Seeing the care and concern in their eyes reflecting back at me made my heart wobble with both comfort and indecision. Part of me wanted to beg Qwill to fuck me until I felt better, but I knew that wasn't the answer. In the past, I'd bury my feelings in meaningless sex and even though sex with Qwill wasn't even remotely close to meaningless, I didn't want to submerge my emotions in multiple orgasms so I could forget about them. I needed to feel right now so I could move past everything.
I couldn't shake that an impromptu group session was in order.
“I’d love if you guys stayed,” I finally said, realizing that the last thing I wanted at the moment was to be alone. I had peoplethat cared for me and being surrounded by that energy felt like the best thing for me. “I really appreciate you guys being here.”
“Of course.” Bas beamed. “You're my bestie.”
The apartment door pried open as Troian stepped inside, making sure to lock the door behind him. Looking at him sent multiple emotions waving throughout my system. Considering I'd only been taken because the Rhodes twins thought I was Troian, I think for the sake of me moving beyond the horror I'd experienced, I needed to talk out some of my feeling with him.
“If you guys don't mind,” I promoted, turning back to the group of men that had become my safe space. “I’d like to talk to my brother. Alone, if that's okay.”
“Of course.” Qwill said instantly, the arm around my waist griping at my hip and squeezing me tight.
“We can wait downstairs for the pizza to make it easier on the DoorDasher.” Bas smiled, grabbing Kroven's hand. “We'll be back.”
I paused their leave to hug Bas tightly, feeling his one free hand crawl across my back. “Thank you, Bas. I appreciate you so much.”
“Of course.” Bas said back, smiling as we came out of the embrace.
He lead Kroven back toward the door of the apartment and I stared into Qwill's kind golden eyes as he placed a quick kiss on my lips.
“Just text one of us when you're ready for us to come back up.”
“I will.” I assured him, pulling him in for another kiss so his touch could linger on me a little longer.
Sooner than I would have liked, Qwill closed the door behind him, leaving Troian and I alone in the apartment. I turned around to face him, Troian leaning against the kitchen counter, his head hung in despair and unable to look me in theeye. When he realized I was staring at him, he lifted his head and let me see the tears wetting his eyes and begging for release.
“Thayer, I amsosorry.” He choked on his words like they were lacerating his throat as they bubbled their way up. “They wanted me and you got caught in the middle and—”
“And you would be dead right now.” I solidified. “The only reason they didn't kill me right away is because I wasn't you.”
Sobs filled the apartment as Troian broke. Tears flowed from his face as he scrapped a hand across his face and let out small cries of anguish. Unable to allow him to breakdown alone, I closed the space between us and wrapped my arms around my brother, feeling my own emotional dam break as our sobs intertwined.
I'm not sure how long we stayed there, holding each other and crying. The last time we'd done this had been when we'd learned of our parents' death. But I let it flow. If Troian was going to be vulnerable enough to let out his guilt and horror over what had transpired with the Rhodes twins, then I could to. It was fucked that I'd simply been kidnapped because Troian and I were identical twins, but I didn't blame him. Maybe it would have been easier to award him the blame, but that wouldn't be right. It wasn't my brother's fault that he'd inadvertently married into the craziest family dynamic anyone had ever heard of.
Feeling an extraordinary need to tell him, I pulled apart from him, ending the embrace so I could wipe my face with the back of my shirt sleeve.
“Troian, I don't blame you for what happened. It's not your fault. I know me saying that won't necessarily eliminate your guilt, but I need you to know that I don't fault you for what they decided to do.”
He nodded, mimicking my earlier action and wiping the face we shared. “I appreciate that. And I think you're right. If they'd succeeded in capturing me, I'd probably be dead right now. ButI still feel awful that you had to experience something that was meant for me.”
“I know.” I placed a hand on his shoulder, looking evenly into the brown eyes we shared. “But we're both alive. And that's what matters.”
“I’m going to call Madison here in a bit,” he said with vigor. “She'll want to know what Cheyenne and Casper were up to. Did they say who told them to try and kill me?”
“They said it was Warren.”
Troian let out a scoff. “Fucking Warren.” When I didn't react, he added, “Warren's the oldest, the only Rhodes sibling older than Madison. He's poised to take over running all this crazy shit when Archie finally dies.”
“Well, if his first decree flying solo is having you killed, you really need to figure out how to either get in better standing with them or how to disappear.”
“I agree. I'll talk it over with Madison. Maybe she can tell me what she thinks I should do.” His demeanor shifted, souring his even expression. “As much as I don't want to, I might have to leave Piper. If anything like this would happen to you again because of me, I'd never forgive myself, Thayer.”
The thought of Troian leaving Piper again felt crushing. We'd only just finally gotten to a place where we were back to being family again, back to being real brothers again. I didn't want Troian to leave. But I also didn't want to fall on a blade meant for him again either. Hell, the fact that this insane family was willing to kill him simply because he'd gotten some money from his husband's death was absolutely ridiculous. If I'd learned anything from my time with the police, it was that everyone believed that the Rhodes family was above the law, regardless of how they felt about that fact. They were hard to pin down, and even harder to get them to admit fault. Loopholes and blackmail must have been their usual dealings to get out of situations like this, but I wanted them behind fuckingbars for what they'd done to me and what they wanted to do to Troian.
“Talk to Madison,” I agreed. “Then we can go from there. But for the record, I don't want you to go. It feels like we're finally back to a good place and I love having you back.”
“I know.” Troian shook his head. “I don't want to go either. But if they can't get Warren for ordering the hit, or if they can't find Cheyenne and Casper, I might not have a choice.”
