Eve restedher forehead against the door. She felt empty, hollow, drugged. Vaguely, she wondered if any of that had actually happened or if she was dreaming, caught in an endless nightmare. But the clatter of Josie’s receding footsteps in the hall outside was very real. It echoed in Eve’s heart as she remembered the press of Josie’s fingers there.
She walked to the middle of the room and stood, breathing hard as the numbness began to wear off. Josie loved her. Eve had never expected to hear those words from her lips. She hadn’t expected to hear those words ever again. She didn’t want to hear them, didn’t want to feel them, didn’t want the pain that came with any of it.
Because it hurt. It hurtso much. She pressed her own hand in the shadow of Josie’s, feeling her heart beat hard and fast, pumping pain through her veins. This hurt, but she’d recover, because it was nothing like the pain of losing Lisa, nothing like the pain of leaving her family behind. Better to nip it in the bud, before it had the chance to swallow her whole.
But as she blinked to clear her vision, she realized that letting go of Josie hurt a lot more than she’d expected it to. She walked into her bedroom, rubbing at her chest, which was bursting with the pressure of the emotions inside her, as if they’d vaporized into steam and she needed to scream until she’d let them all out.
But she wasn’t going to scream. She sat on the bed, fists clenched into her blanket as she sucked in slow, deep breaths, waiting for it to pass. Tears streamed over her cheeks, and her throat grew too painful to swallow. She hiccupped, swiping at her tears, trying to hold them back, but it was no use. Finally, she curled on her side in the bed and sobbed.
She cried until her eyes swelled and her nose ran and her chest hitched. When her tears ran out, she just lay there, eyes closed, too tired to move. Eventually, she drifted into a restless sleep, waking sometime later with a dull headache. She sat up, rubbing her eyes, which were scratchy and tender.
She took a shower, changed into her pajamas, and climbed into bed with her Kindle. And that was more or less how she spent the rest of the weekend. Was she hiding from the outside world? Absolutely. But she didn’t really care. This was the life she had chosen for herself, the life she needed.
When Monday rolled around, she blew out her hair, dressed, and went to work. At the end of the week, she’d have to return to Dragonfly to tape her follow-up segment, but until then, she would be focused on her Marlow Marketing clients, and she was going to do her best not to think about Josie—or her bar.
She kept the door to her office closed, working through lunch and often late into the evening. She’d fallen behind on some of her work this month, she’d been so caught up in…other things. And now it was time to get herself in order. It was a long, tiring week, but a necessary one.
By Friday, she was feeling almost like the woman she’d been before she pulled those kittens out of a trash can and set herself on a collision course into Josie’s welcoming arms. Tonight would be hard. She’d have to see Josie, interview her, spend hours at Dragonfly. It had been a full week since the robbery. Hopefully, Josie had gotten herself back on track.
Later that afternoon, Eve went down the hall to hair and makeup—perks of working in a television studio—and changed into the dress she’d wear for the taping. She checked in with her camera crew and with Josie herself, making sure they were ready. Josie was polite on the phone, although distant.
And if the sound of her voice made Eve’s chest ache and her eyes sting, no one needed to know about it. After tonight, she wouldn’t see Josie again. This was the last time she would step foot inside Dragonfly. That whole chapter of her life would close.
Around five, she gathered her crew and headed out, riding over in the van as she usually did when she had the film crew with her. They laughed and joked all the way there, completely oblivious to Eve’s internal turmoil. Because, after all, there was nothing unusual about her ignoring them in favor of answering emails on her phone.
When the van pulled up outside Dragonfly, she had to take an extra moment to compose herself before she stood. Emotion rolled over her in a smothering wave, constricting her lungs and leaving her in a sheen of cold sweat.
She squared her shoulders and pulled open the front door. Inside, music played, muffled beneath the buzz of conversation. The crowd was thick tonight, probably partly because of the notice on the front door about the taping, but also because Dragonfly was doing well. Josie and Adam were behind the bar, demonstrating some kind of synchronized dance move to a group of delighted women.
Josie looked up, and their eyes met. Eve steeled herself against the power of her gaze, the way it heated her from the inside out and made her whole body tingle. Would that ever go away? It didn’t really matter if they never saw each other again, did it? She schooled her expression as she approached the bar.
“Hi,” Josie said, her smile as bright as ever, although tonight it didn’t quite reach her eyes or bring out the dimples that Eve loved so much.
“You changed your hair,” she blurted, taking in Josie’s turquoise locks, the color it had been the night they met. Full circle.
“I do that a lot,” she said, tugging at a curl.
“I noticed.” Eve cleared her throat. “Okay, then. We’ll start setting up. My team will shoot footage while you work, and then I’ll do a quick interview so you can tell me how everything’s going.”
“Okay,” Josie said. “Hey, before you get started, you should go upstairs and see the kittens. You won’t believe how much they’ve grown.”
“I don’t think—”
“Eve.” Temper sparked in Josie’s hazel eyes. “Will you for once not be stubborn about the damn kittens? Just go see them. Say goodbye to them. They’re going to be adopted soon.”
“Have you found homes for them?” she asked, trying to ignore the pinch in her chest at the thought of them going to live with people she didn’t know. Somehow, it hadn’t bothered her to think of them here with Josie.
“Remember that woman who came in on opening night? Jules Vega? She wants two of them. I had been putting her off, in case you wanted to keep Blanche, but I guess I should just go ahead and let her pick whichever two she wants.” She held Eve’s gaze as she lobbed the challenge at her.
“Yes,” Eve said, looking away. “You should. But I’ll go see them to say goodbye. Thank you.”
She strode down the back hall, leaving the noise and chaos of the bar behind her. She punched in the code and let herself into the stairwell, making a mental note to tell Josie to change it. Jesus Christ, what did Eve have to do to lose her trust? How did Josie trust so easily? How did she love so endlessly when she got nothing but pain in return?
Eve walked into the apartment, steeling herself against the avalanche of memories waiting for her here. When she looked into the kitchen, she pictured Josie on the counter with a row of drinks in front of her and the kiss that had followed. In the living room, she saw herself sitting on the couch wearing Josie’s oversized pink pussy T-shirt, bottle-feeding kittens after their first night together.
The painting she’d bought the night of their gallery date hung behind the couch now, jolting Eve out of her memories with its unfamiliar presence. It looked good there, though, a perfect fit. Holding in a sigh, she walked into the living room. She’d just peek at the kittens and go, because she needed to get the hell out of there as quickly as possible.
She could already see them, running and tumbling, wrestling with each other. As she approached the playpen, Blanche ran over to greet her, putting her front paws up on the plastic barrier between them and meowing loudly. Eve reached down and lifted her. “You’re all grown up.”
