I gasped, but I shook my head to readjust any more potential reactions. “On purpose?”
“No, not at first. I just wanted to inflict physical pain on them, which was why I kept biting willing humans instead of getting my blood from animals or through the shadow markets that existed before the blood centers came to fruition. But when I accidentally killed my first human, I was already addicted to the bite. Thoughts of leaving my home and being without the man I thought I’d always have by my side clouded my judgment and I went on a…rampage through D.C.”
“How many humans did you…kill?”
A choked sob came out of Kroven. “The horrible part is I don’t know, not for sure. More than twenty, less than sixty, if I had to wage a guess.”
Sixty? Kroven had killed almostsixtyhumans? I tried not torecoil, but I must have done so without meaning to, because Kroven unfurled his hand from mine, and he threw back his head against his seat and sobbed.
“You hate me now, don’t you? You’re terrified.”
“Not terrified,” I combated. “Just…shocked. It’s a lot to take in.”
Kroven wiped his face with the back of his hand, a serious look suddenly on his face, stern and stoic. “I’d completely understand if you no longer wish to be with me.”
“Will you stop trying to push me away and finish telling your story?” I smiled, hoping to help him shed this coarse exterior he was putting on.
He held on to it like a life vest, but he softened enough to keep talking. “Exo found me on the streets by chance, after I’d drained a group of humans one night who wanted to experience the bite. I was strung out from the overflow of endorphins, and he brought me to his home.” He stifled another sob and kept on pushing, the strain to finish his tale evident by the veins on his neck becoming more prominent. “He was a stranger to me, and yet, he got me clean from the bite. I was a monster during the withdrawal. I don’t remember a lot, only knowing what Exo chose to share with me years later. But, eventually, I found my way back to myself. Exo even got me to drink nothing but animal blood for almost an entire year.”
“Can sangamar survive on just animal blood?” I’d never heard that sangamar could even drink animal blood the same way they could human blood. I thought it had to be human for it to sustain them.
“Survive is a loose way of putting it, but yes. We can, but we require more amounts of it than we do human blood. And for whatever reason, animal blood doesn’t restore our vision.”
Only human blood would give sangamar their vision? This was fascinating, and I would have normally been drilling Kroven to talk more about the properties of what made thesangamar work, but obviously it wasn’t the right time. He cleared his throat and went on to the finale of his story.
“That’s why I freaked out the other day in the shower when you asked about being bitten,” Kroven nodded. His reaction to my inquisitive plea fell into place like the ghost of a puzzle piece. “I don’t ever want to tempt fate by even initiating the bite again.”
“I totally understand.” And I did. A lot of what Kroven was talking about reminded me of hearing about recovering drug addicts and alcoholics. While I’d never experienced anything like he was describing, I felt like I had a handle on the gravity something like that could hold over someone. And how scary it must be to be constantly tempted by being with a human.
“Do you ever,” My curiosity got the better of me, my tongue unable to stop itself. “Feel compelled to…”
“Bite you?” Kroven’s tone dipped, and he grabbed both of my hands in his and shook them. “I swear to you, Bas. Everything between us has been the most real thing I’ve ever experienced. I don’t want you to ever doubt that the only reason I’d be interested in our relationship furthering is because I’m tempted to consume your blood.”
I hadn’t been that worried but it was equally good to know. “I know that what we’ve been feeling is real, Kroven. I promise.” I leaned over and kissed his cheek.
He finally smiled, finally dawning on me that he’d been wearing such a macabre facade since we’d woken up. It felt good to see a semblance of happiness restoring the curve in his lips again.
“It’s been almost twenty years since I’ve bitten a human, let alone done the unthinkable and killed one.” Kroven nodded, making sure I really understood. “I can’t take away the damage I’ve done, but I try and make up for it by constantly donating to food drives and helping fund homeless shelters and anything I can do to repay my debt to humankind.”
“You don’t need to convince me of your character,” I assured him by kissing our conjoined hands. “I already know the type of person you are.”
“I just want you to really know how horrible I feel about my past and that I would never ever do that again. I would never put you in danger.”
“I’m not afraid.” I chuckled, but I shook our hands together. “But I hear you. And I appreciate you making sure I feel safe with you.”
The plane hit a patch of turbulence, which was an interesting little sign from the universe because while I felt safe with my creature boyfriend without hesitation, suddenly I didn’t feel so safe on the private plane.
“I’m sure we’re fine and Xoah is dealing with that.” Kroven scoffed. “And not a sign that you shouldn’t feel safe with me.”
I laughed that our ways of thinking were already becoming so similar and linearly woven together. “It’s all good.”
Kroven had told me a lot about his past in such a short amount of time, and he’d illustrated the history he’d had with Exo. But what little he’d gotten into, it didn’t explain why the fuck he’d been so angry with Exo. Like he’d mentioned at dinner, Exo had saved his life, weened him off of human blood and kept him from decimating more of D.C.’s population. What wasn’t he saying?
“Not to push my luck at the learning of the Kroven lore,” I paused to free my hands so I could rub his thigh through the white pants he’d plastered on this morning. “But what happened between Exo helping you through your withdrawal and you blowing up on him last night?”
He grunted, not liking the implication that Exo was innocent. I didn’t expect he was, but I had nothing more to go off of. “Remember how I mentioned that I had a ridiculous amount of wealth even though I didn’t work?” When I affirmed that I did remember, he added, “Well, during my hysteria, I was at leastvery calculated with who I chose to drain. I always would stake them out like prey.” He shuddered in disgust. “I sought out people who had very little family, or at least one’s that wouldn’t drop their lives to come investigating what happened to the ones I killed. And if they did, I hunted them down and made sure no one would care.”
“God, Kroven.”
