My mind was swimming, lost in a collision of past and present, my body and mind struggling to remember what was then and what was now. In the swirling sea of all of it, in the heat and the passion and the relief, in the confusion surrounding his return, I could only make sense of one thing: this was the only man I had ever loved.
CHAPTER 11
gray: ready position
If my life looked more like my Pinterest board, I’d be all set. I’d be a DIY queen (I’ve never done a DIY project in my life), have my house decorated to the nines for even the most secondary holidays (I can barely get my Christmas wreath up before December 15), and be able to bake a professional-looking wedding cake in an hour or less (I don’t even need to clarify this one). But my smoothie recipes? My smoothie recipes I referenced religiously.
Diana looked a little sleepy in the kitchen this morning, making one of the aforementioned Pinterest smoothies. “It’s Sunday,” I said. “I don’t think I can be clearer that you don’t have to work every day.”
She turned to me like I was dumb and said, “Maybe I want to see Wagner. And I’ll work more if I want to. Get over it.”
As Wagner walked into the kitchen, I said, “Okay! Prepare to be dominated.” I bounced up and down in mock ready position.
He rolled his eyes.
“Ah, there’s the eight-year-old I know.”
“I made you your favorite,” Diana whispered to Wagner.
He brightened. “The one that tastes like apple pie?”
She smiled like she was so proud and nodded. She sipped from her own straw and handed me a glass, saying, “You too.”
I took a sip, closed my eyes, and groaned. “Amazing.”
Diana looked the same, but I sensed that something was up with her. Something was a bit different. She seemed… lighter somehow.
“Y’all get out of here,” she said. “Don’t want to keep the tennis pro waiting.” She smiled at me slyly, and I tried not to laugh.
A few minutes later, I parked beside the row of tennis courts on the water. It was a hot day, but the breeze coming off the sound made it almost refreshing.
“Well, well, well,” Andrew said as Wagner stepped out of the car. “Decided to take me up on my little wager, huh?”
“Yeah!” Wagner said. “Me and Johnny are going to wipe the court with you! Look who I brought you to play with.” He pointed at me and snickered.
Andrew winked at me. “You never know. Maybe I like playing with your mom. Maybe she’s got moves you don’t know about.” I smirked, and he cleared his throat. “On the court.”
Wagner looked at me like I was a hairball on the carpet and said, “Yeah, right. Good luck, dude.” He took off running toward Johnny.
“Hey, guys, the old lady and I are going into my office to strategize a little bit.”
They were already ignoring us. Andrew pulled me into the tiny house that served as his pro shop, and I could feel the chill bumps on my arms as they hit the air-conditioning. “Holy hell,” he said, kissing me. “They might beat us because all I can think about is those legs in that skirt.”
I smiled. “This was not my idea, just so you know.”
He laughed and kissed my neck.
“You’re so cute with the boys,” I said. “Thanks for that. They need good role models.”
Andrew looked at me and said, “I think I love you.” Then his eyes got wide, and he put his hand over his mouth. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”
I stood stock-still as if maybe if I didn’t move we could erase what had just happened.
Andrew filled the silence. “But I think I do. And I just can’t stop.”
The energy in the room changed in that instant, as I felt all the color drain from my face. My heart was racing as I turned and said, “Let’s go play now, okay?” and flew out the door.
It had only been a couple of months. It was too soon. Too soon with Andrew. Too soon for someone else to tell me he loved me. Too soon for me to admit that he was more than a summer fling.
