“All right, amateurs.” Andrew pointed his racket at me. “I have the weakest player, and I’m going to play left-handed. I’m still going to destroy you!”
Wagner laughed. “Oh yeah? We’ll see about that.”
“And you know what?” Andrew said. “Forget the spin. You choose whether you want to serve or receive, give you even more of an advantage.”
“Serve!” Wagner and Johnny said simultaneously.
They met in the middle of the court. Wagner was so happy.
“Which side you want?” Andrew asked me.
“I don’t know, lefty. Which is best for you?”
He tried not to grin, but he did, just a little, and, oh my gosh, I wanted to wrap him up and kiss him all over right then and there. I motioned with my finger for him to come closer.
“I’m sorry, Gray,” he said. “I really am. I know I shouldn’t have said that, so let’s not let it make things weird.”
I nodded, and I thought about how Andrew had been so supportive on those nights away from Wagner when I’d been so sad, how he always said and did exactly the right thing. “Look. What I’ve always said about us being a summer fling and all that, that still stands.”
“I know.”
“So don’t take this the wrong way.” My face hardened, and I could see his fall. “But I think I might love you a little too.”
He grinned, pointed his racket at me, and, backing toward his side, said, “I knew it, Gray Howard. I knew it was only a matter of time.”
Even in that happy moment, it made me sad to realize that I knew it too. He was adorable. But this wasn’t going anywhere. It was only a matter of time.
diana: north
I couldn’t figure out why I was trying to keep Frank out of the picture, why I’d told him I had to go to Gray’s that morning when I knew she wasn’t expecting me. It was like I woke up and everything I had dreamed of over the past twenty years had happened. It was exactly like I’d imagined it. Magical. Perfect. Hot. In a lot of ways, it was like no time had passed at all. Well, I mean, my boobs were a hell of a lot lower and my ass was kind of jiggly, but otherwise everything was the same.
As I was cleaning out the blender, I was mulling over what had me so panicked. All I’d thought about forever was him. I hated saying it even to myself, but Frank was the whole reason I never got married. Well, plus the fact that I had managed to attract every loser on the East Coast. I sprayed off the counter and took a real deep breath. It was time to go back. It was time to get that happiness I’d dreamed about all this time.
Frank was just sitting there at that cute kitchen table, and when I walked in, before I’d even got in the door good, he said, “Diana, we’ve spent too many years apart to play around like this now. I want our life together to start now. I want us to get to know each other again.”
I wanted it too, but something in me needed just a little time to get my bearings, like I’d been thrust out in the middle of the ocean and was trying to figure which way was north. I went over to make the bed and began tidying up before I turned to look at him. “But what if you don’t like the ‘old’ me?”
He smiled. “I don’t see anyone old in this room.”
I was spraying off the already clean countertops when Frank pulled me to him, the bottle and paper towels trapped between us. He kissed me, and, oh my Lord, how I had prayed for that kiss, how I had longed for it, pined for it, wished up and down for it to be mine again. I dropped that bottle to the floor and wrapped myself all around him. Frank hoisted me onto the counter, and I couldn’t help but feel like we were making up for lost time.
“Hey,” he whispered, “do we need to worry about, you know, protection?”
I shook my head, thinking that if he was worried about me getting pregnant today, maybe he should’ve thought about it a little bit last night too. “No,” I said. “I can’t get pregnant.”
I was so caught up in the moment that I only thought about it for a second. That day Robin had sped down the road with me half hallucinating in the passenger seat, my fever was so high. I don’t even really remember much, just that IV in my arm and finally starting to sweat the fever away and that doctor saying that I’d got some kind of infection, and I wouldn’t ever have any kids of my own. It had messed me up, sure. But, way deep down, I’d felt kind of relieved. I mean, my momma, she’d left all us kids to fend for ourselves, just left us like the garbage on the back porch. At least I’d never be that kind of momma.
I felt my hands unbuttoning his pants as if by memory, and, somehow, now that Frank was here, now that Frank was back, none of that mattered anymore. I wanted to be cautious. Iwanted to take it slow. I wanted not to make a mistake. But I had spent years waiting for this man.
What seemed like hours later, I was kissing Frank good-bye at the bottom of the steps. “Diana, please,” he said, “I know you. Don’t go back up there and get all in your own head and decide you’re not sure. This is right. This is us. This isit. Just be sure, okay?”
I smiled. “Okay, Frank. I have to take a breath to think about it all. I can’t just rush into it again. I got my heart broke real bad last time.”
He kissed me and rubbed his thumb across my cheek. “But last time I didn’t know, Di. Last time we were kids. Last time we were making all our mistakes. I’m done with mistakes. I only want to make it right with us.”
Butterflies and sighs. I didn’t think of myself as one of those sappy women, but, damn. When a man talks to you like that, it’s hard not to feel kind of sucked in. He opened the door and walked outside.
I heard Gray’s voice say, “Oh, hi.”
