair, not bothering with makeup since she’d need to do her stage makeup in a few hours anyway. She’d just finished getting dressed when the buzzer rang, announcing Sophie’s arrival. Jules rushed to the door, an entirely different sensation in her belly now, one that had nothing to do with nausea and everything to do with the woman she was about to see.
Sophie stepped through the door with a hesitant smile, holding out a large red cup. “I’m not sure exactly what it is, but the barista promised it would be good for your stomach.”
“Thank you.” Jules took the cup and pulled Sophie in for a leisurely kiss, the kind of kiss they hadn’t shared in too many days. The kind of kiss that Jules had been craving so intensely, she almost cried with relief as her lips finally met Sophie’s. “I’m so sorry,” Jules told her between kisses. “Last night…everything…”
“It’s okay,” Sophie said, but it wasn’t okay, and they both knew it.
“I missed you so much. I—” Jules pulled back, gasping for breath, reeling because she’d almost said,“I love you,”and before she could even wonder where those words had come from, she knew they were true. She’d never been in love before, not really. She’d never felt anything as intense as what she felt for Sophie, like everything was right when Jules was in her arms and wrong when she wasn’t. “I’m going to tell my mom while she’s here in town. I am.”
“Jules, it’s fine,” Sophie said. “You’ve got a lot on your plate right now, and it’s obviously stressing you out. It’ll happen when the time is right.”
She nodded as Sophie stepped out of her arms, leading the way to the couch. Jules lifted the cup Sophie had given her and took a sip. The concoction inside was thick, cold, and fruity, and actually, it was delicious. “This is perfect. Thank you.”
“Welcome,” Sophie answered. She looked over at Jules, something wistful in her expression.
Despite her earlier words, they weren’t okay. Jules could feel it in her bones. “Tell me.”
Sophie’s eyes widened. “Tell you what?”
“Whatever has you looking at me like that, like something’s happened that I don’t know about. This probably isn’t the best time to get into it, but I’ll drive myself crazy wondering in the meantime, so just tell me.”
Sophie nodded briskly. “I took the job.”
“What?” Jules took another sip of the smoothie, her brain still a little slow on the uptake, and then she almost dropped the cup. “Oh.”
“Yeah,” Sophie said, looking down at her hands.
Shit.Jules blinked back tears. “Are you sure?” Syracuse was so far away, at least in the sense of maintaining a relationship. Between theater schedules and travel time, they’d be lucky to see each other once a month.
“I’m sure,” Sophie said.
“How did you decide? I mean, why now?” They’d just had their first performance last night. How could Sophie have already decided to give that up?
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot,” Sophie said, hands clenched in her lap. “And I think it’s the right move for me. Not everyone is destined to play the lead, and maybe my future is behind the scenes. This opportunity is too good to pass up.”
“It’s a great opportunity,” Jules agreed as her tears broke free. “But I’ll miss you so much, Soph…I don’t even know how…I’m sorry. I’m being selfish.” She swiped at her cheeks, setting the cup on the table. Pippin hopped up to sniff at it.
“You’re not,” Sophie said. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way.”
“It’s not because of me, is it?” she couldn’t help asking. “Because I’m still in the closet?”
“No,” Sophie said. “But I do feel like our relationship is putting pressure on you to come out before you’re ready.”
Jules stared at her helplessly. Maybe she was reading too much into this, but she couldn’t help feeling like—on some level—Sophie was running away, from Jules, from her frustration with her Broadway career, from all of it. Or maybe she’d really, truly decided she wanted to shift gears and coach youth theater. Either way, Jules felt like her whole world had just tilted, and now she was spinning toward a reality she didn’t want to face.
“It’s for the best,” Sophie said quietly.
Jules turned toward her. “What does this mean for us?”
Sophie’s eyes fell. “I won’t be leaving the city for a few months, after the show wraps, but…maybe we should just stop here, Jules. I don’t think I can date you for a few more months and then let you go.”
