Caroline shook her head, her expression now incredulous. “I didn’t even think of that! Poor Dad. He would be furious if he knew. He would feel so betrayed.”
I had opened this can of worms. We were in it now.
“This is so unfair to him,” I said. “I can’t believe Mom would do this. I mean, why not just pick a sperm donor like any other normal person?”
“I think the thing I’m maddest about is that you found out this way, right before your wedding,” Caroline said. “I mean, how could Mom be so insensitive and careless?”
At that moment, the door opened, and Mom said nonchalantly, “What was I insensitive and careless about this time?”
Little did she know, she had just walked into a hornet’s nest.
NINETEEN
ansley: insensitive
Ihad begged Caroline to come back to Peachtree Bluff. Pleaded with her. But the minute I walked into that conference room and saw her sitting with Sloane and Emerson at my table, I wished I hadn’t.
Because as soon as the three of them looked up at me, I knew they knew. And when the three of them combined forces, nothing could overtake them.
Caroline looked at Sloane resolutely, and Sloane bit her lip. Oh, gosh. Here it was. They were finally going to confront me about Jack being their father. And I was terrified but also almost glad. We could get it out in the open, get it over with. We could deal with the emotions. I could tell the truth. It would be long and hard, but we would repair. We could finally move on.
I repeated, “What was I insensitive and careless about this time?”
Caroline gave me that steely look that is her most terrifying: unnaturally calm and unnerving to absolutely no end. “Sit down,” she said, pointing to the empty chair at the table.
I stood up straighter—just in case I needed to run.
“We need to know, Mom,” Sloane said. “Once and for all. Is Jack our sperm donor?”
I swallowed hard. Technically, no, he was not their sperm donor. He was much more than that. Jack had made love to me the way he had all those years ago in Peachtree Bluff when we first met. And it was as if time and reason simply slipped away. And suddenly, like I had always wanted, I had one daughter and then another. And they had been made out of so much love.
But that was something my girls would never know. Carter knew it. I knew it. Jack knew it. The rest of the world wouldn’t understand what we had been through, couldn’t imagine why I would do something so seemingly wrong.
I looked at each of my girls, memorizing their faces, not sure what was going to come next but knowing that the truth was out. And I had to face it head-on. How I said it didn’t really matter now. All that mattered was that they forgave me. Because they were not only my daughters but also my best friends. And they deserved the truth.
So I said simply, “Yes. He is. Jack is your father.”
We all sat in an unsettling silence.
“I do not understand,” Sloane said slowly, “how you could live with a lie like that for all these years.” She sounded more sad than angry.
“I never lied to you, Sloane,” I said as calmly as possible, just wanting this to all go away. “I told the three of you from a time that most people would agree was way too early that you and Caroline had a sperm donor, that your father wasn’t biologically your father. You have known this your entire life.”
“Mom, come on,” Caroline said. “You can’t honestly believe that our knowing we had a sperm donor is the same thing as knowing that our sperm donor is our soon-to-be stepfather.”
I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. “I don’t expect you to understand,” I said. “But when your father and I found out he couldn’t have children, I couldn’t stand the idea of half your genes coming from a total stranger. I wanted my babies to be made out of love. And Jack and I had loved each other. In another life, in another time, in another world, I could have had children with him. It made sense.” I paused. “At the time, anyway.”
It wasn’t the whole truth, and it certainly left out the part that the insemination wasn’t artificial. But it was all the truth they needed to know.
The door was standing half open, and from my vantage point, I could see Kyle’s head peeking in at exactly the same time Emerson said, “Well, congratulations! Your dad is still alive, and you four get to be one big, happy family.” She burst into tears and ran out the door, brushing past a stunned Kyle.
He stared at us, wide-eyed. “I havegotto work on my timing.” Then, without missing a beat, he followed Emerson out the door.
I had to consider that his timing couldn’t possibly be better.
“How could you, Mom?” Caroline asked, seething now.
“Emerson heard you and Jack talking, Mom,” Sloane interrupted. “She is the one who came and told us. She is the one who found out first. And you know how sensitive she is, especially right now.”
