After our dual confessions, we were partners in crime, with a bond that we didn’t really share with anyone else. He was the only one who knew my secret, besides Mark. And I planned to keep it that way.
Instead of answering him, I shrugged. I thought about it ten times a day, that moment when Grammy was breathing and then she wasn’t. And it was because of me. It was because of the glass of water I poured her. The pills I handed her.
“OK, I guess. I don’t think about it as much. How about you?”
He nodded. “Doing mission work makes me feel like I’m atoning for my sins.”
“Do you think it works like that?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Who knows? Can’t hurt.”
Scott set his backpack on a chair in the corner of the downstairs guest room. Grammy’s room.
Before I could say anything, I heard Vivi screaming from the other room, “I’m not going to, and you can’t make me!” Her voice was promptly followed by the sound of the front door slamming.
“What the hell?” I asked, walking into the entrance hall and finding a mystified Caroline.
“It’s like the hormones have kidnapped her and taken her forever. I thought I had until she was a teenager before I had to deal with all this.”
“What is she not doing and you can’t make her?” I asked.
“Having a twelfth birthday party.”
I burst out laughing, and so did Scott.
“You bitch,” he said. “Why would you evensuggestshe have a birthday party? Of all the cruel and unforgiving things.”
“I know,” Caroline said, lightening now. “I am a total monster.”
“I’ll talk to her,” I said. “She still seems to like me.”
“So you say,” Caroline said.
“Maybe she’s having anxiety about getting older,” Scott said. We all laughed again.
I walked out the front door to look for Vivi, but she was nowhere to be found. So I walked upstairs and out onto the second-floor deck, where she seemed to be spending quite a bit of time lately. I had been planning to head to the beach earlier, before all hell had broken loose, but I figured this was as good a place as any to admire the view. I took off my cover-up to catch a few rays while I waited for her.
I leaned back on the chaise and placed my sunglasses over my eyes, ready to relax. A few moments later, however, I heard voices downstairs. I opened one eye to peer through the slats in the railing and saw Mom and Jack, their backs to me on his downstairs porch next door, looking through old photo albums. The way the houses were built so close together and the way the wind was blowing, I could hear their voices almost better than if I had been sitting beside them, which was super-annoying. I was trying to sneak in a nap if I could. My doctor had said I needed rest, right?
I was feeling stronger every day. Every other week, I had an iron IV, and on the off weeks, I got what was known as a Myers’ Cocktail, a fun little intravenous bag filled with vitamin C and other great goodies. I felt absolutely amazing. I was trying to eat regularly and exercise a normal amount and generally take care of myself. I would be on set again two days after the wedding, and I needed to feel my best.
“I wish I had been there,” Jack was saying to Mom.
She laughed. “Yeah. That’s because you’ve never done middle-of-the-night feedings and colic. It wasn’t all fun and games.” She pointed to another photo. “Oh, I love this one,” Mom said. “Caroline wouldn’t leave the house without that pink tutu.”
“Whoa,” Jack said.
“Oh, my gosh,” Mom echoed. “Sloane looks exactly like your baby pictures in this one.”
I shot up in my chaise, all the hairs on the back of my neck standing up, though I couldn’t piece together what I was hearing just yet.
“Do you think now that we’re engaged, it’s the right time to tell them?” Jack asked.
My heart started pounding. I wanted to run inside at top speed, because I knew whatever I was overhearing was something I would wish I hadn’t.
“I don’t want to ruin Emerson’s wedding,” Mom said.
“Right,” Jack said. “But it seems like she would care least of all.”
