“I’m sorry,” Josie said earnestly. “Those things I told you about feeling shackled to the bar…they’re all true. But it doesn’t change the fact that I want to save it.”
“And that still doesn’t make any sense to me,” Eve said, staring at the table in front of her.
“I guess a lot of things about me have never made sense,” Josie said with a self-deprecating laugh.
Eve smiled, but it was a fake one, the kind she used on camera.
The wall between them was back up, and this time, Josie had no idea how to scale it. “What’s happening to us?”
Eve shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do.”
“I think, if we’re really honest with ourselves, we both know,” Eve said quietly.
Josie was about to retort that she didn’t, but before she could get it out, she realized Eve was right. She did know. “We did what we said we weren’t going to. We let it get serious.”
Eve didn’t move, didn’t speak. She just stared at the table, her expression blank. “I said I’d do this thing with you until it didn’t make sense anymore, and I think that time is now.”
“What?” Josie looked at her, certain she’d heard her wrong, because that sounded like…
“You need to focus on your bar, and I need to focus on my career.”
“No.” Josie’s chest tightened, like she might laugh…or cry. Because surely this wasn’t happening.
“I can’t get serious with you, Josie.” Eve kept her gaze resolutely on the table in front of her. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t do this.” Josie grabbed Eve’s hands, resisting—barely—the urge to shake her. “Please don’t do this.”
“You deserve someone who can give you all the things you want, but that person isn’t me.”
“You could be,” Josie countered, as tears swam in her eyes and the world seemed to sway beneath her feet. “The only thing I want isyou, Eve.”
“And I can’t give myself to you.” Eve’s bottom lip trembled, her palms damp against Josie’s. “I’m sorry for letting us get to this point. I should have walked away weeks ago.”
“But you didn’t, because you feel it too.” She let go of Eve’s hands and flung her arms around her instead. “If you’re going to dump me, you might as well know what you’re walking away from, because I love you, Eve. I am so hopelessly in love with you.”
Eve stiffened, tears shining in her eyes before she turned her face away. And Josie thought of the photos in her bedroom, the wife and baby she’d lost, the family who’d turned their backs on her, loss after loss etched into her heart.
Josie slid one of her hands to Eve’s chest, feeling her heart thump wildly beneath her palm. “Please just let me love you,” she whispered.
“I can’t.” Eve stood abruptly, sliding out of Josie’s grasp. “And you shouldn’t presume to know what I feel.”
“Eve…”
“Stop it,” Eve gasped as tears slid over her cheeks. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry. I’msosorry for putting you in this situation. But I just…can’t.”
Josie wrapped her arms around herself. In everything they’d been through together, she’d never seen Eve cry, and the sight of her tears now was almost more than she could take. She could keep fighting, keep pushing Eve, but to what end? Josie couldn’t pretend to know what it felt like to be in a place where rejecting love felt less painful than allowing herself to love again.
“Please.” Eve pressed a hand over her eyes, chest heaving with ragged breaths. “Just go.”
Josie swiped at her own cheeks, wet with tears. Her throat burned, and her heart hurt. She wanted to scream at the unfairness of it all. Instead, she tugged Eve’s hand from her face, meeting her tear-soaked eyes as she drew her in for a kiss. A last kiss. She poured all her love, her passion, and her heart into that kiss. When she pulled back, Eve’s pupils were dilated, her cheeks flushed.
“I love you,” Josie whispered. “You know where to find me if you change your mind.”
And then, because there was nothing else to say, she walked out the door.
* * *
