“Here’s a good one for you,” he said. “I think you are the most amazing woman I have ever known, and I think you act beautifully.”
I smiled and bit my lip, looking down at my feet, trying to keep the tears from coming down my cheeks. Why was the wrong person always saying the right words?
“You can tell me,” he said. He took my hand and put it on his chest, on his heart, making mine beat faster. It was so warm and the tiniest bit damp from the heat. “You have to feel the power in saying your truth out loud.”
“You were right,” I whispered. “A few weeks ago. You were right. Mark and I will never have what Sloane and Adam have or what Caroline and James have or what Mom and Jack have.” I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. “He wants something I can’t give him,” I said, my voice breaking. “He wants me to be someone I’m not.”
Kyle scooted close to me and put his arms around me until my tears were mingling with the layer of perspiration on his chest. And though it was hard not to feel attracted to someone so hot holding you so close and resting his head on yours, really, what I felt was safe.
My heart was pounding, and I realized I wasn’t crying anymore. Instead, I was only thinking about what might happen if I moved my head up an inch, if I put my mouth on Kyle’s. I had done it before. What if I did it again? I knew I was engaged. I knew it was wrong. But I had this feeling deep inside like this kiss would solve all my problems, be the answer to all my prayers. It wouldn’t, of course. But I was a pro at making these mistakes.
Kyle squirmed, slipping his arm underneath my legs and standing up like I weighed nothing. My arms were around his neck, he was holding me like he was going to carry me over the threshold, and our faces were so close that I knew this was it. This was the moment. I knew it, and he knew it, and I couldn’t hold myself back any longer. I had to kiss him. But as I leaned in, I felt myself flying through the air, and right before I hit the water, I realized it: he had thrown me in, that bastard. The water felt cold and refreshing and just salty enough. I felt a splash beside me, and as we both came up for air, Kyle and I were laughing.
Laughing like children. Laughing like I hadn’t laughed in a long time.
I treaded water with my feet and leaned my head back to make my hair trail perfectly down my back in one long, straight line. When I was little, it used to make me feel like a mermaid.
“You are perfect, Kyle,” I said. “Why haven’t you found someone to settle down with?”
Kyle shrugged. “Oh, you know...” He trailed off.
“Just waiting to find the right one?” I filled in for him.
He shook his head. “No, Em. I’m waiting for her to find me.”
TWENTY-NINE
ansley: starlite sisters
When I woke up that morning, the first thing I did was the same thing I did every morning: I looked out the window and thought about how incredibly lucky I was to live in such a beautiful place. I was so distracted by the sun and the glittering sea, which is always most beautiful after a storm, if you ask me, that it took me a few moments to realize that the person I was watching hug Emerson on the dock wasn’t Mark. It was Kyle.
I held my breath as he picked her up and threw her in the water. Had he told her? They were both laughing, but that was all I could see. Not that I thought she would call things off with Mark under any circumstances. But honestly, this was Emerson. She was impulsive. Who knew what she would do? I couldn’t wait to test the waters at Caroline’s brunch.
She was so sullen when we all gathered to celebrate my firstborn’s birthday that I had to assume he had told her, that she was grappling with a major life decision. I wanted to help, but I presumed if she wanted my help, she would have told me.
James had set up a gorgeous bar on the huge lawn of the house that he technically owned, even though Sloane and Adam were currently living in it. Ellie Mae the goat, who had become a treasured family pet, had to be tied up in the yard to keep her from eating the provisions at the Bloody Mary bar.
I did wonder why there was only a bar. But then he said, “Actually, guys, we won’t be eating here.”
The twelve of us dutifully followed James like baby ducklings behind a mother duck. We started down to the docks, and I looked at Jack, assuming that we were going to the boat, but he shrugged.
But as James led Caroline aboard a pristine Hinckley Picnic Boat, I realized that we weren’t boarding Jack’s boat after all. Three girls in matching white dresses were fussing over a huge spread of food on a table that had been set up across the stern, and as I stepped over onto the boat’s deck, James pulled Caroline to him and kissed her head. “Happy birthday, baby.”
She smiled up at him. “Brunch looks amazing. Thank you for going to all this trouble.”
“No, no,” he said, laughing. “The brunch isn’t the present. The boat is.”
Caroline and I gasped in unison.
“We can keep it here or in the Hamptons. Wherever you want. I thought it was high time you had a boat of your very own.”
Caroline kissed him and smiled. “James, that is the most thoughtful thing you’ve ever done for me.”
I agreed. It was extravagant, sure. But it wasn’t really about that. It was more that James had put so much thought into getting something that Caroline would really enjoy. It wasn’t another piece of jewelry to adorn her; it was something she would truly use.
As a mother, that meant a lot to me, but not nearly as much as when I heard Caroline say, “Oh, my God. Thename.”
“The name?” I asked.
