It was a very hot day, and I was afraid that if everyone had champagne, someone would faint.
“No toasts,” I said. “They would ruin my beautiful makeup.”
Vivi came running up the stairs, her voice ahead of her. “Gransley!” she shouted. “It’s time, it’s time!”
I slipped into my beautiful pale-blue lace gown, and with a zip and three final kisses, we were off.
Twenty minutes later, I stood beside Jack on the sandbar where we had met, up at a makeshift altar of two wooden crosses covered with peonies. As I was about to pledge my life to him, I noticed the scar above his right eyebrow. And for just a second, I was back in that teenage night when we had jumped off the bridge, when I had felt so alive. It hadn’t been until we got back to shore that I’d realized there was blood pouring out of Jack’s right eyebrow. When he’d grabbed his legs, his knee had jerked up, his head went down, and the force had given him a cut that resulted in three stitches at the emergency room and a scar forever.
That was the moment I knew, the moment I knew I was in love with him, the moment I knew that everything else I would ever do would pale in comparison to this love I felt for him. He had helped me face my fear—and had gotten hurt in the process. But he didn’t care. All he cared about was me. And when I saw that scar over his eyebrow now, it was a reminder of that fact. I had never felt so sure about anything as I did about this.
Today, on this makeshift altar with the sun shining and the water sparkling around us, his eyes filled with tears, and mine did, too. My one hope was that I would be able to hold it together through my vows, but I knew now that wasn’t a possibility. Because, as I stood there, I didn’t really see Jack the fifty-nine-year-old man. I saw Jack the teenager who had changed me, who had made me believe that life was full of wonder and possibility, that what we lived through and the things that changed us were beautiful no matter what. I saw the twenty-something Jack I had asked an unaskable favor, the one who had willingly given me the one thing Carter and I couldn’t have—children—without asking me for anything in return. Not even my love.
It hadn’t all been easy between us. There had been fights and disagreements, heartbreaks and pain. But through it all, from that very first day, there had been love. I looked out all around us at the water surrounding our strip of sand. Jack and me on our own little island. Only, as I winked at my brother Scott, who was standing behind Jack, I realized that we weren’t an island. We were surrounded by our best friends, our precious family members. And now, finally, after all these years, we were going to be family, too.
Hal stood between us, officiating, and over his shoulder the sun was beginning to set, making its way through the sky and into the marsh grass. And when Hal said, “Ansley, do you take Jack to be your lawfully wedded husband?” I said, “I do,” so quickly that everyone laughed. Jack squeezed my hands.
With the birds chirping and the fish jumping and the boats of the people who had known us as long as we had been us anchored all around, Jack and I promised to love each other forever.
Our vows seemed almost redundant at this point, because I knew that whether Jack and I had ever gotten together again, whether we had ever gotten married, I would have loved him forever anyway. And I liked to believe that no matter what, he would have loved me forever, too. Still, I felt the tears pouring down my face as he said, “Ansley, the first time I ever saw you, right here in this spot, I knew that you were going to be a part of me for the rest of my life. There have been times over the past forty-three years when I felt like you were everything. You were my purpose. As you well know, life can be cruel, and it can be unforgiving, and it can often be unexpected. For that reason, there’s not a whole lot I can promise. But I can promise you that I will love you until my dying breath.”
The sand felt cool and moist beneath my feet. I felt so grounded to this place, to this moment in time, like the past and the future were converging here on this same strip of sand where I had first seen that sandy-haired boy who had stolen my heart at fifteen.
I can’t say whether it was right or wrong, but I couldn’t help but think of Carter then, and I knew that some of those tears I was shedding were for him, too. Because I had stood in front of him this same way, and I had vowed to love him until death parted us. And death had parted us. But even though he might be gone, I knew that I would love him forever and for always, just as I would love Jack. And somehow that made this moment seem even bigger.
“Jack,” I began, “you have proven your devotion to me time after time in all the years we have been a part of each other’s lives. And now I promise that I will love you with that same devotion, that same tenderness, and that same forgiveness with which you have always loved me. I will love you until death parts us, and then I will love you for an eternity after that, because this one life we have is simply not enough. But you, Jack, are always enough. And today I promise that you always will be.”
Jack kissed me then to seal our vows, and it really did feel like the first time. And in so many ways, it was. For Jack and me, this was a fresh start, a new day. It was the beginning of a time in our lives that represented freedom. No secrets, no lies, no hiding. Jack and I and our life together, the one we had dreamed of for so many years. I kissed him back, wholeheartedly, and I felt the tears coming down my cheeks again, because we were here. After so many years of heartache and uncertainty, so many years when things hadn’t been right or good between us, we had made it to the other side. And it was going to be perfect.
I grinned at each of my daughters, and they grinned back at me. They were radiant in their pale-blue gowns. I noticed that Vivi was feeding Preston, AJ, and Taylor marshmallows to keep them quiet, and I laughed.
It occurred to me how Emerson must be feeling right now, watching her mother get married in what was supposed to beherceremony. But when I looked over at her, my Emmy looked as happy as I had seen her in a long time.
Jack and I walked back down the aisle, grinning from ear to ear and pausing to stop in the middle of the aisle to kiss to thunderous applause from the crowd. Hal and Mrs. McClasky gathered everyone into the boats. My brothers congratulated me.
“Mom would be so happy right now,” Scott said, laughing.
John nodded in agreement. “Wherever they are, Ans, I know Mom and Dad are so proud.” He squeezed my hand. “Thanks for letting me walk you down the aisle. I can’t tell you what that meant.”
As he wiped his eyes, Scott said, “OK. We’ll leave you two lovebirds alone.”
And then there were two. We sat down in the chairs that had previously held our guests and drank the champagne that had been left for us.
“To my wife,” Jack said.
“To my husband.”
We clinked our glasses, as the sun sank farther in the sky.
“I honestly cannot believe it,” Jack said. “I wanted to trap you in a closet somewhere yesterday so that nothing could go wrong and make you change your mind again.” He paused. “Or, you know, something less creepy and kidnapper-ish.”
I leaned over and kissed him. “I still can’t believe you sacrificed that hot young blonde for me.”
Jack laughed. “You are way hotter,” he lied. “Plus, youth is overrated. I’ll take middle age any day—especially now.”
“I will, too,” I agreed.
“How do you think Emerson’s doing?” he asked.
