Gage held up his hands in surrender. “No deets. But you get the picture. And I want to do this with him. I just don’t know how to tell him. And if I do say something, what if he thinks I’m some jackass who always has to play the hero?—”
“Yeah, because that’s not your vibe at all,” Lucas snarked.
Humiliation hit him, and he bowed his head. “Shit. Is this a hero complex thing?”
“Maybe,” Lucas said. “But I also think you’d be super fucking into him even if you hadn’t, you know, decked his shitty ex in the face.”
“Yeah?”
Lucas groaned. “Come on, bruh. He’ssoyour type. Quiet, kind of anxious, and you obviously have a thing for us sexy bitches with the ’tism.”
“Oh, fuck off. Two people is not a pattern. And I’m not in love with you.”
Lucas burst into laughter and walked forward, hands out until he found Gage. “No, you’re not in love with me. But you love the shit out of me. And hey, who can blame you? Fallon and I are badass, even when we’re not.”
Gage softened. “I want to tell him, but it feels unfair right now. He’s dealing with so much, and I don’t want the way I feel to be one more thing he has to manage.”
“I get that.” Lucas gripped Gage’s hands. “I went through it too, you know? Frankie and I…it was complicated, even when it was easy. Even when loving him was the only thing that made sense.”
Gage tipped his head down and closed his eyes. It was like that with Fallon too. The world outside their little bubble was sharp edges and jagged stones beneath their feet. It was cold and very lonely. But the moment they were behind a closed door, wrapped up in each other, nothing else mattered.
If only he could keep that feeling, but he knew better.
He’d lived too much life in his twenty-four years to believe things would ever be simple.
His phone buzzed in his pocket, his alarm letting him know he had to be back at the station. “Shit.”
“A call?”
“Nope. Just a bunch of hungry assholes who want your sandwiches.”
Lucas snorted and pulled back. “Say less and get comfy. I’ll be done soon. And,” he added as he turned toward his counter and began to pull out bread, “this conversation doesn’t need to be over. You know I’m here whenever you need me. However you need me.”
“I know,” Gage said. And that helped, because it was the truth.
Gage didn’t know what to expect from the clinic. He definitely didn’t expect Fallon to invite him back, and that was something he was right about. Fallon was nervous and apologetic—almost like he felt guilty for wanting to go in alone, but Gage simplysqueezed his hand and whispered, “I’m not going anywhere. Have them come get me if you need me.”
Fallon hadn’t needed him. But he had gone in looking like he was going to shake his bones right out of his skin and came out with a smile on his face, looking like someone had lifted a thousand pounds off his shoulders.
He took Gage’s hand as they walked out to the car, and when they were inside, he leaned over and kissed him.
“Oh,” Gage said as he pulled back. “Thank you?”
Fallon dropped his head against the seat and closed his eyes. “Sorry, I needed that.”
“So…everything’s okay?”
“Everything is great. He was great. He’s trans.” Fallon’s lips settled in a soft, relieved smile. “My nurse was nonbinary. They didn’t misgender me. They didn’t…” He went quiet for a beat. “I thought even with a queer doctor, it might still feel, you know. Like women’s care?”
“Yeah.” Gage didn’t know. He didn’t get it. It wasn’t his experience. But understood those clinics and had seen those lobbies. They were very…pink and femme and all about the feminine gift of giving life and shit like that.
He’d never really paid attention to it. None of that was stuff he internalized because he hadn’t needed to.
Until now.
This clinic’s lobby was a lot of soothing earth tones with little fountains on tables and music playing that reminded him of a massage parlor. It was soft lighting and essential oil scents and probably the most calm he’d felt in a while.
“The baby’s fine,” Fallon said after a beat. He pressed his hand to his stomach. “I didn’t, you know, fuck things up by not seeing a doctor until now.”
