I couldn’t believe it when Caroline very solemnly rose and said, “As owner of one of the largest lots in downtown Peachtree Bluff, I think this is a wonderful idea. I would love to have a goat in my yard.”
Jack burst out laughing, and I couldn’t help but chuckle. The mere idea of Caroline with a goat was too much to take.
Emerson said, “If this gets passed, you are so screwed. You’re going to have to get a goat.”
Caroline scoffed. “Please. There is no way this is going to get passed.”
A few more people stood up and voiced their concerns for the goat movement. Mayor Bob said, “We have time for one more comment.”
That was when Mrs. McClasky, Hippie Hal’s nemesis, made her move. She and her hot-pink crop pants and white Keds climbed up onto that stage, and she wagged her finger.
“There is a reason we have a no-livestock ordinance in Peachtree Bluff. Not only does livestock spread disease, but it also creates a noise problem.” She paused to put her hands over her ears. “All that infernal bleating—and the feces smell? Why spend all this time, energy, and money preserving our town’s homes and keeping our downtown beautiful only to have it smell like goat waste as you drive in?”
“Why is she so unpleasant?” Jack whispered to me.
“I don’t know. Maybe she has had a hard life.”
I handed my phone to Jack. He put his hand over his heart. “Oh, Ansley, I want to see you walking down the aisle in this.”
I smiled ironically. “No such luck. This is my mother-of-the-bride dress.”
“You’re joking.”
Mrs. McClasky sighed and looked over at Hal. “Why can’t you just let yards be yards? With grass and flowers. No bikes. No goats. Just grass like God intended.”
And this is where I felt it all go south for her. She had made great points. She was right. But Hal was popular, and she had made it personal.
Mayor Bob asked, “All in favor of having goats downtown?”
I raised my hand as a pity gesture. Almost all the hands in the room went up.
“All opposed?”
Only nine hands.
“Oh, my God.” Emerson was hysterical. “Caroline!” She was laughing so hard she could hardly breathe. “Now you have to get a... a...”
Now Jack and I were laughing, too, as Emerson finished, “Goat.”
I thought she was going to fall off her chair.
Caroline looked at me in shock. “What is wrong with these people? Who would agree to goats in people’s yards in downtown Peachtree?”
Hal came over, a surprised look on his face. “Caroline, I’ll let you know when your goat comes in.”
“Oh, well—actually—” Caroline stammered, but Hal was already gone. That set us all off again.
“James is going to be furious,” Emerson said, still laughing.
Now Caroline smiled. “He is, isn’t he?” She nodded. “Well, silver lining.”
Twenty minutes later, after talking to everyone who wanted to congratulate Caroline on a successful goat campaign, we were leaving the pub. We usually walked down Main Street to get home, but tonight Jack said, “Let’s take the alley.” He raised his eyebrows. “I hear it’s haunted at night.”
I smiled. Caroline and Emerson were a few steps in front of us, and when I heard their piercing screams, I thought maybe they had seen a ghost.
I looked ahead of them to see Hippie Hal’s back... and Mrs. McClasky leaned against the brick wall, her hair disheveled. They pulled away quickly, but it was too late.
“Hippie Hal, you dirty dog,” Jack said.
