I bid everyone goodnight and step into the passageway. I smile at a couple of sailors passing by. River steps out behind me.
“I wondered if you’d participate in an interview,” I say. It makes sense to interview River. She’ll be spendingmore time with me than anyone else, and I can use her as a stepping-off point while I work out the shifts of the other sailors I intend to speak with.
Her hands are in her pockets again. She looks at me briefly before dropping eye contact. “Yeah, if you want. It’d need to be after my shift. Or next week when I escort you around.”
Ah yes, the babysitting gig. It’s a waste of River’s time. I’m more than capable of getting around the ship unaided, but I don’t want my dad giving the captain grief.
“Tomorrow would be great.”
She nods. I smile. It’s awkward.
We arrive at my cabin, and I don’t know what to do. I have the overwhelming urge to hug her, but that’s inappropriate. She just looks so…lost. It’s throwing me. This isn’t the cocky sailor from the bar, or even the awkward woman from the shower. This is someone else entirely.
“Hey, are you okay?” The question leaves my lips before I can overthink it.
Her eyes flick to mine and then down to my lips. My breath catches. The air between us shifts.
She clears her throat and stands straighter. “I’m fine. Just a little tired. Long day.”
She’s full of shit, but I don’t know her well enough to call her on it.
She bites her lip. It looks like she’s having an internal argument. “You seemed to have a good time last night.”
Okay, I wasn’t expecting that. “I did. It was nice to get out and dance.”
“You…you hit it off with that woman.”
“She was nice.”
I don’t know where this is going. Wait. Is River…jealous? No. That doesn’t make sense. She left with someone else. But the way she’s looking at me right now…
My body, on the other hand, tells me exactly where it wants the conversation to go.
River shuffles on the spot. Her eyes are back on my lips, and I find myself swaying forward.
River’s eyes darken. She leans in, just a fraction. Close enough that I can feel her breath.
The laughter of several sailors heading our way breaks the tension. I take a step back and open my cabin door. My heart is pounding in my ears.
“Thanks for walking me back, River. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
My door closes behind me before she has the chance to reply. A part of me wants her to knock on the door, push into the room and fuck me until I can’t walk.
The more sensible part of me knows I just dodged a bullet. Another roll in the sack would be great for an hour or two, but then what? Awkward mornings? Tension during interviews? My father finding out?
No. Not worth it.
I press my back against the door and wait for my heart to stop racing.
9
River
It’s one step forwardand two steps back. Yesterday I was feeling more myself as we shipped out. Leaving Portsmouth behind, ready to embark on a new adventure. It’s not the first mid-Atlantic exercise I’ve experienced, but it is the most significant. Only because I need the rush of work to distract me.
After my chat with Kit, I was ready to block out everything and focus one hundred percent on my job. And, for the most part, it worked. All morning yesterday I lost myself in routine and manual labour. I appreciated the feel of my overalls and the grease on my face. The banter with my fellow engineers. Hell, I didn’t even mind running into Leading Hand Grey.
That was my one foot forward. The two steps back came later in the day. First at lunchtime when we headedto the mess, only to run into Cleo. As soon as I saw her my stomach did that thing again. That uncomfortable twist that I’m starting to hate. She was bent over her laptop, hair falling forward, completely absorbed.
