“Oh.” Fallon swallowed hard. “I…I like that one.”
“Yeah?” Gage bit his lip. “I’m trying to be careful. I don’t ever want to make you feel, you know…not like yourself?”
Fallon shook his head. “It doesn’t work that way for me. I like soft things. Tender things. I like fuzzy faux fur, and my favorite colors are pastels.”
“I know,” Gage murmured.
Fallon smiled and grazed a kiss over Gage’s jaw. “You make me feel like myself, just the way you are with me. And I like that I’m yours.”
Gage tightened his grip around him and held him. “Can we talk about Mango a little more this evening?”
Fallon pulled back and frowned. “Is it too much?—”
Gage shook his head. “No. The opposite. I think…I think I need to know that you’re okay with me being all in. That I’m part of this too.”
Eyes widening in understanding, Fallon grabbed Gage’s hand and pressed it to his ever-rounding stomach. It was hard to see under the clothes they’d bought him, but it was so different to feel it. “We are yours. Okay? And we can talk about it all later.”
Gage sighed and put his hands around Fallon’s back, tugging him close. He still felt a bit hazy from his medication, but he was on solid ground again. “I’ll probably fall apart a few more times. I don’t think this is close to being over. But I feel better now that I let some of it out.”
“Good.” Fallon gave Gage all of his body weight. “I’m glad you came here. This is my safe space too, when the world is closing in on me.”
The fact that they shared this meant something important, and Gage tucked it away to examine later when he had made up with his dads and had a clearer head.
Sitting in the driveway, Gage took several deep breaths as he stared at the dim light shining through his dads’ front window. He knew what they’d be doing—either lounging on the couch watching TV or on the patio being gross and making out.
Either one of those things would be safe to interrupt. Adele had a rule that Gage could come over anytime, no matter what, without knocking. So any funny business that would scar him literally for life had to be kept behind closed doors.
“You’re scared,” Fallon said.
Gage glanced over at him. His medication had worn off almost entirely, so he was jumpy and anxious again, but not as bad as he’d been before. Mostly, it was the guilt eating at him. He’d said far worse things to Adele, but this felt…different.
He had no idea why.
“I just want to get it over with. Logically, I know my dad’s probably not mad at me. At least, not in any significant way. But the guilt sucks.”
Fallon took his hand and kissed his wrist. “Better to do it fast so you’re not just sitting here thinking about it.”
Gage couldn’t argue with that. He got out and waited for Fallon to lock the car and follow him up the ramp and to the front door. A small part of him wanted to knock. He felt strangely unwelcome by the closed door, which was absurd, but it was what it was.
He turned the handle anyway and thought,If it doesn’t open, they don’t want me here anymore.
It opened.
He immediately heard the TV on low, and when Gage turned the corner to the living room, he saw Kash spread out on thecouch with Adele’s head in his lap. They were both awake, Adele’s eyes instantly on him.
He didn’t sit up right away.
Gage swallowed heavily. “Um. I brought—” He stepped back and tugged Fallon forward, who almost stumbled before Gage caught him. “Shit, sorry. I—this is Fallon. You, uh…you know him.”
Adele sat up and raked fingers through his hair. “I know him. It’s good to see you again.”
He didn’t sound like himself. He was subdued. He was not happy to see Gage. At all.
Swallowing heavily, he said, “Can we talk?”
“I don’t know,” Adele said. He stood up. “I’m not in the best headspace for any more fighting.”
Gage’s throat went hot and tight. “I don’t want to fight. Shit—shit. I, uh…” His voice cracked. He didn’t want to break down. Not like this.
